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My mother in law is 87 and suffers from dementia, agitation, bipolar, anxiety and paranoia. On a good day before she started getting worse we went to see a lawyer and my wife became POA both medically and financially now because we were 2 days late in getting her laundry to her, she became mad with my wife and changed her sister who is also in her 80's to become her POA, my mother in laws sister is not capable of handling her bills on time, etc. is also not all there in her head, so now what do we do?? We want to maintain her bills and keep them paid in a timely manner, she is in a nursing home now and got mad at me just over not getting her laundry to her. What do I do? I thought a POA had to be created by a lawyer?? which in my case it was - - State of Ohio - That is how we legally did it? Also I am now trustee over her estate, etc. when my mother in law passes away does any of that supersede the POA? All of this is driving my wife and I crazy and many of restless nights. The rest of the family is only out to get her money once she passes away, we are doing all of the work. What can we do or guide us in the right direction please???

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You need to hire an eldercare attorney immediately and explain the situation to him. Your MIL was diagnosed with dementia prior to her changing the POA. She may well be considered impaired enough not to be legally competent. The eldercare attorney is likely to recommend that your wife get guardianship of your MIL. The guardianship will override the POA and will enable you to have complete control of your MIL's estate and finances as well as her care. The ONLY thing that could break guardianship is if you commit abuse and you're not going to abuse her, so there is nothing the rest of the family can do to get control of your MIL or her estate once you have guardianship. It costs about $10,000 to do this, but the money for that can be taken as expenses from your MIL's estate. Good luck with this unfortunate situation.
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It's very unfortunate that the POA was changed to your mother-in-law's sister, but if that was done and witnessed by a Notary Public, it's likely legal. You may, however, be able to override it with the help of an elder law attorney since this was done later in your mother-in-law's decline.

Any POA dies with the person, so her sister will have no rights if you retain the place of trustee over her estate.

I'm telling you what I understand but I'm not an expert in this area, and state laws vary, as well, so you may want to talk with an attorney. I hope that you can regain the POA for your mother-in-law's sake. Good luck,
Carol
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