My future MIL moved in 5 months ago when her husband passed away. She stays in the adjacent bedroom upstairs and the only bathroom is upstairs. I work 45 hrs a week. My fiancee works for himself so spends alot of time caregiving. MIL is walked downstairs at 8:30 a.m., fiancee makes her breakfast (which she could do herself), fiancee assists her to go back upstairs to the bathroom or brings a potty downstairs if he is gone awhile. Anyway, I ask him to have her back up to her room by the time I get home (5:30 pm). I'm exhausted, want alone time with him and get tired of her dirty looks (she gets jealous). He thinks this is 'rude' and feels guilty. Am I selfish?? She has a sofa, table and bed in her large room!! She has a phone, radio and has been offered TV. I want to run away so often because I'm in my 40's and feel intruded upon...I can't even talk at my normal tone because I feel she is always listening. I feel she doesn't appreciate the sacrifices being made or the fact that she gets to live with her son.
You need to put yourself in your MIL's shoes, see and feel what she is going through.
See your Fiance on the weekends when you are fresh and ready to handle everything. On the week days, you work, and you need to rest so you can go back to work again the next morning. So, go home. Maybe one night go out with fiance and his mother. The rest of the days, rest up at your house, no added noise, etc....RELAX..