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My Mom is 83 years old single and lives alone. She still works (She has worked her whole life and loves working. Her job is everything to her and we are afraid if she looses that job she will give up on life and die) and drives and she has very bad eyesight. My brother and I have tried to tell her she will get into an accident and she refuses to stop. How do we communicate to her that she needs to stop driving? She's very stubborn and independent. Are there services that offer rides to the elderly?

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Call your local Council on Aging (or an affiliate) to see if there are senior rides offered by your county. Also check with your mom's local town. In suburban Chicago, many towns have arrangements made with local taxi companies to give seniors a reduced rate on trips...very reasonable.

Make an appointment for mom at one of the eyeglass storefronts for an exam. Perhaps new glasses can help her. If she fails that exam with corrected vision, she absolutely should not be driving. Have the doctor write to the Secretary of State to have her driver's license revoked. Straight and to the point? You bet.

Look, we have a responsibility far beyond that of a loved one whose feelings we don't want to be hurt. If the doctor determines she shouldn't be driving, you must do everything in your power to stop her. That includes confiscating her keys and taking possession of her car. Period. There's no middle ground.

If she's still working, she has some money. Encourage it to use it to keep herself and others safe. Many taxi companies will do a special rate for a regular rider. Or perhaps she can bum a ride from someone she works with. All mom's life she never drove. She used to pay a co-worker who lived on her way to pick her up and take her home every day. Or perhaps you and your brother can alternate and give her a ride. Or a neighbor of your mom needs some extra money and could do it on a regular basis. There are solutions.

If your mom shouldn't be driving (after you've actually confirmed that), you simply MUST get her off the road.
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The driving issue is such a tough situation. I went through it with my dad. For me it was a process. I had to discuss the issue with my dad several times over a period of time. Finally we agreed to a compromise. If his Dr. thought he could still drive then I'd go along with that (I knew this wouldn't happen). The Dr. felt that my dad shouldn't be driving and my sweet dad handed over the keys to me that day.

But my dad was retired and didn't have a job like your mom does. That poses it's own unique problem. Who would get her to her job if she didn't drive? Here in St. Louis we have communities that have cute little busses that will pick up seniors. But there are some communities that don't have them. You might want to see if your mom's community offers this service.

That your mom loves her job and gives her a sense of purpose is very important and makes the driving issue much more difficult. Taking away the car may mean taking away her purpose and as you said, that could lead to a very rapid decline. I just have to think there's a solution.

Can she carpool with anyone?
Can family pitch in to get her to and from work?

With poor eyesight you're right to be concerned. It's just a matter of time before she has an accident. I hope you can get this figured out before her options are taken away from her.
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Driving with bad eyesight? That's a disaster waiting to happen. Is her problem something that can be easily corrected with surgery, like cataracts, or is it something like macular degeneration?
Has she had a thorough eye exam lately? She really needs one, and some input from the eye doctor on whether or not she should be driving.
Taking a cab to work, or getting a co-worker to ferry her to and from work are good ideas. There may even be someone in your community (a retiree, a stay-at-home-mom) who'd like to pick up some extra money by driving her.
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There are forms in every state for referring her to DMV for a retest. What state are we talking about?
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I see someone mentioned Chicago and most of the suburbs should have something like that. My mom lived in Joliet, for example, and they did have a ride program for seniors. I think a lifetime pass was $5 and you had to schedule it ahead of time, I believe. So, something like that could be useful for getting to and from work unless she works unusual or unexpected hours.

My mom gave up driving, voluntarily, but I'd heard a tip that you call the bureau of motor vehicles the day before she gets her next license, tell them the situation, and let them be the "bad guy" about taking her license.

Or, I suppose you could just physically take the keys from her and not give them back, if she's not close to renewal and truly a danger. I'm not saying that's easy, just saying it might be the only option.
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Third party. A physician can be their best friend and be the one to say no.
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Ditto redolentone's answer. Have EYE doctor examine her and then tell her she can no longer drive. In many U.S. states auto insurance companies will not renew your insurance (age 70+) without an exam then OK from medical professional specializing in eye care.
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In florida you can report someone anonymously. I have a friend (young)who argued with her doctor about needing glasses to drive and he pretty much told her if she did nit take the prescription he was obliged to report to the dmv.
When the letter comes in the mail, ordering him to retest, you have no idea how it came about, but volunteer to take him for the test. Don't let up that you narc-ed him out.
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