My mum is 84 and lives with my father in Ontario. She has extensive medical issues resulting in her mobility basically becoming zero. My dad has been providing excellent care, however periodically my mum has a fall and my father is simply not strong enough to help her get up - he literally has to call for paramedics to help safely stand / seat her. It would be wonderful if our family could find somebody (or a service provider) nearby who can be summoned and "pop in" to help with such instances. Another possibility is to find a live-in caretaker, but I doubt that would fly for a variety of reasons. I'm hoping others have experienced similar challenges, and could offer some advice or insight into a solution. Many thanks in advance for any advice you can provide.
Mom neds to be checked out with each fall for injuries.
Old people fall, no matter where they are.
Has your parents' home been vetted by an OT or PT for safety?
I just don't get what her problem was. I can only assume it had something to do with the covid hospital crunch. The hospital was quite full. In fact, they couldn't accept her at any of the closer hospitals and they sent her to one an hour away.
Once this became too hard, too frequent & frankly, just too much, others were required. By that I mean regular aides & EMS for every fall.
This involving 'non-family' is a major hurdle for many I suspect. (Like it is ok to break the backs of people you are related to but not *strangers*....!?) Eventually, after many threats (& much time on the floor) non-family became more involved. These are now so familiar, they are certainly more friends than strangers 😃.
However, having an aide or caretaker 'on-call' will not work.
What CAN work is an aide visit a few times a week for high fall risk activities eg bathing.
Plus those home OT/PT assessments. Having the right grab rails & equipment can really help. So can practical advice on transfers for your Dad.
Facility placement isn't the only solution that can work for an elder who needs care.
My last long-term caregiver position was for an elderly couple. The husband did all right but the wife was pretty out of it with dementia and had serious mobility issues. Their kids were not local, two of them living out of state. The husband knew I would come if he needed me to. Even if it wasn't my scheduled work hours. He didn't abuse this gift by calling me every five minutes. He understood that something like being out of ice cream wasn't an emergency. He also understood that it was going to be expensive if I had to make a special visit and he paid it without question. His wife would contantly fall while trying to use the portable commode. She'd tip it over and she would end up on the floor with the contents of the commode all over her, the carpeting, and the furniture. After a couple of weeks of daily falls and getting an emergency call while on my other job, I insisted that the commode get put away and the wife go into diapers. She of course got stubborn and refused so I told them both straight. I wasn't going to get her up off the floor again. I wasn't going to clean piss and sh*t out of the carpeting and off the furniture anymore. She went into diapers after that. I remained with them through the husband's illness and death being his caregiver as well as his wife's. Until the family replaced me with cheaper help. The poor old lady what a shame that neglect was.
Anyway, my point being that homecare could be the answer to the poster's mother and the falling. A live-in caregiver may work for them. Paying someone nearby who will come when needed is also a possibility. If they make it worth someone's while, they'll find someone to help when they need it.
I agree with the other writers, it is so so easy for your elderly Father to injure himself trying to do this alone. Please try to convince him to stop. He’ll end up in rehab and then what will your Mother do?
W00dmann, I hope you've read your father the Riot Act about not attempting to lift her? But there are techniques you can look up online for using verbal prompts and (e.g.) items of furniture to help a person get up by herself with minimal physical support.
Try Googling "falls responders" for your parents' local area and see if that sheds any light. And do they have an alarm system - a lifeline pendant, anything like that?
Whether or not to call the paramedics should be considered every time, but there are many instances when it really isn't necessary: the classic is when the person has simply slipped forward from sitting on the front edge of her armchair and is stuck on the floor. Time consuming and frustrating! - but not dangerous.
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