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My 95 year old father refuses to bathe and it is getting bad. He does not need assistance and we have a walk in shower/tub. Nothing seems to work. help, anyone?

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I've got the exact same problem with my 85-year old father. He is sooo stubborn! We've tried everything, from shame to flattery. But, one thing he loves to do it go out to play cards. I take him to euchre tournaments about twice a week. I only ask him to bath once a week, but can't even seem to get him to do that. He will even lie to me, but I can tell when I get there to pick him up because he STINKS! Even when he claims to have "washed up at the sink". He won't use soap, and that just does not get a body clean!

FInally I had to do something drastic on Monday night. I was on my way to pick him up for his euchre tournament. I asked him if he bathed, and he promised me that he did. When I arrived, the odor hooked me in the nose as soon as I walked in the door. I looked in his walk-in tub and found it dry as a bone. I confronted him, and he admitted it but still was uncooperative. For the first time ever, I walked out and left him at home and went to play cards alone. I think this really shook him up. The bad thing is, I felt really super guilty the whole night! I felt horrible doing that to him, and I dreaded the thought if anything happened to him between now and the next time I can take him out again.

Well, tonight we go out again. I called him and he agreed to get IN the bath-tub and wash up with SOAP. Now he KNOWS that I will leave him home if he does not comply. We shall see if the "tough love" approach finally does the trick!
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Thanks so much for your input! Unfortunately it is no longer an issue since my father passed away recently at the age of 96. I miss those little things now..
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What is his reasoning? Why doesn't he want to bathe? I tell my Dad he smells like an old man, that usual works. Sponges baths work also.
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He is just stubborn. I tell him he smells and threaten him with not going out to eat, which he loves. He has gotten worse lately. I may have to hire someone to come in and give him a sponge bath (male).
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My dad is also resistant to showering, but he does wash up in the sink. I consider the 3 showers he's had in the past 15 months major victories!!! Perhaps once you refuse to take him out, and he believes you, he will agree. If not, I certainly empathize with you!
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Would flattery work? Dad why would such a handsome man want to stink? I do know if it looks like I am trying to tell my Dad what to do he will never do as I want, but if I tell him you are a grown able to make your own decisions, and shut up about it. in a few days he comes around. Also I learned from a very wise woman. Never tell him what to do, ask him always using you in the question. For example, Do YOU want to get a sponge bath or take a shower? This way it's his decision not your nagging.

I feel for you. My 92 year old Dad has taken one shower in the last six months. If I get him a full sponge bath once a week, it's a miracle. I refuse to stress about it. I can't force him. I follow him around with neosporin. If I see a break in the skin or a bruise I put it on his skin. When he bitches I reply if you would get a bath I wouldn't have too.
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