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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Kittie - Looking at this question and your earlier posts - I'd say you're living with some one who suffers from depression or perhaps early onset dementia. If possible get her to a doctor - call ahead and report all of her behaviors to the doctor - sit in on the appointment and see how she behaves.
I have the same thing with my mum who lives with me. She won't doing anything for herself except getting and eating food. I have no problem with doing things for her if only she would do what she can. For example I know she can't manage the hoover but she could pick up the sweet papers on her bedroom floor. I know she can't clean her bathroom but she can keep her basin clean . . .She has no interenst in being independent. It's been 10 years now. She seem perfectly happy though and not depressed. I don't know how to approach thesubject with her and just feel resentful and then guilty all the time.
Chicibok - don't you DARE feel guilt over resentment! Resentment of her is perfectly NORMAL in this situation. Of course, she's happy - she's free of responsibility. My brother is like that - totally content to live in a "den" of cobwebs, dust and spills - it's disgusting. I hope you find some respite soon!
My own mother has been staying in bed more and more since she moved in three years ago. Now she barely gets up even for dinner. The only thing that motivates her are her hair or doctor's appointments, or going out for dinner, THAT she loves. It's tiresome, but I don't have the patience to keep urging her to get up and move around, and of course you can't just yell. I suppose if your mother's health is reasonable it shouldn't be a problem, but sounds like she's having major cleanliness issues. Does she stay with you or is she on her own? Can you get her room cleaned up? If your mother is in the bed most of the time it shouldn't be too hard to keep the rest of the room clean.
She could be depressed or have dementia. My mom is 89; lives alone and sleeps most of the time I think. She too is physically in good health; but her body tires more easily, her mind wanders and she just wants to sleep. Little trips take a lot out of her.
Depending on her age; this may be normal; but I'm guessing depression and lethargy -- no gumption to do anything without someone else leading the activity. Make appt with Dr and get thorough workup -- blood, urine test, mental test --- set up the appt for her and make sure you tell the dr you want all these done so they set a long enough appt time for you. Make sure he is experienced in eldercare or sees alot of seniors in his practice. He may put her on mild antidepressent and vitamins to lift her spirit and energy. Good Luck
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's tiresome, but I don't have the patience to keep urging her to get up and move around, and of course you can't just yell.
I suppose if your mother's health is reasonable it shouldn't be a problem, but sounds like she's having major cleanliness issues. Does she stay with you or is she on her own? Can you get her room cleaned up? If your mother is in the bed most of the time it shouldn't be too hard to keep the rest of the room clean.
Depending on her age; this may be normal; but I'm guessing depression and lethargy -- no gumption to do anything without someone else leading the activity. Make appt with Dr and get thorough workup -- blood, urine test, mental test --- set up the appt for her and make sure you tell the dr you want all these done so they set a long enough appt time for you. Make sure he is experienced in eldercare or sees alot of seniors in his practice. He may put her on mild antidepressent and vitamins to lift her spirit and energy. Good Luck