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Dh and I are in the process of moving from our 'starter home' after 42 years into a home that's nearly twice the size. We obviously don't know the meaning of 'downsizing'.


As I have madly worked and worked to make this new place lovely and a 'home' we'll hopefully love--I have been packing up 42 years worth of memories.


Bittersweet, to say the least.


My girls came over yesterday, as I was stalled out with the packing. My back is ruined and I can barely walk. They responded to a text where I told my YD that I could not tend her 4 yo while she went skiing, I was just fried. (I have NEVER said no to tending).


She caught the deeper message that I was in tears and wanting to give up--and in 45 minutes, she and her OS showed up and began packing--and gave my 14 yo Granddaughter the job of making me make choices about what I could keep and what I could toss. It was SO INTERESTING to be on 'that side' of packing. What did I truly need? What did I truly NOT need anymore.


It was very stressful, but also calming to see stuff go out the door to the Goodwill and feel the weight of years of junk leaving.


I know I need to be more kind to my own mother when she allows me to clean for her. Some of the things I was encouraged to toss were things that I thought I needed, and this a.m. I cannot think of a single thing that might be 'missing'.


A wake up call, and interesting to be on this side of the packing/cleaning/moving end. I was stalled with being burnt out as I promised DH he would not have to pack a single box, except for his own clothes. And that's all he's done.


Hoping for a 'smooth move' on Saturday! I am ready to hand the keys to the new owners and take a vacation. The stress has been eating me up!

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Great good luck on the move, MidKid. And kudos on having raised spectacular kids!
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Aw...congrats on your new place. May it bring you joy!
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So happy for you!
Glad you planned on a space big enough to have those grandkids come over!

Congrats!
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Good luck, Midkid. Wishing you great good luck with the move. I have been downsizing for years, and at 80 I am pretty much down to n othing. I both love the look and the ease of cleaning. I have moved the momentos of a lifetime to my daughter already, and I have a few small collections left out of years of junking. We moved DOWN from twice as much space to half as much about 30 years ago and love the ease of that.
I am thrilled you are going to a dream home. I empathize with the back . Old Nurse's back is a given for me and it is easily "put out" at this point with one single move. Usually a bend and reach of a holding too much weight in front of me and too far out from body.
Good luck!
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My husband and I are planning to move later this year now that my caregiving days are done. We're considering having an estate sale and starting completely new in the next house, because we learned after moving to our current house that things bought for one house rarely fit well in the next one.

I'm currently elbows-deep in preparing my parents' house to sell -- 53 years of stuff, plus a lot of antiques that are no longer the "cool" antiques, i.e. older than Midcentury Modern. It'll be interesting to see how it goes, then we'll decide if we want to do that with our own household.
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Thanks for sharing this. I struggle very deeply with the "keep vs toss vs donate" dilemma. It's SO hard for me to acknowledge that something is truly not useful to me (or useful at all). And, learning that sentimental value is not the same as monetary value was also a bitter pill. Stories like yours encourage me. Plus, having cleaned out at least two houses for elders going to facilities, I recall going through the belongings of others and making the decision on what was essential and what was not - and it wasn't even my stuff! Sometimes I picture if I were suddenly gone and someone ELSE were cleaning out my house to sell it.... they would not realize/discern what items ever mattered to me and what items did not. I think it would all end up in a dumpster. Being able to continuously organize and try to keep it pared down seems much better than having the decision made by someone else after I'm no longer able to. Not a perfect science, but a helpful mindset. Best of luck with your move! I do look forward to your posts and I find the things you share to be quite helpful.
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Hubs and I are slowly getting cleaned out as I don;t want my DD to have to deal with it. What I toss depends on my mood, really. IF I am tired I tend to donate more, I even tossed alot of my old photo albums,, DD would not know these people, and I hardly remember some of them,, LOL. But we are slowly making progress.
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It has definitely been a learning curve. I tried, really I tried, to get as much culled out before the 'big pack' as I call it, but so much stuff really is necessary for a few more years. I'm still baking and so all those supplies need to stay. I still can a few things and all that stuff, also. However, the thought of canning salsa ever again--meh, I think I can do without.

I watched my girls do exactly what I have done to mother umpteen times and felt that I almost owe her an apology--although in her case, she hoards papers and magazines and envelopes--true garbage, and I have too many 'craft interests' which do benefit people. But I may never do them again.

This move has not been without a lot of drama and a few tears. DH is capable of doing a LOT of home improvement, but while he needed to do some smaller jobs, he got slammed by work and instead of helping me, he was working at his job. So we're way behind on the 'schedule'....

LUCKILY--we sold this house to our nephew and then rented it back from him, so technically we don't have to hand over the keys until the 31st. We plan to have everything out by Wednesday.

Our carpet guy mis measured and so we have no carpet in the 2nd most important area--the office. Praying that we can get that done by Tuesday--as DH HAS to work. Probably the entire office will be in the garage and we'll move it in and set it up next week.

None of our appliances can go in until the cabinetry is done and THEY are waiting on the main contractor to tear out a portion of the kitchen island, so that also means our granite countertops are still sitting in the warehouse.

I'll do the best I can, but b/c of the new sheetrock, I can't 'put away' my kitchen as I would have to re-dust every drawer and shelf yet again.

We don't have much furniture, really planning to downsize, but SIL had some furniture he uses for staging small condos and he gave that to us. So we have like one truckload of furniture and a lot of boxes to move. My middle daughter is coming over after school and she will super organize the boxes, so the move can be effective and smooth.

Through all of this, I have been very aware of the unrest in the Ukraine and it has certainly put perspective on my little first world problems. We're so incredibly blessed with this new place, and I know it's where we belong now and for the rest of our lives. This too, shall pass and the memories of the home with our babies will be a joy, I hope. I have to say, a day didn't go by that I didn't feel like we were 'asses to elbows' in this tiny home. Funny how now we routinely get 'lost' in the new place.

Life is funny--my OD just committed to a 1500 sf addition to her lovely home and my YD just bought a freaking mansion of 7,000 sf. So, we're all in flux this summer.

I pray my back and hip hold out..I was in so much pain yesterday it was unbearable. Tomorrow will be all directing and bossing people. I don't plan to lift anything over 10 lbs.

Thanks for just listening. This is one of life's most stressful occurrences and I, for one, am really, really feeling it!! I broke out in shingles for the 3rd time in 15 months. Due to stress. I'm hoping to be so dang organized I don't let the stress get to me.
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Thank you for sharing this.

I was talking to a friend Wednesday about offering workshops to seniors who are in your position, have lived in their home for many years and now are facing a move. Many have kids who have moved away, simply do not have the energy to do the work themselves and get bogged down in the memories.

They have no clear idea of the process of selling and perhaps buying or renting a new home. From legal fees, to utilities and more, so much has changed in the last 50 years. Then there are auctions, online auctions, hiring movers, unpacking in the new home and so much more that needs doing that is simply overwhelming.
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I really think this is why the older Seniors do not want to move. At 72 I look at my 4 bedroom house with all the "stuff" and I get overwhelmed in thinking I have to someday get rid of most of it. I then ask myself why I collected those little cottages and my dolls. And those Longeberger baskets! I just said on another post, if I didn't have DH I could get rid of VHS tales, cassettes and LPNs. And his wall of history books.

I did the same thing with my Mom ur girls did. I had a throw out pile, give away pile and a keep pile. I sat her in a chair and stood and asked, trash, give away, keep. Went a lot faster. Everything will go smoothly from here. Positive vibes.😊



I so wished that people had not given as gifts with things that said "50th Anniversary" on them. Not one of us kids wanted these things and some were very nice. TG, we had a thrift store that would make tables with stuff like this arranged on it. The album Mom was given was never used so brand new still in the box.

I sympathise with you. I pushed myself cleaning nephews apt and was down for 2 days after with my back.
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We're in, but far from organized.

I had NO IDEA how much garbage DH just packed from the office w/o going through it first, About 20 of the biggest packing boxes--paperwork from jobsites that no longer even exist. And about 50-60 cables (he's an electrical engineer...so..I do wish I had culled out my stuff better. I'm not going to do intense counted cross stitch or yarn crafts--arthritis has called it a day in my finger and wrists.

I'm doing this for me, of course, but also for my kids so when I die, they won't freak out over the sheer amount of garbage.

And DH has more than 50 pairs of khakis and more than 40 coats of various styles and weights. Ridiculous! I'm thinking that when we see some refugee clothing collection he can give 80% of this stuff away. If he knows it's going to a good place, he's OK with donating, but he is a bit of a hoarder. Clothes and electrical supplies. And guess who has maybe ONE light bulb per room? Yep, us. It's always been that way. Broken outlets and chandeliers that never have all the lightbulbs. I have to laugh.

Every box that leaves us is one more step to 'freedom'.
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OMG Midkid I get the hubs coats and pants!! I have a big closet in the junk room that must have 50 jackets in it! This year before christmas I took all the old ( almost new) coats that DD left here when she moved 10 years ago,, thought they would make good gifts for people who needed them. Got hubs to donate maybe... 5,,, He keeps saying they are still good,, yep they are and you will never wear them! And old tattered work jeans from 20 YO when we had a construction business,, he's goning to wear them to mow.. LOL He only wears short from April until Oct ! I had a melt down a few years ago and made him clean out his "on hangers" shirts.. I swear we got rid of 40! And he teases me about my shoes!! It;s a process for sure. I tend to toss each season as I check out my stuff and it helps keep it under control
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