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I have that fear. I would not put what any of us are dealing with on anyone.


I find myself often running to dark humor. Because you have to find it somewhere to keep sane!

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No. Have alot of worries but that exact one is not amongst them. We are very different. I don't predict that everything will be wonderful as I age but I know I will not be my mother. And I hope I remember how difficult it can be. For one thing my children will never have to inherit the less than ideal way to put it very mildly the items I save. I also am not saving everything I ever had,did,wrote, received etc. and threw in a box that doesn't even seal. That's just for starters.
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My God , no. Never. I am an only child, so is my daughter. My mother has lived with us since before my daughter was born. I have learned from my mistakes. I will not ever be a burden to my daughter. I’m not saying there won’t be a time, that I’m not capable of caring for myself. I have long term care, a will, all the paper work I can possibly have now to assist my daughter in placing me when and if that time comes. In addition, she and I have discussed the future many times. She knows in her heart , I never ever want to be a burden. I hope she carries that through in her life with her future children
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Terrified.

Although my kids tell me repeatedly I am NOTHING like her. Still.

ONCE my DH said "OMG, you are acting just like MY mother" and that was about the meanest thing he could have ever said. I LOST IT.

He hasn't brought that nugget out for 40 years.
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I do fear it, even though my mindset is completely different from Mom's. Sometimes I "hear her" when I talk and my blood runs cold!

Yikes.
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Better question: Are you afraid you won't be as wise and brave as your parent when you age?
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2019
I get that. I do think about that.
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I hope I am self limiting in that regard. I used to live a travel widely and not exactly safely lifestyle. I will get back to that the second this phase of my life ends. Even if it's in another 20 years. Many people who don't travel don't realize it, but there are plenty of 80 year old backpackers. I will join their ranks. Sooner or later, I won't be able to grip a rope tight enough, hold my breath under a capsized boat long enough or fight off a freezing river 1000 feet underground before hypothermia takes it's toll. Either one of those or many other things will happen long before I get too bad. Problem solved.
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SnoopyLove Feb 2019
LOL, Needtowashhair! I love your attitude.
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No, because our parents are gone. However, I do worry about becoming my wife. Every time I forget something, I worry that I am starting my own journey down this road.
It really scares me. I hope I have taken some serious steps in providing for the both of us if I do have to give up and move into a care facility.
Our lawyer is the only one I have to turn to for the help needed. Which would primarily consist of getting us set up in a care home and having us made a ward of the state.
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freqflyer Feb 2019
OldSailor, I feel that way, too. I honestly think if my parents didn't go through the different phases of memory loss, I wouldn't be as super sensitive about it now when I forget something.
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I'm not afraid of that. I have always been VERY different from my parents and at this stage in my life, I don't think that will change. lol My parents still look at me at times and shake their heads....they can't figure out how I became who I am....even as a child, I would debate them and quote sources. lol
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I would be so blessed.
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When I read this my first thought was, oh I hope not. I don't want a hairy chest and a bald head. I'm a girl!

I think just asking that question is answer enough, my parents never look at their actions or how they effect others. I think I would drown myself if I woke up and saw either of my parents in my mirror. I have spent my entire life living completely differently than them and it would kill me to know it was all for naught.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2019
I feel like I am so like my mom in some ways and very different in others. A combination, I suppose.
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