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Especially with a non-Alzheimer dementia, long term memory can be great while judgement and social skills and then later, short term memory not so hot. And yes, any infection or any medical issue or any change in routine at all can cause a tailspin. It is not so much that the dementia comes and goes, but that the ability to cope varies with the situation. When a non-demented person feels crummy, they might be moody or tired but recognize it for what it is and compensate or call in sick; the person with dementia just feelss there is something bad going on and may not even realize it is with them and not with the rest of the world. One of the things that enabled me to realize that Mom would not be safe to return home and live alone again was simply that she would so quickly or unpredictably have a bizarre delusion or get agitated and combative from any minor infection. Some meds can make it worse or better too; my mom had hallucinations that got better after coming off Cymbalta and using just Tylenol and Neurontin for arthritis and neuropathic pain she was having.
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I agree with Lindaz that dementia doesn't come and go, but symptoms can be different from one day to the next or even one moment to the next. Diagnosis is best, of course. Then you have a place to start.

Please keep reading the advice from the wonderful community. People do understand what you're going through.
Carol
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Mama is 90 almost 91 yo now and her dementia is pretty advanced. Doctors have diagnosed her with Alzheimers as well. We are at a place where she is mostly quiet all the time. She has been totally bedfast now for over a year and I have been her sole caregiver, other than the bathing aid that hospice provides three times a week. They have told me they can come daily if I need it...for me right now I kind of need that time with her and when I bathe her I sing to her and whereas she used to look at me and smile, she just looks at me now, rarely shows emotion, quite often seems to not be so sure of who I am but then she will have a few brighter moments and yet it is so fleeting...I feel lost...I miss her so much and she is right here....Mama has been such a sweet loving funny lady all her life an how I miss that person. I love her then and now, but the helplessness I feel is almost numbing...
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Wow I wondered about if my mom had demintia but thought to myself she has such a great memory of all past things from years ago but seems to forget about recent stuff...with being very combative at times...
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Chimonger........about your elderly friend.....my dad's diete consists of cereal, banana, blueberries, milk and coffee cake for breakfast. Lunch is a few Nestle Crunch bars and dinner every night is a tuna salad sandwich and more coffee cake. During the day he consumes 4 or 6 oz cans of Pepsi. No amount of coaxing will get him to change his diet. His blood work is decent. Pre-diabetic but protein level is good, etc. I figure if he's made it to 94, let him eat what he wants when he wants. Doc would like to see him eat better, but he won't have Meals on Wheels come in and the times I took him over a plate of food I made, he put it in the fridge and threw it out. I have to pick my battles with him, like a child. But, in the long run, he's happy and that's what matters.
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Lucysmom, that's not too bad of a diet, really!!
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Nope, I don't think it's too bad at all. My feeling is that he's happy, he's fed, his blood work results are pretty much normal, therefore, I won't rock the boat. At 94, 95 in October, he can eat what he wants. I think even if at some time, the blood shows diabetes, I still won't modify the diet all that much. Maybe take away a few candy bars and switch to Diet Pepsi, but he'll still retain his diet and his routine.
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Lucysmom501, I managed to wean my dad off Coke by encouraging him to take his pills twice a day with a small glass of low sugar juice (Healthy Balance) or water. I drink with him. We also keep a few bottles of Ensure in the refrigerator. He never asks for Coke any more and I think he is better hydrated.
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