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For over five years we did not have sex anymore due to health condition of my 95 year old wife. I am 91 and sexual active. Becoming the caregiver turned out to be rewarding even though I had to learn how to deal with this. I do not believe to be the only one in this situation.

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I'm changing my response since this question has been changed entirely.

Do you honestly expect a 95 year old to give you sex??? And you are 'sexual active' at 91 meaning what? You're out looking for partners for the past 5 years you've been a caregiver b/c your wife isn't healthy enough to satisfy you? Is that the point of this post? And you are now looking for others in 'the same boat' as you to validate your position? Is this how you are "sharing your experiences on how to deal with sex for married caregivers?"

There are MANY ways to deal with sex for married caregivers, let me tell you.
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Sorry you did not understand me. Of course I don't expect my serious ill wife to give sex. I masturbate. For the past five years I have been busy taking care of my wife who I love very much. I am not interested in having sex with others. This is the first time I post a message here. It appeared before I knew I had a chance to phrase it correctly. Thanks for your reply.
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91 and still masturbating my god what the hell. Seriously sometimes i think some people are walking genetials and never evolve past their primal urges.
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So at 91 years old you decided on a Sunday afternoon to find an internet caregiving forum - one in which, it seems looking at your profile, you have never participated in until today- and randomly give your solution to a sexual problem that someone else *might* be having? Not in response to another posting, mind you. But just in case someone here woke up this morning and said "hey, what can I do as a caregiver to relieve sexual desires, let me check the AgingCare forum and see if anyone has some unsolicited advice for me?

Sorry, call me suspicious, but I have trouble believing in the legitimacy of your story. And yeah, in this response I'm being a little judgmental.
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Do you think others can't figure this out for themselves? Too absurd to be legitimate.
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A little TMI for me.
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Hello sp19690, thank you for your reply. You guessed it right. All the walking we did kept us in excellent health until the health of my wife deteriorated. However she is finally improving slightly.
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yanoka, now that you've 'clarified' your post, I find it even more ridiculous than I did originally.
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Hi Debstar53, Appreciate your reply. Of course others can figure it out for themselves. However sometimes discussing together can make life easier. We have been married only 65 years. Have a great day!
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T
TMI
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lealonnie1, thank you for your opinion. I would suggest to declassify it.
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Hello Becky04489. As I told you before this is the first day here. Could you do me a favor and explain what TMI stands for. It seems there is only one place to reply to all the interesting responses I am getting. By doing so don't you think questions and replies are getting mixed up.
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Too Much Information
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Hello notgoodenough, Thank you for your reply. What made you think I decided to post on a Sunday afternoon? I was advised to go online by a professional medical provider. And maybe it helps you to inform you it was on a Wednesday, way in the past.
Have a great day!
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Becky04489, thank you for such a fast reply. Glad I learned something today.
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Most folks don't really need to know about others' sex lives at any age. I'm surprised that's something you'd freely share with the world.

I'm glad you've found a solution to your, uh, issue, but I'd wager any 13-year-old boy knows about Mr. Hand and His Gang o' Five.
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Everyone on AC is an adult. They don't need your instructions on how you handle
your sexual needs.
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I highly doubt OP is legit. Ignore him.
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Sounds to me that its the beginning of a sales pitch. Really 91. I find most men have prostate problems well before 91. I bet he has a special pill.

This forum is mostly women. And after caring all day for a spouse, I think sex is the last thing they want. A good nights sleep YES! A vacation from caregiving YES!
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JoAnn has me mixed up with the flowerhouse1952. We are not selling anything. Our white and red geraniums in our gardens are there to look at as you can see in the pictures. The ones in the back are the multicolored petunia. Of course we do not want to miss the red roses. The one in front is depladenia and has wonderful red flowers. There are so many more in different sections around the house. And pretty soon the baby birds in their little cabins are almost ready to fly out and undoubtedly will enjoy the nice flowers also. The hummingbirds will be glad to get some company.
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Ok, I know this post several months old but I got to get in on the action. It’s my smile for the day. I’m approaching the post as if legitimate.
Wow, still got the urge at 91, gives me hope. I’m only 48, hubby had stroke 10yrs ago. Stroke was the end of our frisky nights. At the age of 38 yrs how frisky are most people? I heard tell women hit their (cough cough) overdrive later than men. Got to say it’s not been easy. Matter of fact it’s been down right hard and very lonely. Physical touch is just as important as food and water. Good chance hubby going to live another 5 to 10 yrs. So I could be 58 yrs old. I’m not ashamed to ask myself will I have any frisky in me at that time.

Got to say the way the subject (sex) was express was a little shocking at first but then I started laughing. On this forum we talk about any imaginable form of embarrassing body act, body fluids/waste, medical procedures, the beauty and pain of death, watching our love one’s waste away in misery but we can’t talk about the one act that was vital to us being a live…sex? Just because a spouse is no longer able does that mean the co-spouse is automatically shut down too? Sex is as natural as birth and death.

So on this forum we give advice on our so important and vital self-care and “me” time why not “date night”? I mean with taste and tack that is.

I will never cheat on my hubby and I do not suggest it. I do believe in decorum and respect even in the most natural and sensitive of subjects. I probably would of asked for the OP to reach out to me privately so we could discuss without concern for softening our word choices or having to be vague.
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@JoAnn29
sex can be a major stress reliever.
Sexual intimacy can also help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression as it triggers the release of three mood-boosting chemicals — dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin.
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Tagtea,

There are many women on this forum that after caring for a husband all day, especially those suffering from Dementia, the last thing they are looking for is sex. Being in my 70s, I am very aware that males have problems as they age, more than not. So surprising that a 91 can still fully participate and if so, good for him.

Seems something has changed in this post that was there in July when originally posted. As you read, this was thought to be a Troll. Also note the person posted this 1x. Seems may have replied to one post but with 4k of responses hard to tell. So a Troll they probably were.
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@joAnn29
Totally get it. I’m 24/7 caregiver to hubby and stroke took a lot of his common sense and manners. He doesn’t understand that I really don’t think it’s appropriate for him to grab me in certain places as I wipe his backside from an BM. I have told him LOTS in all the ways possible to stop. He just laughs. It takes all my strength to not react physically and violently.
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