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My mom can be very lucid and aware most of the time (she's almost 90 y/o) but then be rather frightening. She called me at the grocery store about 8:00pm and said she had just wakened up and didn't know if it was night or day and was confused. Couldn't get her "bearings" and wasn't sure if she should have taken her 7:30 meds or not. Took abit of taking to her to convince her it was night time. Simple things she is totally confused or forgetful about yet can do other things rather well.

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Lucysmom501, I managed to wean my dad off Coke by encouraging him to take his pills twice a day with a small glass of low sugar juice (Healthy Balance) or water. I drink with him. We also keep a few bottles of Ensure in the refrigerator. He never asks for Coke any more and I think he is better hydrated.
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Nope, I don't think it's too bad at all. My feeling is that he's happy, he's fed, his blood work results are pretty much normal, therefore, I won't rock the boat. At 94, 95 in October, he can eat what he wants. I think even if at some time, the blood shows diabetes, I still won't modify the diet all that much. Maybe take away a few candy bars and switch to Diet Pepsi, but he'll still retain his diet and his routine.
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Lucysmom, that's not too bad of a diet, really!!
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Chimonger........about your elderly friend.....my dad's diete consists of cereal, banana, blueberries, milk and coffee cake for breakfast. Lunch is a few Nestle Crunch bars and dinner every night is a tuna salad sandwich and more coffee cake. During the day he consumes 4 or 6 oz cans of Pepsi. No amount of coaxing will get him to change his diet. His blood work is decent. Pre-diabetic but protein level is good, etc. I figure if he's made it to 94, let him eat what he wants when he wants. Doc would like to see him eat better, but he won't have Meals on Wheels come in and the times I took him over a plate of food I made, he put it in the fridge and threw it out. I have to pick my battles with him, like a child. But, in the long run, he's happy and that's what matters.
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Wow I wondered about if my mom had demintia but thought to myself she has such a great memory of all past things from years ago but seems to forget about recent stuff...with being very combative at times...
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Mama is 90 almost 91 yo now and her dementia is pretty advanced. Doctors have diagnosed her with Alzheimers as well. We are at a place where she is mostly quiet all the time. She has been totally bedfast now for over a year and I have been her sole caregiver, other than the bathing aid that hospice provides three times a week. They have told me they can come daily if I need it...for me right now I kind of need that time with her and when I bathe her I sing to her and whereas she used to look at me and smile, she just looks at me now, rarely shows emotion, quite often seems to not be so sure of who I am but then she will have a few brighter moments and yet it is so fleeting...I feel lost...I miss her so much and she is right here....Mama has been such a sweet loving funny lady all her life an how I miss that person. I love her then and now, but the helplessness I feel is almost numbing...
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I agree with Lindaz that dementia doesn't come and go, but symptoms can be different from one day to the next or even one moment to the next. Diagnosis is best, of course. Then you have a place to start.

Please keep reading the advice from the wonderful community. People do understand what you're going through.
Carol
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Especially with a non-Alzheimer dementia, long term memory can be great while judgement and social skills and then later, short term memory not so hot. And yes, any infection or any medical issue or any change in routine at all can cause a tailspin. It is not so much that the dementia comes and goes, but that the ability to cope varies with the situation. When a non-demented person feels crummy, they might be moody or tired but recognize it for what it is and compensate or call in sick; the person with dementia just feelss there is something bad going on and may not even realize it is with them and not with the rest of the world. One of the things that enabled me to realize that Mom would not be safe to return home and live alone again was simply that she would so quickly or unpredictably have a bizarre delusion or get agitated and combative from any minor infection. Some meds can make it worse or better too; my mom had hallucinations that got better after coming off Cymbalta and using just Tylenol and Neurontin for arthritis and neuropathic pain she was having.
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I have recently started caring for a woman who exhibits some of the same symptoms detailed here. Recently it was discovered that one of her medications for allergies was affecting her memory. Since taking her off of it she is showing marked improvement.
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but she has the episodes the same as she did when she was hom she wants to know if she sa she say if that's where she lives s she wants to know if she's safe if that's where she lives she doesn't like it there my fear when she was home when she was going to so good luck to you al I feel your pai
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Hi frustrated, In a word 'NO', dementia doesn't come and go, it's always there. Has your mom been evaluated by a good neurologist? If not, please do this as soon as possible and then you will know for sure what you are dealing with and what things will happen as the disease progresses. My mom had Alz. for about 10 years, she passed away on Jan 4 at the age of 92. She was under hospice care for the last 2 years and all I can say is that it is a horrible disease. BUT they do have some good times, even lucid times, even if they are in the end-stage of the disease. These lucid times become less and less as the disease progresses and at the end the 'lucid' time becomes only maybe a look at you where you can tell she recognizes you - even if it is only a moment, we always took it as a blessing (to us). In the early stage of the disease they are (or appear to be) almost normal at times only to disappear within the disease. But first, the very first thing you should do is to get her seen by a good doctor (again I recommend a neurologist especially one who specializes in memory disorders) and then you will know for sure what you are dealing with. If it does wind up being a form of dementia PLEASE keep coming to this site for help, support and information. I've found them (all of the other care-givers) to be kind, smart and very helpful and supportive. Blessings to you, Lindaz
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My mom called me while driving she was on her way to our old home that we havent lived in in 20 years... All while she was supposed to be in waiting room in the dentist office while my father was having his teeth cleaned.
She taught nursing for 20 years and now shecant find words in a word search. She has been diagnosed with parkinsons dementia many years ago and she too has her good days and bad. Her sense of time is non existant but she still remembers things in the past. I think thats so difficult for the loved ones and thier families because they cant control it and no one knows it comes or when it goes. We watch her 24/7 now Because she still thinks she is so capable of doing everything when the truth is she can do very little now. Keeping her happy though does
Help to snap her out of the negative thoughts at times and i never point out her mistakes because we noticed early on that it just upsets her. I remind her i make mistakes like that all the time.
Good luck to you both and i hope for all great days!!
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We placed our mom in a nursing home after two years of my sister and me caring for her in our homes. She is 93 and has always been very sharp mentally. She seemed like she was adjusting well but one Sunday morning when I called her she started right in telling me about the voles she had watched coming into her room all night. I was stunned and kept questioning her and she insisted they were still in there trying to get voles out and she needed to go to the bathroom. She told me to call the company to come get them and then gave her correct room number. Later when she seemed "back to normal" she remembered telling me that but still seemed kind of unsure. We have been horrified at some of the things she says and at other times she seems perfectly lucid and is making perfect sense. On top of all of that the doctor there changed her meds in the middle of January and unbeknownst to us put her on Tramadol. I had not put that on the list of meds she couldn't take because I had no idea they would be changed. Her roommate had passed away on a weekend and the next weekend 3 days after being on Tramadol she insisted to my sister and me that her deceased roommate had been in to visit her. Just in passing with a conversation with a nurse I found out this doctor had changed her meds and told them to immediately stop giving her that because she has taken it before and it adversely affected her. But now even though those have been out of her system completely she still will say off the wall things like seeing a little man behind her salt shaker who was having a conversation with a dog. We have been beside ourselves wondering if she could have gotten dementia overnight so it has helped me to read this and realize it might be something like this going on. If she keeps saying these types of things the psychiatrist is going to do some testing. It is so sad and so scary.
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This, unfortunately, is the aging mind! Many times they get confused and also what they are thinking isn't what comes out of their mouths.
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Unfortunately, no. Alzheimer's is a progressive disease, and gets worse over time.
However, there are good days when they appear fine, but there are also bad days when the symptoms become much more pronounced.
My mother was diagnosed with dimentia, and passed away 10 years later.
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All great answers, thanks so much. Aging seems to be so individual and everyone's symptoms so different. My mom has not been diagnosed with any dementia, doctor hasn't addressed it. She has in past while arguing, threatened to call the police on my, and once said she was going to take me to court for abuse. I addressed her forgetting to take her meds, being confused and police and abuse issues with the doctor at her doctor's follow up appointment yesterday. She denied accusing me of abuse, told doctor I make things up. She did agree to forgetting her meds. She's threatening to move out of my house and live on her own, the doctor said he didn't think she should. Today she told me that "he thinks I forget my meds everyday" that's why he said she couldn't live alone. She said "I don't forget everyday so he's not right." She is on serious, toxic heart meds and Coumadin, not medication to be taking improperly. She will not accept the fact she can't live alone. She's asked a realtor to look for a place in a nearby town. I am not going to drive 15-20 miles to get to her every time there is an issue, I can't work, maintain my life and health and do it. I did it before and it was exhausting. That's not selfish it's just looking at the big picture and being realistic.
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My husband has early onset Lewy Body Dementia. Fluctuation is part of the disease, and it can be weeks, days, moments. When he first started showing signs, they were so brief and infrequent I thought I had imagined them. Then when it progressed to where he realized he was doing it, which is another thing about LBD (they are aware of their dementia), he would act like he was kidding around. Now one minute he can do something, and next he can't. It's hard as a caregiver, because you always have to be watchful. If he doesn't come out of the bathroom for awhile, it maybe because he can't remember how to do something in there and he is trying to figure it out. He also has Parkinson-like symptoms, so sometimes he "sticks." He will stare at his food knowing he is supposed to eat, but can't seem to pick up the fork. If I put food on the fork, sometimes it seems to trigger his brain and he will pick it up, and sometimes I just have to let him be, until his brain kicks in on its own.
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Gosh--anyone at any age, can suddenly awake from a sleep, and feel disoriented, if conditions are just right. This can happen to elders more than young people, as elder's sleep can be more erratic than younger people's sleep patterns.
There is a normal, usually imperceptible, transition between some levels of deep sleep, and fully awake, where the mind can play tricks, until enough sensory cues kick in to re-orient us to where/when we are [what our eyes, ears, nose and skin tell us]. Some intense dreams can carry over into the partially awakened mind, too, overlaying sensory input, confusing things.

Some people even get a form of sleep paralysis, in which the mind wakes before the body, making it difficult or impossible to move the body for seconds or minutes. It can be scary, if someone doesn't understand what's going on.

Other things can contribute to this---dehydration, B12 deficiency [always get this along with Folic Acid, to keep it balanced.], UTI's, other infections, etc. as others have mentioned.
So can stress, what someone ate [or didn't--as in, not enough caloric intake can cause odd mind states]
I'd do something to make sure she had proper hydration/electrolytes.
That's fairly quick and easy to do, simply by having your elder drink something pleasant, such as Coconut Water, Pedialyte, or [...choking on this one...]...Gatorade. [This is assuming she is Not taking drugs which tend to cause potassium to go too high].

Overall, elders tend to sleep less, have poorer quality sleep, have more difficulty dropping into deeper sleep patterns, and their sleep patterns can be more scrambled.
Elders also tend to have more issues with deficient breathing during sleep--she might need a C-Pap machine, or a low-flow Oxygen to give her just enough to sleep more comfortably and better.
Some folks tend to simply stop breathing occasionally--it's not even an obstruction such as snoring; they just stop breathing for a bit [can be up to a minute or so].
All those things can disturb sleep, cause scrambled brainwave patterns during sleep....which can cause the disorientation upon sudden waking.

The good part of this episode, for her, is, that she had presence of mind to call you, so she was not entirely disoriented!
That she called, meant not only could she Find the phone, she remembered how to Use it, and could make her body make that call.
It's mind-boggling how many mental steps that can take; therefore, that she could do that, means a larger part of her mind was still OK, and, that means this was likely a brief, sporadic episode.

Getting her Doc to evaluate this, might serve to either reveal something that needs treated, or, that things are really OK, and this was just a brief episode and not to worry.
If it's nothing to worry over, it's just to be compensated for, in case it happens again. Make sure there is a date / time immediately visible near where she sleeps; also, perhaps a system for tracking/record keeping for when meds are actually taken, so they aren't taken twice.

Talking with her about what causes this kind of disorientation, can help calm, and help prepare for future potential episodes.

But it does need checked, if this is what it was, or if she had a TIA, or a stroke, or if there's an infection.

There are many elders who simply want someone to explain it to them, and they might just chose to NOT go to the Doc, because once one reaches advanced age, and still have most of their marbles, many would rather just maintain quality of life for what they have, and not mess with Docs visits, drugs, or anything else.
A dear friend is doing that, now; she's in her mid-90's.
A few years back, on a trip to S. CA, she had to extend her stay, to have stents placed, to allow circulation to her heart; she sporadically has fainting episodes still, but not as often.
Those stents bought her some time to work on putting her affairs in order, but only a few years, really.
Her statements were: "If you insist on calling paramedics every time I faint, my orders are still, DNR" [Do not Resuscitate].
And, "For heaven's sake! I'm well over 90! I'd rather die on my floor at home, than get hauled to the hospital or Doc for everything that goes haywire at this age!". Those were spoken when she was really in her proper mind.
Her mind has been dwindling for the last 3 years, most in the last year, to the point someone really needs to be with her 24/7.
She's become pleasantly ditzy, forgetful, resistant to taking meds or eating properly; she'd happily eat lemon meringue pie for all meals, than to mess with eating actual protein and produce--not because she has dental issues--she doesn't, but she prefers the goodies, and she will tell anyone, she's "old enough to choose for herself, because at this point, it doesn't matter!"
She has lost quite a bit of weight [fat], but, because she is not eating healthy, she's also ditzier than she otherwise might have been, and, has less energy to do things she likes. She agrees to take a few medications, but not much. In her opinion, vitamins are poppycock.
For her, Doc visits are few, but she still likes to have a Mani/Pedi, and get her hair done...getting her out to those, has gotten tougher, due to dwindling energy, but she'd much rather that, than be pestered by health issues.
Her adult kids are all stressing out, but understanding. It's amazing to see a family working cohesively to take care of their Mom and her affairs properly, while honoring her choices.
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Dementia involves damage to the brain. Plaques, tangles, abnormal protein deposits, atrophy -- whatever is wrong with the brain can be seen upon autopsy. This damage does not come and go. It gets progressively worse.

BUT ...

The symptoms can fluctuate from day to day or even hour by hour. Some kinds of dementia are especially known for this fluctuation -- it is a diagnostic criterion for the Lewy Body dementias, for example.

So whether the symptoms are constant or they come and go isn't going to be much help in guess whether the problems are dementia. A medical evaluation can help with that.
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I agree with all of the above possibilities (i.e. UTI, dehydration, vitamin imbalances, etc). Has she been diagnosed with a specific kind of dementia. Lewie Body is one that can cause a person to change suddenly and return to baseline. Other dementias just have "good and bad" days, sometimes there is also a condition called "Sundowners" where a person can be "good most of the day but in the afternoon or eve can really spiral down. Lots of questions to ask a gerontologist.
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Its amazing how it comes agoes at times, I think it must have to be due to depression not that I am saying take any pills, but you make them smile and it will bring them back sometimes, just keep em talking. But this is often a rare event. H*ll it was rare with my X wife when she was forty. One time she mentally left me for months and then once morning on the way to the office she asked how long have I been gone, I said honey you are back wow, I love you. You have been gone for six months, she said wow thats the longest time and I said it was. She left soon after and that was the end, she never returned for more than a few seconds after that. She was my beauty.
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My mother has typical memory issues for an 89 yr old but I definitely have seen things become exasperated when she has a UTI. Subtle changes, hygiene less than normal, then the hallucinations of me or other people being in her house and then we must battle with her to get checked for the UTI. Once on the antibiotic the change in her mental state is wonderful and she almost seems normal, just age issues. I'm a big advocate for suggesting that you have your loved one checked for a UTI as with my mom there are no physical symptoms only mental ones.
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It could also be affected by something as simple as not getting enough vitamins through diet of food she eats. I had this problem with my mom. She was bed-ridden and couldn't feed herself. They claimed dementia, but when I was around to feed her or when she was at home with me and not in the hospital/nursing home...of course she was well fed and PROPERLY fed...guess what? Total recall and Clarity!!! She used to work for the bulk mail center in Atlanta. She prided herself on being able to recall zip codes from anywhere accurately. So I used this as a gauge to know when she was and wasn't really on the tracks. Find something that was important to your parent when they were at the top of their game. Use that to tell when they are lucid. This will also benefit them because it will show them that you still think they got it going on. That is what we all need when things get fuzzy...someone who cares enough to help us hold onto what we know and remember. And make sure your parents get their veggies!!!!

p.s. If you believe that your parent IS NOT demented...you MUST get the doctors to remove this notation from their records while they are in the Hospital or nursing home facility. To wait and try to do it after they get out means that you must go before a judge with witnesses. This involves an attorney and attorney fees as well, and in some cases paying the witnesses for time they may have to take off from work.

Most importantly, involve your church family to pray for your situation.

God bless.

~Susan
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Well I guess were learning now what we could be doing one day to others...I'm solo caretaker of mom and dad...he has dementia. ...mom has her left side not good and the short term memory problem and lashes out on me for childhood problems I gave her...this caretaker is learning alot but stressed out...
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My mom has vascular dementia, she still has a good memory. She remembers every actor/actress on tv. The only thing i noticed is she claims every one in the streets are going to where we going. In other words they're following us every where we go. :(
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I was wondering about my mom...she has a great memory for many years ago yet recent things shes forgetting and has very combative days...the stroke brought out alot of her anger understandably but some silly things set her off too...can she have demintia even with great past memory..
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Dad is 94 and has dementia. I find that if he adheres to his schedule, one that he himself has settled into he fares much better. Food, times he eats, etc all seem to keep him on an even keel. Some days the memory is better than others, but I see that following his daily routine helps immensely. He knows that his memory is slipping so he also makes a routine to write all his upcoming appointments as we make them in a date book. Every night the date book goes upstairs with him, he reviews it and brings it down with him in the morning. I also remind him the day before that we have an appointment. I'm trying to keep him as independent as I can for as long as I can.
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If there is a sudden change in behavior or confusion then she may have something medical going on such as an UTI, pneumonia or some other infection. If you have seen her confusion grow over time, she may have some type of dementia. She would need a full work up from her physician to rule out other medical disorders. I have seen people with dementia be clearer and less confused one day and more confused the next. Many people have 'sun downers' where the confusion increases as the day wears on. You can try an alarming locked medication minder box, make sure to purchase one that has enough slots for meds 3 or 4 times per day. You can fill it weekly. It alarms when it is time to take the next dose of medications and the person is less able to overdose. I'm not near her age, but if I wake up I'm sometimes confused for a few minutes, esp. if I've been dreaming. Given her age it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for her to have some form of dementia. Make sure she gets enough rest, exercise, eats well and takes her meds as prescribed.
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My 87 yo mom has "mild cognitive impairment". Basically, dementia. She has very poor judgement, ie., has a torn Achilles heel and is supposed to walk with someone in the house for safety. I came out of my part of the house to find her walking around...then blamed me for not being there. She is in danger of ripping the tendon again and my husband and I are resigned to just waiting. She has some lucidity, but then will fly into a scary tantrum like last night. The OCD tendencies she's always had are frightening as well as her paranoia. All these things show up differently on different days. Unfortunately, once the next "crisis" hits we will be forced to look at placement. We can not trust her to make sound decisions when we are not there....no support from doctor. She is a hip fracture waiting to happen. This behavior is not easy to deal with...never knowing how the loved one will react. Keep reading and staying in touch here. It has been a sanity saver for me! Hugs and good thoughts
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