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I know most here are proving care to senior members of their families, but I am firmly in the middle of the sandwich generation and need to rant a bit about mental health care in Canada.


I have an adult son with undiagnosed mental illness. So we do not know what type he has, because he has not been formally assessed and he showtimes the few times we have gotten him into a hospital. For a long time we thought a combination of Borderline Personality Disorder and or Anti Social Personality Disorder. His Dad's family has a long history of mental health issues and addiction.


Last night my son, he is in his 30's, showed up at my house and started to tell me that the entire family, my side and his Dad's are deep cover agents and it is time for me to tell him what his job is as he is a sleeper agent. It got far weirder from there.


But because he is not considered to be a danger to himself or others, he is allowed to continue on his path with no intervention. Much like our seniors who are allowed to live in squalor, refuse outside support, etc.


He was supposed to have his baby for the weekend, (he and the Mum separated when the baby was 4 months old), but neither I or his Mum feel that he can be trusted with the baby at this time.


I am extra triggered as he was around the same age as his son when his Dad tried to kill me, when he was out of control and making no sense.


I have spent a couple hours this morning looking for supports. Sadly my wonderful therapist is on leave until September. I will need to find someone else to talk to.

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Dearest Tot;

Oh my goodness?

It very much sounds like your son has disconnected from reality. Meaning like he is having a psychotic break.

Who can you report this to as a sudden change in mental status and get him hospitalized and get him the help he needs?
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hugs!

psychotic break/psychosis/paranoia (deep cover agents)

that sounds like schizophrenia.

unfortunately, difficult/impossible to reason with someone who is going through psychosis.

medicine does sometimes help to get someone out of psychosis, and back to reality.

sometimes the medicine must be forced.

for example:
you could tell ambulance/doctors your son is a danger to his baby.

i hope the situation improves!! hug!!!!
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This is heartbreaking. What a nightmare to see a beloved child ill in this particularly painful way. Thinking of you and your family.
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My worry is schizophrenia. His Dad's brother has Paranoid Schizophrenia, he was diagnosed in his 20's after a bad acid trip in the 1970's. I witnessed one of his psychotic breaks and this was eerily similar.

The baby lives with his Mummy and my son only has limited visitation.

I wish medical treatment could be forced in a case like this.
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I am so sorry that you are struggling with this.

I hope you can find help for your son soon.

Can you find another therapist temporarily while your therapist is away?
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I’m so sorry you are going through this. We have friends of our family with an adult son with schizophrenia. They couldn’t get him on meds and he used to go into rages and beat up his poor father. I felt so bad for the father, the son was a big guy. I’m not aware of the particular details but somehow they got him on meds, perhaps they had him committed I don’t know. Several years passed and he was doing well on his meds and I heard the son got married. I was really surprised. I just remember thinking I hope he stays on his pills. He and his wife looked really happy when I last saw them. Have you googled health/mental health forums? I just found one myself but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to say it and support it on here. It looked interesting, I signed up.
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Tot,

I am so sorry you are dealing with this in your son. It's heartbreaking. I agree with Barb that reporting a sudden change in mental status and getting him in the hospital sounds like the best thing to do now, for this current psychotic break.

A close childhood friend of mine has an adult son with schizophrenia. He had similar delusions and it was very scary. It took awhile for her to get the right diagnosis (his started in early adulthood) because it seemed they considered everything else first, before finally getting the right diagnosis and medication.

He now lives a functional life and holds down a job. He is doing okay. The key is he stays on his meds, and he's been able to do that now that he is stable.

I hope you can find a similar solution in that the right diagnosis/meds can turn things around. Wishing you peace as you navigate this, for your son also.
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Oh Tothill, I am sorry. What a thing to be happening :(

Is there not a crisis team anywhere near you?
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you, and I wish I had a better answer than I'll keep all of you in my prayers. But I will keep praying for you and your family.
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Update,

My son has been admitted to a psychiatric emergency ward. The Psychiatrist who will be evaluating him called me and asked for background information. They will medicate him to calm him down and then hopefully will be able to do a through psychiatric assessment on him.

It has been a terrible week.

After he showed up at my home on Tuesday, he showed up at my Mum's on Wednesday, I had to call the RCMP, but sadly they just told him to go home. Friday he showed up at his former girlfriends and scared her with his ranting and raving.
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Oh, Tothill. (((Hugs))). I am glad that he is now inpatient!!!
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Tothill,

I’m. so sorry that you and your son are suffering with all of this.

Good to know that he is in-patient right now.

Praying for you all.
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