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AgingCare is a supportive space for people to discuss aging, daily life, and caregiving topics.

Public posts about conflict with other members are not relevant to this forum and will be removed. Users who continually post about conflicts with other members (whether they are directly involved or not) will have their account removed.

If you want to bring the moderator’s attention to a comment, you can click the Report button on the lower right of the comment. Use the report feature if what you are reading feels inappropriate.

The recent influx of conflict-posting means that you will see more moderator intervention for a while. Long term, we would like to become more hands-off again and give posters the opportunity to self-regulate.



Other notes:

Do not accuse posters of being other members in disguise.

Profanity is not permitted in the forum and will result in your post being edited or removed.

It is recommended to avoid using ALL CAPS and excessive exclamation points on the forum. Remember that readers do not have the benefit of hearing your tone and can feel hurt without this context.

When reading, try to assume good intent and give yourself a moment before responding.

You can find AgingCare’s complete Member Comment Policy here: https://www.agingcare.com/aboutus/member-comment-policy

From the Tech team:

The AgingCare Tech team is committed to better transparency about the improvements and fixes we make to the forum, and we look forward to posting updates as they are available.


Our latest update is here: https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/an-update-on-technical-issues-fixes-and-upcoming-work-from-the-agingcare-tech-team-480848.htm

The best way to bring our attention to a technical issue is via the Send Us a Message form here: https://www.agingcare.com/aboutus


This allows us to quickly put the issue into a queue to be addressed, while a post or comment about the problem can get buried.



Thank you for reading. We respect the community that has been created here and we are taking steps to make it a positive experience for everyone who needs it.

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Find Care & Housing
Thanks so much. I've been totally disheartened by the conflict and nasty language lately. I hope your plan for more close monitoring of posts is successful and that we can eventually return to self monitoring.
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So grateful for this being addressed. Thank you.
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Thank you for that!
Encouragement is needed.

I would like to add my support.
If a poster has lost their filter, ignoring their post can be a kindness.
Forgiving them, then moving on without a correction or any comment
at all may help that person.

We never know just what a person might be experiencing at that moment.
Even an illness where they missed their medication.
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Thank you
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Thank you very much for taking care of this.

What was going on was disheartening, and I would guess, impeded some users from getting the help they needed.
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Very happy to read this!
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pecansielli- We are so sorry to hear about the experience your husband had. We want AgingCare to be a supportive space for all.

Yes, the About Us page is the right place. When you scroll down that page, you'll see a "Send Us a Message" form.

Reported comments can take time to read through, investigate, and action, so we appreciate everyone's patience after they make a report.

Have a great day, everyone!
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I am so glad this is finally being addressed. I got dogpiled so viciously by the "popular people" (who de facto run the forum) that it took me months to work up the courage to return to the forum. It was not a supportive experience, to say the least.
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Thank you.
Can I ask why post titles & wording gets changed?
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Hi Catskie62,
 
Thanks for raising this question! It's come up a few times over the years and helps the team reflect on existing moderating policies and procedures. Our intention is to make as few changes as possible while also encouraging engagement.
 
Edits to question and discussion titles might be necessary for clarity, spelling, and/or grammar. These should be minor, though.
 
Original posters (OPs) often bury their question in the details section of their post. If their chosen title wasn't very descriptive, we may also add their question (in their own words) to the title. This helps clarify what they're asking and increases the likelihood that they'll get answers.
 
Historically, we've added a prompt like "Any advice?" to the end of titles for posts that didn't contain a question at all. We're moving away from this policy in order to preserve members' original posts. We recognize that venting is an important aspect of caregiver support. Adding this prompt can change the intention of a post and how other members respond.
 
Hopefully this helps clarify the moderating process. Your feedback is invaluable as we continue refining our processes and site features. Thank you!
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Thanks for taking the time to explain AC. :)
Run on sentences,etc can be difficult to read, I was just curious.
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How are questions rotated? Occasionally, we see very old posts pop up and people are responding to them. Meanwhile, newer posts seem to slip through the cracks and don’t get answered.
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Need,
If we click on “most popular”, we can see old posts. If someone replies to one of them, I’m thinking that they get bumped up.

At that point, if we have ever responded to that post, (at that point, we are “following” it.) that post pops up again to what we see.

I’m not sure how sophisticated AC’s algorithm is, but this is my hypothesis.

😃
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@Aging Care CM and Tech,
Maybe you could shorten the availability of length for an introductory new post?
Maybe 12 to 20 sentences?

Readers do not need a person's entire life story and their family's life story,
and their parent's life story told in an introduction.

Maybe shortening the first post will encourage the person needing help to come back and allow us to get to know them better, and really help them.
If they want to just vent, they can do that in the comments following.
Just an idea.
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Can the mods check on Lealonnie's account? I'm worried about what's happening with her.
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Lea's account is disabled, not by her. Please restore.
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Colleen,

Yes, but I am not referring to those posts. It’s the list of questions underneath which are a similar topic but usually old and the OP isn’t around anymore.

I understand why the most popular questions are still around.
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Admin this is from NeedHelpWithMom

"It looks like most times that I try to post a question it kicks me off. Can you please put this information on the AgingCare page about the site discussing issues. It’s a definite pattern. Not just for me. Same thing happened with Glad. As soon as we tried to post a question it kicks us off of the forum"
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NHWM - newer posts falling off the page into oblivion is why we asked for (and got) the ability to choose the option "need answers" "needs advice". There are still a few of us who look for those and try to answer, or at least bump them up.
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Test
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A suggestion to the admins here, one tech and one social.

Please get the coders to embed http pages consistently so we can view the resource with one click. Cutting and pasting a url on mobile is cumbersome.

Socially, admin, it’s been one day since you posted these conflict guidelines and there’s already a post from user1 who now can’t post and sent an email to be posted by user2 noting that in addition to the posting inability, user1 had told a user 3 in dm to “back off my thread.”

What’s in dms is no ones business but admins and frankly not even theirs unless reported by the recipient.

The prospect of a user being involuntarily stripped of their username does, however. Someone took a deliberate it action to reduce them to a suspended and anonymous status.

As someone who’s worked with xen and m365 and before that ms exchange and sql and wservers, affecting these types of reductions in user access require admin access.

If you were hacked, we deserve to know that.
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Is the delete and make private feature going to be fixed soon?
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So, should I test the water and post another question to see if I get logged out?
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Aging Care Administration and/or Moderators,
I'm reporting that my wife (pecansielli) is not able to access her account.

She assumes this is a technical glitch and says she's not aware of violating any policies or anything in this community update announcement, (i.e., Public posts about conflict with other members or accusing members of being other members, profanity, etc.)

She posted on this thread last week and her post is now missing but your reply to her is still there. I also note private messages sent to me by my wife are suddenly missing from my profile page. I see others posting today to tell you a popular member's account was disabled, not by her, and asking you to restore it. I would like to do the same on behalf of my wife.

SUGGESTION: With all the technical glitches as of late, if a members account was intentionally disabled for some reason, can you email the member to inform them of this and the reasons why?
My wife says the only new email from Aging Care is the Daily Questions email you send ea day.

She wrote last week with concerns using the "Send Us a Message" Form on your About Us pg, and your response below said:
"comments can take time to read through, investigate, and action, so we appreciate everyone's patience after they make a report."
She also reported something new this week and says she did so via private message after noticing your original welcome message said this was an option.

I understand being very busy so this is not a complaint.
I told her to be patient and I believe she has been. Nearly a week out and she's still not heard anything back to either her messages or p.m.
SUGGESTION #2: An automatic acknowledgement that a members message or report has been received so they won't be left to wonder if the delay means their message was lost. Would this be possible?

I am a rule and law follower, I strive to abide by policies and follow biblical principals. I appreciate clarity about expectations in all areas of life. For this reason I commend you on efforts to straighten things out on this valuable forum.

My experience as a new member the past few months has been less than positive to say the least. (i.e. personal attack posts last week that made no sense at all. Prior to that on a different thread I had popular members calling me a troll because the OP did not like advice I posted. I didn't know the OP wouldn't like my advice and didn't mean to upset anyone so I apologized and refrained from further posts on the thread).

Prior to last Thursday's announcement and posting this thread, the lack of attention and inconsistencies moderators were allowing were very discouraging. Reported posts were ignored and newer members who weren't lucky enough to have popular members standing up for them had no chance of surviving the attacks which were allowed. Attempting to defend oneself was the only option and usually failed.

I fervently hope you will take the lack of moderation (or very sparse) into account in your current decisions about member accounts. I pray for fairness in moderation and decisions going forward.

Based on the comments I've read, I'm not the only one who feels there was bullying taking place and reported posts with personal attacks were left to stand.

I trust you will take this feedback in the constructive terms I intend for it to be.

My wife is hopeful you'll soon be able to respond and look into the technical glitch with her account.

Extending a sincere thank you for your attention.
Patpaul
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When we ask a question and place it in the question section, it is because we view it as a question. Why does the administration choose to move it to the discussion section?

This happens on occasion. It has happened to me a few times. It happened to me today!

I have noticed this occurs with other posters as well.
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