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My mom was officially diagnosed with dementia last summer. She also suffers from anxiety continually, like every 10 minutes or even less she is telling me she has anxiety. She needs a pill. Unfortunately she got addicted to different benzos. Her previous doctor knowing this was a problem did not seem to care. His words were at her age "I don't care if she is addicted." Yeah but he did not have to deal with her being so sedated she would drag her feet and slur her words, starting fires while cooking forgetting something was on the stove.


She was very out of it one day and fell down the stairs, chipped her tooth and hurt her leg. Her doctor was not in so we saw someone else and I take it as a blessing because he listened to my concerns about her abusing Ativan and then Clonazepam. We weened her off. It has been a nightmare. Tried several different medications which she had bad reactions to. The past month he prescribed her medical cannabis - CBD oil twice a day. It calms her but she continually complains about anxiety. I don't know how much it is anxiety, how much it is she is bored and needs a pill, how much of it is withdrawal from the clonazepam, how much of it is no short term memory - the dementia - so she just keeps repeating herself. The anxiety is real to her and she wants a pill.


She had a routine every night like clockwork she would hunt for pills (I had to lock them away). She'd take whatever she could find - even vitamins. I associate a lot of that with her sundowning but now the doctor wants to give her THC in the evening to help her sleep. She doesn't allow me to sleep always wanting a pill, always about her anxiety. I am lucky to get a couple of hours of sleep a night. I feel helpless because I don't know how to help her.

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They "the professionals" are telling me it takes a bit of time for it to build up in her system and they are starting her off on a low dose. When I was younger I have to admit I smoked weed but it wasn't for me. It made me a little paranoid. My brother on the other hand really enjoyed it and still does...

Marijuana affects different people different ways, as you yourself have noted (actually even prescription drugs can sometimes do this - I have a problem with Heparin, which should reduce platelets and therefore help prevent clotting, yet my platelets shot sky-high!) Certainly you can continue to try this and see if it makes any difference. The other issue that might happen is once she is "used" to it, it might also lose effectiveness and she'll need more.

I was also going to suggest using a placebo. If you go with a real placebo (I see potentially some offered online), I would probably prefer to get it through a pharmacy/doctor Rx, so you know what is in it! You can put these in one of those weekly med minders (no need to use a locking device, since it isn't real meds.) Since they are not real meds, it won't hurt if she takes too many. Same thing if you can find something benign, like little candies or safe vitamins (don't use multivitamins. Some, like A, can be detrimental if too much is taken.)

On the flip side, have any other anti-anxiety medications been considered? I am not a big fan of medications, but sometimes they are a necessary evil. Mom doesn't take Lorazepam all the time, but 1) it does NOT take time to build up in the system, 2) can be a very very low dose and 3) works in about 15 minutes on mom. She does not get this all the time. They ordered it when she moved into MC, but that was a one-time Rx only. The next time was during UTI and treatment (meek quiet mild mannered mom became a ranting raving monster who needed to get out and set off all the alarms trying to get out!) Her episodes during the UTI only flared up later in the day, like sundowning. Within about 15 minutes of taking this, she would calm down. She wasn't doped up, it was just enough to take the "edge" off.

The doctor we had then took the authorization away and I had a running argument with her about it. One of her reasons was it can be a fall risk... well, so can walking! The only tumbles mom had were well after the initial meds when she moved in and long before the UTI. No medication involved in those tumbles. She uses a walker now, so falls are less likely. A very minimal dose, given as needed, was better for her and everyone else than allowing her to go on these rampages!

Hope you can get it all worked out!
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He's right - the physician, but she could see a neurologist.
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SO GIVE HER A PILL!! OR MAYBE 2 OR MORE -  but give her vitamins, separate vitamins like D & C & E, a bit of glucosamine [for joint health], etc & the more either colourful or more like her old ones the better - put up guards like only 1 of this a day or this one 2 X a day so she thinks these are all Rx & she will be content

1 area you didn't address that maybe you should think of is that after years of taking the pills she is into a routine/habit about doing so - so try to see it from her point ... she used to take pills going to bed but now she isn't but that leads to her anxiety - with dementia there is no arguing so now say to her 'oh! here's you bedtime medications .... thank you for reminding me to give them to you' .... this validates her concerns + fulfills her routine + basically she crosses that off her list of the 'to do's she has in her mind so she will be more relaxed - FYI make up some reason why she can't do her meds herself

We need to remember whenever possible to validate concerns our LO [with dementia] has so that they will remain as calm as possible ..... this isn't just for them but for the caregivers too as a calm person = a happy person = happier caregivers - this isn't time to do payback[for past transgressions]  because that comes back & bites you real bad [but if you have a martyr complex this isn't for you anyway] -

Remember if LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONs THEN MAKE LEMONADE - yeh I know it is hard but if I could do it then you can too as I took [singlehandedly] care of dad until he died at 94 & mom until she died at 92 & I was 69 which is the age that some are posting about for their parents!!! [a bit creepy ... if you know what I mean]
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If possible, get the lowest dose (.05) of ativan. and give them to her yourself. There are other non addictive drugs she could take to sleep and for anxiety. Good luck.
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Ask her Doctor if they still prescribe placebo pills. They contain no medicine but look like the real thing. We had them for my Dad. It kept him happy.
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Gabapaenten seemed to help my aunt a great deal with anxiety related to dementia. she took 300mg. it is calming but not sedating.
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ANY kind of psychotropic drug which includes marijuana will increase risk for falls. How about getting your loved one outdoors and walk them with you besides them instead, and use appropriate walkers.
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Just a few quick points:

- Repetition is normal for dementia patients. It takes patience from the caregivers, but soon enough we can get adjusted at saying the same things each minute. I have found ways to make Mom laugh and get her out of the loop (once in a while :-)

- CBD is a God-gift for anxiety, but you have to get the right strain, and the correct dosage (in mg) as the responses are still quite subjective to each person's system. More than likely, she may need 800mg and up.

- Taking a ratio of THC/CBD at night does help with sleep.

- CBD/THC meds also come in pills, so you might want to give her those at night, to support her need for a pill. (it will take an hour to go through digestive system to take effect.) Then, give her the tincture during the day time as it works more directly in the system.

- If I were you (and I have been there), I would also consider taking CBD for yourself. It will help you greatly to feel grounded in your own Self and a little bit less frazzled.

Many blessings!
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Some kind of a harmless placebo, preferably something healthy, that you can give her anytime she wants a pill.
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Robyn918 Jun 2019
If the anxiety has a physical root then the problem is real and not helped by a placebo. But on the vitamin line, there is Calm powered magnesium that can calm down a person's body at night.
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Since 2011. She was hellish.

Since 2013 we have tried CBD and THC and 1:1 mix. We read that CBD softened the psychotropic affects of the THC. So we experimented with ratios.
By 2018 we dialed in no CBD We use Full Plant Extract Oil
(Rick Simson Oil, RSO)
10 mg calms the chaos for 6-8 hours. She is happy and alert.

The oil is an edible. Edibles sometimes do not take affect for a while after delivery, depending on the digestion system at the time.
Christy has seizures that require instant relief. We shotgun full THC into a Cpap hose and mask because she was never a smoker. The length of hose collects, slows, and softens the smoke. She never coughs. We experimented with CBD THC ratios with the smoke, also, no to CBD. Full high % THC for dementia.
The reports are true Sativa for daytime, Indica for night and the hybrids do really work in the middle.
This past year, it was consistent. We know the dose and times and the industry is developing standards.
Christy is never hellish and always a joy. She is much easier to care for without the combativeness. As I type this the person that used to whine, whimper, growl, scream, is sweetly laughing.
We, the family, laugh much and often exclaim "Thank God for the plant"
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SKgirl Jun 2019
Thank you EllerySir I posted this yesterday but foolishly deleted my account but then realized how this forum has helped.

It is encouraging to read how Christy is doing. It gives me hope. I
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How about a Senior Day Program geared towards ALZ?  My mom attends one daily.  This will give you a break and allow her to spend time with others.  Make sure they have a wide variety of activities as well as clients with different levels of the disease so she'll find someone she can relate to.  I think the idea of "candy" pills is a great idea.  If you can find a candy store in the mall, they'll have a wide variety of candy and you might be able to find something that will work.  You can save one of her old bottles and put them inside.  If she mentions them being different just tell her the makers changed the way they look. 

Oh and someone mentioned to me that they were told cannabis makes ALZ/Dementia worse.  She was at a seminar and they said this.  I don't know if it's true but I wanted to put that out there.
All my best!
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SKgirl Jun 2019
The senior program is a great plan. Thank you. She doesn't want to go though. Part of it is she is up all night and doesn't want to get up in the morning. She was a nurse and worked permanent nights so maybe that is why she is a night hawk. It is always a fight to get her up in the mornings. Any ideas how to convince her that it would be good for her to be involved in a seniors group. It would be good for us both.

Thank you for sharing about the seminar. It is a concern. I am not sure the cannabis oil is working. She doesn't complain about wanting a pill as much when she takes it. She is more relaxed. I have timed it to be about 2 hours. They "the professionals" are telling me it takes a bit of time for it to build up in her system and they are starting her off on a low dose. When I was younger I have to admit I smoked weed but it wasn't for me. It made me a little paranoid. My brother on the other hand really enjoyed it and still does so me in my hopeful thinking thought maybe he and her would be similar and it would work on her. He is more into the recreational THC and her prescription CBD. We are in Canada by the way and the medical cannabis where I live is all kind of new.
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The hunt for pills, could you maybe give her "candy meds", like skittles or some similar small pill shaped candy? She's so 'used to taking pills' that the thought of NOT taking something, may be causing her anxiety, some what like NOT having a cigarette. Just thinking that maybe replacing the REAL pills with FAKE CANDY pills, may help.
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SKgirl Jun 2019
I posted this question last night and then deleted my account thinking do I have time for this but I need this forum so here I am starting again today.

Your "candy meds" I think maybe a great solution. As I was sitting here my mom is asking me for a pill. She says she need something for this anxiety. She even ask for a B vitamin. I have to chuckle at that. I think to her it doesn't matter what she takes just as long as it is a pill and I get like not having a cigarette so it makes sense to try to appease her with the candy pills. Thank you!! I am going to try a find a candy that will work.
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Thank you for the advice. She is 80.

I am learning more and more as each day goes by. Last summer her doctor diagnosed her with dementia but I didn't want to accept it. I was making myself believe it was the meds that were the problem but in my heart I knew it was more. Recently, the end of April, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

UTI has be treated and they did a follow up and it is good for right now. She has had three in the past little while.

It is tough where we are to get a good doctor... the good are not accepting new patients and the ones that are seem to have bad reviews. Homecare has been suggested to me so I can get some respite. That is in the works now and also trying to get her into a day program. Lexapro is one she hasn't tried so I will check into that and I think you are right about the cannabis oil.
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Beekee Jun 2019
Wellbutrin is antidepressant and antianxiety. My mother takes 300 mg per day. She is 81 with dementia.
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You can learn, and you came to the right place for support.
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In your mother's case, changing to that new doctor might help. Ask the doctor if she can be admitted to get supervision in her meds, become stabilized, and try
other meds such as newer antipsychotic shown to also treat anxiety. Lexapro comes to kind, but others will have better knowledge of how their Moms do on these meds.
It may be, that she is so sensitive to all meds, even the cannabis oil will not work, imo.

She may he having sundowners.
She may need a dementia drug.
What is her age, and what stage is she in dementia?
Edit: Your profile says Alzheimers.
Be sure the UTI is treated and cleared, follow up. This can account for many behaviors.

Sedating and doping up someone elderly is not a good way to go, so keep trying,
It was so smart of you to get her off those meds. Unless you know if she is in the later stages, and may require more care than you can provide.
Maybe a Geriatric Neurologist, specialty.

And, get some help to come in, for yourself. You cannot keep this up without sleep.
Others will be along to help you, and support you, so take some deep breaths.
No one can care for someone 24/7 without affecting their own health.
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