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As you all no My mom is back home and will someone please explain to me what is wrong with me I feel like a person that is being wipped by someone making them to do something they can no longer do.I never said what going to now on here before but as far back as I remember always have felt my mother did not like me a lot there are things I do not understand that my mom has done with no explanation. When little good childhood teenager kinda was not around my parents and my mother was super close to her Mom and they were always together,don't get me wrong by saying faults of Mom I was no perfect child and had my own faults.Now when I was in eighth grade I got very sicl having five convulsions in one day due to avm in brain which we did not no of till this happened Make long story short had issues till almost 30 then had brain operation and now that part of me is all ok course Mom took care of me a lot running to doctors.Then I'm not proud of this but got pregnant baby didn't happen and I was only 17 forgive please don't make judgement I'm ashamed of that, but afterwards my Mom took me to her doctor and had my tubes cut and tied so someone made sure I would never have a child. As time goes on I have always felt did not like me other reasons also a lot more,but now been home 2days this morning was ok then we were talking and yes I know she gets confused but a lot of times she does no what she's saying.Made very clear to me today that reason she fights me on going in a home is because she does not want me to have or live in her home and I'm sorry cannot seem to self talk myself where aaw she is sick due to things that has happened so for me just tells me again she does not like me or husband so please tell me what is wrong with me whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do I keep trying and mess myself up and be in misery why can't I be normal like other people in my situation so here again not getting along today screaming if called anyone all these social workers and hospitals gonna think I'm really nuts Please will you give me feedback

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Sandy, it sounds like you are having a rough time trying to be a caregiver for your mother, please note that not all of us are cut out to this type of work... I know I am not. Please read this article that I found on Aging Care website: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/not-everyone-cut-out-to-be-a-caregiver-162192.htm Hopefully it might make you feel a bit better.
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Sandy. Feedback: SLOW DOWN!! Breathe! And listen to what people are saying to you on here through your many, very lengthy posts...1. get psych help for yourself; your thoughts are racing and scrambled and stressed out beyond what is healthy for any human being. 2. feel free to get your mom into facility care; it is NOT so much what is "wrong" with you as what is wrong with her, and the fact is that all you are going through out of guilt, confusion, regrets and fear will not improve her care or make her one iota happier.

There are groups who will help any woman who had an abortion and regrets it - look up Rachel's Vineyard for one. The things you regret, no matter how many or how few years ago, should NOT be a reason you can't love yourself and give yourself a better life. You do not deserve or need to be hated on by Mom or anybody, you deserve a better life and need to find grace and forgiveness. Stop the self-torture, and stop the dumping on you by others as well - it serves no purpose except to keep you miserable and confused...and feeling whipped.
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I agree, slow down, breathe. It takes two to tango, and I don't know why it's always the girl's fault that she gets pregnant......
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Sandy, my feedback is that you are from a very dysfunctional family situation. This is Not Your Fault.

You need to heal. You need to learn how lovable you are, and accept yourself as a uniquely wonderful human being.

You need to stop being a hands-on caregiver for your mother, with whom you have a very complicated relationship.

All of that is hard work, and you deserve help. Find a counselor to help you through this.
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the only things in life that you can try to fix are things that are within your control . many things arent . those things you just try to learn from and let em go .
if your mom is kinda nuts id suggest you read all you can about dementia and end of life . its the scariest walk of your mothers lifetime and she needs someone to take the walk with her . you have to educate yourself on these aforementioned subjects to be able to do that .
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Oh this is so stressful, have you considered meds for anxiety? If this goes too far I'm afraid the seizures will kick up again. See the MD.
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Sandy, there is nothing wrong with you. It sounds to me that with all that has been on your plate with your husband and with your mother that you are burnt out and crashing into the ashes. I only see two solutions to this whole thing.

1. Get your mother into a care facility.

2. Get yourself some help by seeing a therapist.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
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Have you read Coping with my Difficult Older Parent?

I think that you need to do whatever it is to distance yourself from a manipulative parent, that forced you to undergo surgery, so that you could never have children. I have never heard of this. I am 61. I had to have the most girls ever in one graduating class to get pregnant. The pill was available. I will with hold what I would like to say about your mother.
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You need to take care of you.

Your mom can get care in a facility geared to her health needs. And she may or may not be happy with that either but that's the way it goes!

God Loves you and forgives you - you need to cut yourself some slack and move on. Learn to love yourself and experience joy in life. Please find a counselor for yourself and make plans to heal your body and soul.

God Bless you and know that I will keep you in my prayers.
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