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My grandmother has frontal lobe degeneration. Her short term memory is gone and her long term memories are almost gone. The most disturbing thing as of late is that she thinks my dad is her boyfriend. He looks like his dad and has the same name so it's kind of understandable. How do we handle this while upsetting her as little as possible?

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You gently change the subject. "He does look like xxx? Where did you meet him? What was your hair like then? Did you have a Marcelle? (fluffy hair of the 1940's) Did you do the Jitterbug? What movie did you go to?
You can get a lot of family history while leading her to happier times.
"OMG cloth diapers! How did you?" "How did you make formula?"
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my grandmother did the same so my husband bought her candy and flowers when she was in a bad mood and he was able to have her do things that she refuses to do juat go with it.sex was never on her mind she just wanted to feel like a woman it is not a big deal. good luck
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I recently read of a facility in the Netherlands that is set up with areas that are staged for past eras of time, and they encourage their residents to "live" in whatever era they are comfortable in each day. I recall a cousin of my dad's whose husband was a classic case; the last time we saw them he called me by my mom's same, my daughter by mine, and kept looking around for my dad. He obviously knew who we were, just a generation off. HIs wife told me that there were days he thought they weren't married yet. He lived in a VA facility and they were very good to him; found an unused office for him to hang out in and think he was still working.
It's a losing battle to try to keep an ALZ patient in the present; if they are happy reliving the past, it's like Pam said, take the opportunity to get some family history before it's gone for good.
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Humor her.
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While I understand that it disturbs you, it's also rather sweet. And, no, I'm not from West Virginia. :: smile :: I don't smile glibly. There are far worse things to be concerned about.

I don't know if this site supports outside links, but here we go: youtube/watch?v=zifeVbK8b-g If it doesn't work, go to youtube and search for Elvis Costello (artist) and Veronica (song)
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When I was 12 and my Great Grandmother was passing and thought I was my Father at my age. From across the hospital bed Dad gave me a pleading look. Im now 53 and think of the moment that I little "Jerry Ledru" is one of my proudest moments. Go with it your Father will be proud of you.
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I was almost 70 and my second husband was 93 when we married. His mind was sharp. He got around fairly well. We went to church, lunch at the sr apartment where he lived. My children loved him. His kids didn't like me. I had him on hospice care the last few months of his life. He was 101 when he died. His mind still sharp. Older people can marry and live good lives. Verna
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vja1951, I'm glad you had a good marriage but I'm not sure how your comments relate to my post or why you wasted 1s and 0s telling me not to seek advice for my family.
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I2understand has the answer, play along. No One is getting hurt. In her mind he is the boyfriend. you can not convince her other wise. My mom didn't know my dad, she considered him her dad at times, and that we girls, my sisters and her were all sisters. The other day she told someone her husband was Gary Cooper...LOL
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Hi Beth, I went thru this with my Mom and at times it paid off well. Just remember "the customer is always right" and agree with everything she says. I learned that in an alz support meeting. We took my Mom during this stage to the rockettes and she got up and half time and was leaving, she was done, wanted to go now! I was scared! Then my husband came walking down the aisle with his snacks and she said "omg you are here" and took his arm and held his hand through the rest of the performance. This stage will pass but it gives them comfort and they forget about it very soon anyway. We agreed with everything my mom said. This was a very long time ago for us but now sometimes when my husband gets home she is so smily and alert and tries to answer everything he asks her (she is non verbal mostly) and puts her arm up to hold his hand. We think its precious. She used to go crazy looking for her husband in her sundown phases and I said he is on the way home, she took that!! I even got to saying he was in the bathroom and she believed that too.(he died over 10 years ago) Her memory was that bad at that time. Good luck, dont fret, its ooookay.
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