freqflyer Asked November 2022
For those of us who are seniors, what was the one thing that surprised you the most about getting older?
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For me, it is trying to stand back up from a squatting position. This physical movement seem to appear rather quickly. I have to have the cat litter boxes right next to a waist high cabinet so I can push myself up. So weird, as I used to be a gym rat for decades until I had to stop to help out my parents.
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At only 62, soon to be 63, I can barely walk. I certainly can't bend down to pick something up without searing pain in my legs!
I always thought of myself as strong, fit and active. I loved walking!
Now, after 9 years of caring for my 180 pound husband, who requires a lot of help with transfers in and out of bed, I find it has put an enormous amount of stress on my hips and legs.
Most days I don't know how I can continue doing this. But I have to. I can't afford to place my husband in a NH. I would lose his SS income, and my income as his caregiver. And he's already been kicked out of 2 NH's for his aggressively uncooperative behavior. They don't want him. And I can't blame them.
Besides taking care of my husband, I now have three grandchildren whom I help to raise. Their father is in prison, and their mother is homeless. I share responsibility with the other grandmother to take care of them.
I never envisioned my "Golden Years" being anything quite like this.
I used to embrace life's struggles, as it allows us to gain courage, strength, and confidence. But now, I feel defeated. My body hurts like hell every day!
I feel like I just can't do it any more. But, I push through because I have to.
I just try to get through the day, taking one day at a time, and hope for a better tomorrow.
Wonder what it will be like for the much younger generation, when they get to our age, who I rarely see outdoors playing.
I take walks through the graveyard that is peaceful and the beautiful sculptors are amazing.
Example, I am no fan of cellphones. Between my limited up close vision, and occasional hand tremors, it can take me a half hour to do one simple text. For some reason my teen grand-daughters are so confused on how to communicate with me since I told them "no more texting".
I gave my grand-daughters my email address a few years ago (which I have had for over 20 years). Using email is so easy, I can fly on full size keyboard. Heck, I learned to type on one of those black manual typewriters. Remember the white powder tape for typing errors? Mimeographs anyone?
I am happy as a clam on Facebook, but it appears to be a relic in teenagers minds. But not all is lost, a new step-teen-granddaughter hand wrote an actually thank you note for a gift we sent and mailed the thank you card to us. I was almost in tears when I saw it :)
I met a nice couple who were in their 70's. They were multi generational Montanans. They had recently sold their 10,000 acre ranch in a remote part of Montana as they did not have family to take it on. They had a 10 year plan to complete the sale but the wife said it still took longer. The ranch had been the husband's grandfather's land. They live in a nice house in town now but you could tell neither the husband nor wife will ever get over selling the ranch.
They had a nice set of white cowboy boots displayed near the fireplace. I complimented them on the cowboy boots. The wife said she bought them at a fundraiser charity auction and would like to wear them but did not feel she could wear the boots due to her age.
She said in Montana the young women wear cowboy boots with sundresses and with short cotton dresses. She said she never saw older ladies wear cowboy boots and didn't think it was appropriate.
I thought this was so sad that a woman who had worked over 40 years on a ranch raising beef cattle did not think she could wear cowboy boots in her 70's.
My self talk now whenever I think something is not age appropriate,
"WEAR THE COWBOY BOOTS."
.
We live in northern Michigan so lots of snow management here. Still have two horses and we stupidly adopted an high energy herding dog. We love her but OMG she demands that we go go go all the live long day. Every year re rigging my tractor for winter gets much harder. My wife and I can still lift the cab onto the thing but just barely. Then there’s two hours or so of wrestling around on a cold concrete floor getting the mower off, blower on etc Afterwards I feel like I lost a twelve round fight. So sore! Then there’s snow tires to be put on the Jeep. That’s a back breaker. Damn things are big ol truck tires, heavy as all hell. All my men friends are worse off than me. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t have a bad back so nowhere to go for help unloading 100 bales of hay.
Balance issues? Yep. Weight gain? Check. On my last belt notch. Skin? Paper thin old man skin. Guaranteed to be going for bandaids if I so much as check the oil in the car.
we got e bikes two years ago and love them. You can get as much of a workout as you want by pedaling and adjusting the battery level. And you’re sitting up straight, no more neck and back pain. I highly recommend them for all oldsters.
keeps us out and moving.
Good to see my old friends here still kicking.
I was in the hospital for a couple of days and if you are not alert they can treat you pretty bad! I felt sorry for the ones that had no visitors! When you get old life is very lonely!
Now that I am in my late 70's, oh my gosh, how things have changed. I retired at 75 and since then I feel like a sloth. Yard work is maybe 15 minutes at the most (had to hire a company). Need tools to open a pull-top can. And I swear, the cat food companies must be using super glue on their pull off top cat food. Housework I put off until I know someone is planning on visiting.
But I try to keep my mind active doing genealogy daily for hours on end. Plus watch the old game shows where one can play along from home, love "Match Game". Takes a few seconds longer for my brain to find the answer, but it's there :)
I can't squat any more. I'm 62.
I was always strong and fit and thought I would remain that way!
But, a couple of years ago, I went through a bout of depression. I removed myself as far as I could from my husband, who I have care for for 9 years.
I started sitting a lot, streaming movies. I had the mindset that I was fit and strong, so a little stiffness wouldn't last long - I thought I could easily overcome it. I have not. Now, I can barely walk from one end of the house to the other. It is painful. My muscles are stiff. My joints are stiff.
I never thought this would happen to me!
My advice to everyone - Keep moving and being active! You have no idea how fast you will decline when you stop moving! The older we get, the longer it takes to recover from anything!
grandma1954 - But every day this side of the dirt is a good one! Love that and totally agree. Sorry abpo the knees and the tinnitus.
valentine - ((((hugs))). I never expected my mum to live to 106 and that I would be her (distance) caregiver till I was 81. it's a different ballgame than it was when I was young.
I also can't get up out of bed quietly, I sorta sound like an ad for that cereal. I snap, crackle, pop as I walk.
Not sure if it is age or the fact that this might be residual from COVID but I have Tinnitus that has become more bothersome. Sorta like having cicadas in my head. I can ignore that but sometimes I hear music or voices and I find myself walking around the house listening before I realize it is in my head!
I still do what I can, walk at least 2 miles on the treadmill daily and I keep myself busy. I have 3 critters that sorta like having me around and they keep me busy as well.
But every day this side of the dirt is a good one!
I bought a flowery pj set & I plan to wear the top as a top out to dinner tomorrow night. It has puffed sleeves with a frilly neckline. With some black elastic waist pants (I have several now) 😂. Add some jangly earrings.. Voila!
The ladies of this town (on a mini-break) have been spotted with pink hair, extreme green cardi, big earrings, super bright eyewear, campingwear, farmwear, everything. Love it.
If you want to wear printed blouses and elastic waist pants - go for it,
If you want to be an Iris Apfel and wear tons of jewellery and bright colours - go for it.
If you want to wear jeans and t-shirts - go for it.
I've had cowboy boots for years - not because they were in style, but because they were useful and looked ok. Still do.
I don't care about what age you are. Wear what you want to wear. That may change as you get older. It's what you are comfortable in, in terms of how your look and how you feel. I don't care what the fashion mags say. or what is the latest fad. If you live long enough, they come around again anyway.
I'm currently in a US western state. I met a woman in her 70's who lived and worked on a remote cattle ranch for 40 years. I was at her house and she has a nice pair of leather boots on display. I asked about the cowgirl boots. She said she bought them at auction and would like to wear them but she only sees the young girls in sundresses wearing the cowgirl boots. She did not feel like it would be age appropriate to wear the boots.
It mad me sad that a woman who had owned and worked on a cattle ranch for 40 years did not feel like she could wear cowgirl boots due to her age.
We are in a western town by the way.
I have fun knit animal hats and have been twice informed that they were age inappropriate - meant for children. “My inner child’s head was cold.”
You know what I’m too old to wear?!? The fashion opinions of others! (And those funny one piece coverall pyjamas. Can’t get them off fast enough. 🚽)
Plus it's true when people say they feel invisible. It's like once you hit a certain age you aren't considered important enough to even be acknowledged anymore. Maybe that's why some people get louder when they age. That and hearing problems.
I hear Tynagh about finding appropriate clothes. I can still fit into young styles but I never want to be that woman in her sixties who is wearing tight fitting sweat pants that say juicy on the bum. Where are the clothes for those of us who aren't quite ready to just wear printed blouses and elastic waist bands every day?
I NEVER do that, until after I've been sick!
I'm only 60, and I go to the gym 5 days a week! What's it going to be like when I'm 80? Gaaaah!
🤣🤣🤣
I relate. Same with me; my face isn't wrinkled but it's melting slowly like a candle.