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Yes, the durable has powers to sell, all that etc. Dad has mild dementia. And it def has gotten worse than when first diagnosed.



Have brought it up before but the answer is no,constantly doesnt want to do it. its a trophy, thats my car, etc.



They have not sat in it since six years ago. They are wheelchair bound. Although can move one side. They have not driven since six years ago.



Its too much upkeep, and also still paying monthly and have been over 1000 per month to keep it.NOONE IS USING IT, NOONE CANT. its a TWO SEATER SPORTS CAr when it shoudlve been sold in the first place. i AM TIRED



furthermore been taking care of him, alongside my little sister that i had to take in as well plus my own family with NO HELP. its too much. and its time for assisted living. im trying not to cry while righting this. I AM TIRED. The last straw was when they called my 7 year old a b*** and "get your big fat juicy self off that for it goes flat tire" , their was a moment where a diaper bag had picture of little 4 year old girl, and was like thats a cute cute cute girl, SO MUCHHHHH i could be here fore days sorry for the rant its just about a car. im just tired. im just tired, im ready for a change. therefore this would help us start that move towards a new journey... moving , put the money back that been losing for NO REASON to help pay for everything to afford monthly expenses



furthermore
If i were to sell it, whats the worse they could do if they say or try to challenge i didnt allow that?
Can i sell it regardless if their not agreeing?



thank you for even responding

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Depends if you are in charge now of ALL FINANCIAL DECISIONS.
If you are, given your documents say you can buy and sell things, yes, you can sell it.
Take your POA to the DMV and ask them how to go about this in your own state.
You have taken on POA and activated it because your parents are not now capable of good financial decisions, and this is but one example. This care will soon be worthless and have to be hauled off. Let you father know it is being sold and why and that there is no argument about it and that you understand it is one more loss in a whole world of loss for them, but that this is how it has to be to prevent deterioration of the car, theft of the care, costs of the car for no reason.
Be certain, of course, that the money from sale goes to their accounts, which I assume you are managing, and that a good paper trail is there.

I am assuming your father has no good window seat on this car and won't be witness to all involved in its sale. I hope not, anyway.
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lflowers20 Apr 17, 2024
even if they dont or wouldnt have agreed? crazy part a while back when it was brought up, they were saying i dont know if i told you the right decision but the answer is still no
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If your DPOA is active now, you can sell your father's car and any of his other assets too. You may or may not have to prove at some point that you were acting in his best financial interests by selling his car or other assets. This only happens if someone like a family member accuses you of not administering his funds appropriately.

If the plan is to send him to AL (and it probably should be)then liquidating an asset for cash is in his best interests because the AL will have to be paid for.

Sell the car. Then put him in AL and get everyone else out of your house.
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strugglinson Apr 18, 2024
even if you may not need the cash from it right now, sellling it to stop the $1000 a month upkeep expense could well be argued to be an appropriate course of action in managing his funds/ estate.
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Leave the car alone. It’s not the problem.

Place your parents out of your home.
If you and your family are living with your parents, please move. You are responsible for your daughter. This is her childhood.

There are posters on this forum who were raised with bickering grandparents in the home. It will forever scar your daughter. She would be better off in day care after school while you work 8 to 5.

Yes their words were hurtful but you are in charge and your number one responsibility is to your child.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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You need to get them out of your house immediately for your child’s sake before she gets scarred mentally for life. You should be FAR more concerned about that than a car.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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Get your child or children away from anyone who’s abusively calling them names and lashing out at them, immediately. Sell the car using the POA, use the money from it to provide caregivers. If the person who the car belongs to is being unreasonable and is no longer capable of good decision making, this is exactly the time for using POA to make the good decisions like selling the car. I’d do it with the least talk, discussion, and watching it happen possible. Car, what car? But most importantly, I’d remove myself and my children from an abusive environment today
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Tell them ur taking it in for a tune up. Then sell it. Don't have people come to the house.

It maybe time to find a nice AL to place them.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If they are wheelchair bound will they even notice the car is gone if you don't say anything? Are both parents listed as owners of the car? If so I would suggest having a copy of a Drs letter for each of them on hand stating that they have been diagnosed with Dementia and therefore their POAs are active (you can give those letters to whomever you sell the car to and also to the DMV). Then I would sell the car and monitor the mailbox to make sure your parents don't see any related paperwork that might tick them off. Tell them the car is in the shop for service, and keep telling them that until you get them placed somewhere. Good luck!
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Reply to MarCar603
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Ssounds like you are being to burn out. You need to find a way to take a break. Call some one for help before anything sad/bad happens.
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Reply to Ronnyj
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If the conditions of being POA have been met and you have it then yes, you can sell it. 

I have my Mom’s car and if I decided to sell it, I would deposit the money into her account that also lists myself and my brother and then I would document very clearly how that money was used for HER. HER only. 

Financial POA is to act on behalf of the person and to conduct matters in their financial interest. So use it if you have it and it's in the best interest of your parents.

I don't understand the comment on putting the money back that you've been losing. Do you mean using the sale of the vehicle to pay yourself back?
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Reply to Sha1911
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After 6 years I'd be surprised if it started, dead battery, low tires? You obviously have a plan whether they like it or not. Like many have said, take the title and POA papers to the DMV,from there it gets put in your name and then you can sell it,clear legal title. That,too,is something you need to keep on file for financial purposes as POA. You ARE going through the burnout stage,the fact you're in tears as you write says you're facing the fact of what is totally necessary and inevitable,you're doing the right thing! You're not going to be of any help to anyone if you're not taking care of yourself first! It's not selfish, it's survival. AL is the best thing you can do and the car can't go with. You just take a picture, frame it up nicely and say that's the best you can do. You haven't said anything about AL yet? When you're ready, then the car will be more acceptable. Many here have been the only caregiver in the same situation, lots of hands(family) but no help, they will, only if they want, don't count on it. You are not alone, you've come to the right place.
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Reply to JuliaH
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lflowers20: Sell the auto. Also, ensure that the 7 year old and the 4 year old are not subjected to that abuse.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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You can only sell the car if they are deemed mentally incompetent of making decisions. Get them evaluated by their doctor for mental competency. Once deemed (get it written into each one's chart and get copies), then you may handle their finances.
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Omg, I’m so sorry. My Mom calls me fat and makes mean remarks all the time. Don’t sleep on my couch in the Den, you might break it. Really, I’m the only one helping. She had signs of dementia 85 years old. I’m tired too. Also, she’s bedridden and I have to to everything. She can only afford 16 hrs of private pay care a week. It’s draining mentally physically. Im going for guardianship, so I can get her out of her house! Sell it and use the funds for her care. I don’t know how long this is going to go on.
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BurntCaregiver May 12, 2024
Put her in a nursing home. No house or inheritance is worth letting abuse take up one moment of your life.
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My siblings and I have a 94 year old father who lashed out at me 2 weeks ago by hitting me in the head with his cane. Thankfully, my sister witnessed and took video which the police now have. Due to his age, it is unlikely the state will press charges even though the police listed the case as domestic battery.

To make matters worse, the state forced him to take a driving test, which he failed a few days ago. I'm certain he failed as I entered his license number into the DMV system and it came up SUSPENDED. Imagine my surprise (perhaps not) when I saw him driving just yesterday! Our family is at our wits end. Our town even has a FREE taxi service which will take people over 65 to all their appointments - including the grocery store 6 days a week.

What now? Do we call the police or report him to his insurance company?
Please don't suggest we go to his house and remove the car. Now that he's become violent (he has always been verbally abusive) we are not willing to take that risk.
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BurntCaregiver May 12, 2024
Wellington,

What do you think? If a child is being harmed, an animal being tortured, or some other heinous crime being committed would you question whether or not the police should be called? Would you hesitate yourself to call them?

I don't think you would. Yet you are allowing a violent, abusive 92 year-old who not only physically assaulted you, but also lost his driver's license because he's so out-of-it with dementia that the state had to cancel it to continue on whatever rampage he feels like because you won't call the cops.

What the hell is wrong with you and your siblings?

If the old fool gets behind the wheel and causes an accident or kills someone how will you and your siblings live with youselves having let it happen because no one even tried to prevent it? Simply picking up a phone and calling the insurance company or going down to the police station to tell them what's going on is too much for the lot of you to handle?


If you and your siblings cannot literally remove the car which if you were serious about doing you could, you can certainly still disable it. Someone needs to quietly go over there some night when he's sleeping and cut all the tires. That won't make a sound.

So let him kill or seriously injure someone because he "lashed out" at you and hit you.

Please do the community he lives in a favor and go to the police and contact APS. Tell them a violent yet vulnerable elder with serious dementia who lost their license is driving around and assaulting people with his cane. They will take action. Then get him put in a locked memory care facility. Do whatever you have to do to get conservatorship or let the state get it to make that happen.
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I went to our car club meeting this morning, and there are plenty of members who would say “its a trophy, that's my car, etc”. That’s if they were asked. So stop asking. If you have the right to sell it under the durable POA, just sell it. Case closed.
PS Be grateful that it's only one car - car club members usually have more, including one lunatic who has 11 Cortinas. And he's not even a dementia candidate.
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