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My mother is constantly wanting to go to the bathroom and when she does she doesnt urinate. It is very frustrating not to mention exhausting

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My mom will stay in bed and sleep all day. She gets agitated if we try to keep her up. She also gets up to go to the bathroom alot at night even though she's incontinent when she cant sleep. The things I've learned about why she wants to sleep; low thyroid levels, urinary tract infections, pain, she's over or under stimulated because of TV on constantly or nothing to do. She also closes her eyes a lot due to trying to cope with the confusion. When she is with me she is on a schedule, distraction helps to keep her awake, quietness helps her to regroup. Also I make deals with her if she stays up she can take a 1 1/2 hr nap in afternoon. Also if her husband doesn't talk to her or yells at her she wants to go to bed from depression. I have an aid come from 12p to 3p to keep her awake. Dementia takes a toll on her and on our sleep..she has had episodes of pneumonia, dehydration, weakness and malnutrition from sleeping too much. It's all trial and error to figure out the causes of constant sleepiness and to keep her awake during the day so she can sleep at night. Good luck and know you are not alone.
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About three or four times a week, mom is up at night yelling to the high heavens for me to come in and get her out of bed. Fortunately, she can't get up by herself thanks to bed rails, raising the head and foot of the bed. Sans that, she'd be falling every night, as she forgets she can't walk alone. That the rails and hospital bed keep her at least safe is a blessing.

Mom gets a 25 mg pain pill and a sleeping pill at bed time. It does the trick until about 2 or 3 AM. Some nights I don't hear a peep, other nights I drag my little behind out of bed and remind her it's the middle of the night. (She doesn't care.) Tell her everyone's sleeping but her. (She doesn't care.) And that I'm NOT going to get her a glass of milk and a cookie. (Or whatever)

I rarely get her up to go to the bathroom because that's a 15-minute job. I remind her she's wearing Depends briefs for just that purpose. Sometimes she shreds them off herself and throws the cotton stuffing all over the floor.

If there is one reason I won't be able to take care of mom at home anymore it's the sleeping issue. Last night, I probably got 5 hours -- tough night. Hoping tonight will be better.

So. In short. I'll be watching this thread to see if anyone has any answers. Ha!

(Do listen to the posts that refer you to the doctor. A bladder infection often makes one feel like one has to go to the bathroom all the time.)
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Maybe she has a bladder health concern. Has this been checked out by her doctor:
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My mother is the same way! She could spend hours in there. She plays with the bath mat and lives wet wipes of all kind. I have not slept through the night in over 2 years.
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Urologist required!! Could be a blockage. Could be a condition called "painful bladder syndrome" where certain food cause bladder pain and make you feel like you have to pee all the time whether you do or not.... this is often misdiagnosed as a "bladder control" issue, but it's not. It required you to identify and stop eating certain foods. See the urologist so you can both some sleep.
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My 95 year old mother in law has always had a problem sleeping through the night. She is not mobile unless we are there to help her. Because of this she has a wireless doorbell on her bedside table so she can call us and we soon realized that every time she woke up at night she was ringing for us to come and "put her on the pot". We were in there every 2 to 3 hours and she wasn't doing anything. It's very frustrating and a huge hassle.

We had her checked to make sure it wasn't a UTI and her doctor suggested a drug for overactive bladder. We knew it wasn't overactive bladder because she didn't do that during the day. It seemed she was just doing it because she was waking up and it was something to do or to get us in there to ask for more sleeping pills. It took us a while to figure this out. We have a camera in her room so we can check on her without going in her room at night so we decided to not give her the bedside bell when she first goes to bed. We tell her we'll be in to help her get on the pot before we go to bed and then we put the bell back next to her. She's ok with that for the most part. After that time she will usually not ring again for at least four hours (how often she usually goes). In the past she has actually rung the bell to ask us what time it is. At 4 am! We had to take away her clock at night because she lays there staring at it and obsessing over how long it's taking her to get to sleep. Luckily my husband and I can tag team it with him staying up later and me getting the early morning bell. This has greatly reduced the number of times she gets us in there.

For her sleep issues we ended up giving her Melatonin and that works fairly well. Her main problem is she wants to be in her bed at 9 pm no matter what. Even if she's not sleepy. She starts worrying about this at about 7 pm. She also has to have her "sleeping pills" which right now is Trazadone. For a while if she didn't fall right to sleep she would call us in there over and over to ask if she got her pills. Without the bell she doesn't (can't) do that. We keep an eye on her and If she isn't asleep after an hour or so we've found that we can give her a placebo like an aspirin and tell her it's an extra sleeping pill and she will fall right to sleep. We can even just give her a spoon of applesauce (how she takes her pills) and tell her there's something in it and that will do the trick. It took us a few months to come up with this system and it has worked for us.

I feel bad for anyone who has to deal with this issue. It makes a world of difference to face the difficult day after seven or eight hours of sleep. This is one of the toughest parts of caring for her.
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Wild lettuce leaf extract may help. I would always go the natural way first. A friend of mine used this for his wife with dementia and it surely helped. Also research glutathione supplementation for dementia...unbelievable really! Best wishes.
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Please ask your doctor for seroquel. It helps my father in law sleep through the night. Although his body is getting used to it, it still keeps him down through the night. He is now on 150 mg a night, maybe you should start on 50 mg at bedtime.
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I think this relates to what's been going on with my mom. For starters she has Alzheimer, because of this she doesn't remember she just used the rest room, so she is always going. Next thing will be UTI's becuz they forget how to wipe. Our biggest problem now is agitation and not sleeping. I have been reading about using Depakote for this the agitation and not sleeping, but most of the posts i have read are dated from 2011 or before. I am very interested in using this for my mom but believe it will be hard to get a physician to prescribe it.
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She is on seroquel which is not helping anymore. She is now in the stage of not knowing she is in her own home, and is living in the past at times, can be very combative also.
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