He enjoys sitting in pajamas, drinking tea and talking to people. I, his wife, am trying to get him to change clothes but he is against it. He also doesn't like to take showers, but I believe that is because he doesn't have the energy for that. He lost the interest in clothes he used to have. Any ideas?
* Does he live at home with you?
* In a facility? / ind living or assisted living
* Is he diagnosed as being clinically depressed
* What are his disabilities / fears
* Does he have hallucinations? / fear of water / falling ?
* Will he listen to you? do what you ask?
* Does he understand you?
* Is he / does he want to be sociable / with people outside of you or immediate family members?
* Hygiene is a major concern - how are you addressing this?
- What are you doing now / how are you keeping him clean?
Being in pajamas isn't 'cute' to me as some express here. It is a sign of something else - how he is functioning mentally / cognitively - and issues that need to be addressed.
It is common, from my understanding that some people with dementia DO NOT want to shower and may be very resistant. If this is the situation, do a bed bath, or are you? I understand you may be addressing your question to others here who have dealt with or currently dealing with this concern/ issue. I have not although I tend to always consider the level of dementia which determines how best to interact / work with a person.
Gena / Touch Matters
I felt very down when I realized my husband could no longer tell or care about social niceties ("mild" decline), yet as quick as ever to find fault in me and others. I have had to refuse to take him to restaurants if he smelled or was dirty. Others may disagree, but for me, two battles at a time -- inappropriately groomed husband and societal blow-back to his state by servers and other diners -- is more than I can take, and I don't want to put others into uncomfortable positions, either.
Pajamas are great!
I remember my parents telling us that we could wear our pajamas to go to the ‘drive in’ movies with them.
We thought it was so cool to be able to wear our pajamas to the movies!
Later on, mom told us that we always fell asleep on the ride home and that daddy would carry us from the car and place us in our beds to sleep.
My daughters had the best time at their preschool for ‘pajama day.’ Even their teachers wore pajamas!
I took our children to the library every weekend. I mentioned how much fun my daughters had on ‘pajama day’ to our children’s librarian. She decided to have a special ‘pajama day’ story hour for the kids. They loved it!
Tell your guests that they are welcome to join your husband in wearing pajamas! Okay, obviously I am being facetious. Seriously, if this is the least of your worries, then you are extremely fortunate. Please allow him to enjoy being in his pajamas.
When my husband reaches the age of your husband, I seriously doubt that I would be concerned about him lounging around in his pajamas. Actually, I don’t think I would be concerned now if he wanted to hang out in his pajamas.
Or like that bunny rabbit pajamas Ralphies aunt sent him for Christmas. Did you see how fast he scampered to get out of those?
PJs That have a tuxedo print look!!
Then buy him PJ’s that look like SUPERMAN, THOR!!
buy his n her PJ’s
Give him TUESDAY’s PJ DAY!!
And Saturdays, of course..
and if you’re up to it.. have Superhero day!! Pull out your superhero PJ’s..
Tell him he can’t wear them until he takes a shower.
Is your bathroom set up with safety Grab Bars? Shower chair, hand wand shower head?
Get some adult cleansing wipes they’re better than nothing
BUT - he must stay clean. You can hire people who specialize in giving showers, and they'll come to your home to do it.
Sure wish you luck in finding a look you can both live with.
His age is irrelevant. If he is comfy in his pajamas, try to accept that this is how he is comfortable.
For going out ….You could buy comfortable lounge pants in a solid black color and t shirts in a different color so they don’t look like pajamas . My friend’s husband wears this all the time as his clothes .
What difference does it make if he wishes to lounge around in his pajamas?
I would be grateful that he is comfortable.
I am quite sure that no one is bothered by him being in his pajamas. They may even wish that they could wear pajamas all day long too!
My late husband ONLY wore pajama pants or sweatpants for the last 10 plus years of his life and as long he was comfortable and happy, so was I.
Like already said, when dealing with the disease of dementia, we must learn to pick our battles, and honestly this is just not one worth fighting.
Elders with AD/dementia hate showers in general, normally bc there is something they're afraid of or bothered by in the shower stall. Falling, the force of the water or the feel of it on their face, being cold, etc. See if you can hone in on what DH is bothered by in the shower and then remedy it for him. Or hire a male aide to shower him once a week and use pre moistened disposable washcloths by Stryker for in between wash ups. Those are the best ones in my opinion.
Best of luck to you navigating this tricky ground.
A friend told me people from her home country start wearing loungewear at 60. I can certainly see the practicalities of elastic waistbands (for ease of toileting quicker) & zippered jackets (for dressing with arthritic shoulders).
I'd avoid the matching beige top & bottoms look myself 😄 but I have seen some older folks in nicer sportswear, track pants/jackets etc. Comfortable & practical. (Trackie dacks as we call them here).
Regarding energy, *energy conservation* becomes important.
Having a seat in the shower can help. Swapping showers with washups at the sink alternate days. Seated dressing can also save energy. Dressing all lower half, then one stand up to pull items up. Even a compromise of one set of clothes for 2 days then a full change? With a 'for company' smart dressing gown/nice cardigan/jacket over the top.