Are you his POA? It is time to go to the DMV and make a report. In most states he will be called in to do a test. That will be that. You will need to disable the car or have it safely removed (preferred) until then. Not only may he be hurt, but he is menace on the streets. If you cannot accomplish this it may be time for placement in mc for his own protection and for the safety of others. I am so very sorry.
If there are 2 cars in the household you take his in to "be repaired" and it never comes back. Your car you keep secure so that he does not have access to the keys. You can have a mechanic put a switch on it so that even if he gets the keys the car will not start. You could also get one of the "Club" locks and put that on the car. Lock your car, keep the keys with you so that he can not even get into the car. I still wear my keys on a clip that is clipped to my belt loop. I did that so my husband could not take the car. This is a non negotiable if something were to happen where he damaged property, hurt or killed someone you would be ruined financially especially if there is medical documentation that he has dementia. The doctor can also inform the Secretary of State (Drivers License Department) that his drivers license should be revoked.
There are many many posts on this forum asking the same question. You can search those and read the responses. A very common problem but very urgent he is stopped from having access. You won't be able to get him to agree to stop so you must take other actions.
See a divorce lawyer PRONTO. Divide your funds, so scammers don't get all yours too. Driving without insurance, report the vehicle license to your state DMV or police.
Don't end up financially screwed from HIS dementia. He could get sued and loose everything. It's not your fault, you cannot control it. He is headed for placement.
Let his Doctors know about the 3 crashes. Not his right to drive and possibly kill innocent people. Contact your county agencies to ask for a Social Worker to help, or call APS.
He's not going to be the same person you married, and will only get worse. He's angry because he probably realizes he's not the same, and not going to handle it well, since he CAN'T. He needs medication to tone his behavior down.
Once you start a divorce, the money gets frozen. Sorry you have to deal with this.
Thanks. I saw elder law lawyer last week. They could not help with anything. They did not handle matrimonial or guardianships. They said he is not competent to sign papers, and will contest every action I take. Now what?
What are you waiting for? For him to kill someone before you take the necessary action? Someone driving with any of the dementias is no different than someone driving drunk, and they must be stopped sooner than later. Are you aware that if your husband were to either kill some innocent person or severely injure them and the police were made aware that he has dementia that you and he could be sued for everything you have? And would you be able to live with yourself knowing that you should have stopped him from driving but now he's killed someone? If that isn't enough to scare you into doing something to disable his car of take away his keys, I can't imagine anything will.
Hide the keys. The insurance company may cancel your insurance is what happened to us after being with same carrier for 15 years. My husband had 4 accidents in 2 years. He totaled 2 different cars. I had to find different insurance carrier and have his driver's license revoked. He will get angry...but I repeatedly told him you can't drive you have no insurance.
If he is renting a car so as to get around you keeping your car out of reach, then I suppose the next step is to make renting impossible. He cannot have access to credit cards, and it might be best to take his license and smartphone. (He should carry another form of identification of course). Without a license or using the app, I don’t think a rental agency would rent him a car. I’m not experienced in this, but it seems to me you need to remove the tools that make this possible. I’m really sorry, this must be so difficult.
Cancel the credit cards he’s using. He has to have a credit card to use Uber; I’ve never heard of Uber taking cash. If he has a key fob for the car, open it and remove the battery. He probably won’t figure out what’s wrong with it. He should never be left unsupervised now. If there’s no one to watch and stop him from doing all dangerous things, you MUST place him in memory care. This isn’t only a driving problem. It’s also a problem of what he’ll do next, since he’s lost good judgment and thinking skills.
Things I’ve seen while taking care of family who had dementia: Eating leaves found on the ground. Emptying the whole pill minder for the week on the place mat and starting to eat all of the pills. Trying to walk out the door at 2 a.m. Waking up in the middle of the night and peeing in inappropriate places.
I know it’s hard to imagine the extent of the damage they can do. I’m sorry you are going through this, but you have to take major steps. Placement would be my choice.
There is legally stopping him and literally stopping him,
Legally, you report him to the DMV. Depending on your state you can do this online. When you provide proof (dates of accidents, reasons, etc) they will send out a letter telling him to come in for a test (this also varies by state). You need to intercept the letter so he never sees it, and allow his license to expire.
Literally, as others have suggested (and hoping either you or someone else is his PoA):
- relocate the cars to a secret place, also hiding the keys. - hiding or cancelling credit and debit cards, checkbooks, etc. - preventing any online access (changing the password, cancelling any new account he opens)
I realize this seems daunting but there is no other way. It will be hard at first and then things will improve. My Uncle killed his own wife in a crash he caused because no one stopped him. Others on this forum have similar stories. You are in the best position to stop him. He will get mad, and you must ignore it and do whatever it takes.
If he gets verbally abusive or physically threatening then don't hesitate to call 911 and report this to the police. This may keep him in check or else they may remove him from your home, depending on how he reacts.
There are no magic wand for this situation. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Have as many family, friends and neighbors in on this as possible. Make sure they know to never lend their vehicles to him. Ask them to provide rides for his appointments and errands so he doesn't feel stranded. If he manages to get a car and you know he's on the road, call it in to 911 every time.
I've had to end driving privileges for 3 seniors and this year probably going on the 4th. It's never been easy. I wish you success.
Based on your profile you filled out he doesn't have insurance so how was he able to rent a car? Please call Enterprise and tell them your husband is uninsured and has rented a car from their agency and he has ALZ. They will be liable if he gets in a car accident since they are now informed of the situation. Sounds like you do need to place him in a facility or divorce him at this point based on what you wrote. It sounds like a nightmare.
Does he have a formal diagnosis from a doctor for ALZ? Give this to the rental car company too. And yes take away his credit cards, etc and access to ALL bank accounts ASAP. You don't want him draining your accounts.
Another thing you could try is having him detained for emergency mental evaluation for 72 hours. In Florida, it's called the Baker Act. In other states, it may be called something else. This would bring in medical specialists and social workers. You'd have a team to assist in finding him the help he needs.
When you call it in, you'd say that he is a danger to himself and others, which is true. They'd take it from there.
Your husband has to be placed, against his will, in either a Memory Care Assisted Living facility or Skilled Nursing care. Do you have POA?
If not, file for guardianship with the court.
See his doctor about medications to calm him down.
Call 911 if he's out of control and have him taken to the ER for a psych hold where they WILL medicate him.
In the meantime, disable the car. Slash the tires. Enterprise WILL rent him a car w/o insurance....they'll just sell him THEIR insurance.
Call the local car rental agencies and tell them your husband's name and that he has dementia and will be coming by to rent a car. DO NOT RENT HIM A CAR.
Cancel all the credit cards and debit cards and have ONE new card of each type reissued in your name ONLY.
Hide the checkbook(s).
Call around until you find an elder care attorney thst DOES handle guardianship and divorce, if that's what you want. But your husband must be placed in managed care of some kind safely before you can leave him otherwise. Speak to the attorney about that too.
Get a DIVORCE lawyer. Close all joint accounts, cancel all credit cards. Make it clear to the Judge in the interlocutory hearing that he has been diagnosed with Alz, and is a clear danger to himself and others. You cannot get legal help or cooperation to control his actions! Provide proof of the crashes, medical diagnosis, and ask the Court to take guardianship. YOU FEAR FOR YOUR LIFE & SAFETY.
You want to end the marriage because you have no way to control his behavior. You fear he will be sued from whatever havoc he causes and YOU CANNOT CONTROL HIM. He is aggressive and determined, and unable to listen to reason..
Start looking for a studio to move into, while you protect whatever share of property is yours. This is a terrible position to be in! It will stress you out health wise. Filing for divorce stops your financial responsibility for his behavior. You may not need to divorce once he gets placed. You are a sitting duck now otherwise.
Once he is placed in a secure facility, you can move back home. You can be his advocate (if you wish). Do you have family or close friends you could stay with for a few months? He needs to be Baker Acted, 5150'd or placed in a MC/psych facility by force. Him driving and renting cars illegally is the start of more aggressive and dangerous behavior, Protect YOURSELF FIRST. Sorry you have to go through this. Good luck!
Nobody to help. How to protect my share of house? He owns half the house. Will not sign over. No POA. Am a sitting duck. Making another lawyer appt. Probably need to see 2, one for matrimonial and one for elder guardianship. Oh boy, in meltdown.
@chryn24...he should not be able to rent a car, renting means you sign a contract. If he has dementia he can not enter into a contract. How did he get to the rental place? You need to contact the Dr and have the Dr notify the DMV to revok his license, you can contact them yourself. Once the license is revoked he can not rent a car as they will check.
Who is going to prove to the rental company that he has dementia when he's standing there signing the paperwork and paying for it? The wife is not even his PoA. Even if the wife called in advance, I promise you the person at the rental desk has no legal ability to prevent him from renting based on a phone call from someone claiming to be his wife and claiming he has dementia.
@chyron24....you mentioned you saw an Elder Care Attorney but they do not handle Guardianships. That is not an Elder Care Attorney that I would trust. They SHOULD handle Guardianships as that is sometimes part and parcel of Elder Law. If a person comes in and can not legally sign documents because the attorney does not think they are competent to understand what they are signing then Guardianship is the next step.
Talk to his doctor and demand he send a form to DMV stating this man has ALZ and is not fit to drive. I would ask for a letter stating that so you can show the car rental places. It should state he also can no longer sign contracts.
He must be very good at "showtiming" to get to rent a car. You need to do something. Get guardianship and then place him. See about splitting your assets so yours can't be touched if he ends up killing someone.
Have you called the rental car company and asked them to not to allow him to rent a car? Tell them the risk involved and maybe they can block him. I have done it before when my mom was binge shopping with success.
Most rental places are national companies. Who is going to prove to the rental company that he has dementia when he's standing there signing the paperwork and paying for it? Even if the wife called in advance, I promise you the person at the rental desk has no legal ability to prevent him from renting based on a phone call from someone claiming to be his wife and claiming he has dementia.
This is one of the most difficult problems to confront. When accidents begin to happen, it's time to ask the police for help. Might you be able to speak with them about taking away his license? Would he understand that? There will certainly be many suggestions like lying about his car being broken and disabling it... losing his keys etc. The police have told us that when accidents begin happening, they will help us by "tracking" our loved one but until that time, they can do nothing. If he has dementia, he's probably not being secretive or spiteful - but truly doesn't know better. He may be angry- that is part of the disease that somehow they know something is off but they can't figure what it would be. May you find comfort in the days to come. Recommendation: find out as much about the disease as possible so that you can more effectively tell "fiblets" to him.
Tark the keys and hide them. Plain and simple. He could hurt/kill himself or someone else. He is going to be mean and secretive regardless if he is driving or not. (Ive cared for a grandfather with dementia) I'm sure you don't want that on your conscious!
If it's possible, try not to despair. This is the most brutal disease imaginable and it's not intentional. Our loved ones don't want to be helpless and they begin to feel that way when things go wrong but they truly do not know that they are losing any mental facility... The only thing I can say is that as the disease progresses, it seems to get easier to understand the results of the disease are not personal or malicious or intentional. It helped me tremendously to read answers from people here who don't boss us around assuming we know what's going on. Those who are kind and understand our despair are the best people to follow. I hope you can find some support for yourself in these trying times. Blessings...
You don’t state where you are located. I would start with contacting his primary care dr or neurologist and get them to write a letter that you, or another family member. takes to your local DMV. I have included a link for Virginia, where I live, so you have an example so you know what to look for in your state: https://www.dmv.virginia.gov/licenses-ids/license/medical/review
We also took my MIL’s car to the shop and it never came back. All other keys are kept in a small keypad safe. Really-she would even try to take my husband’s big work truck if she can get the keys.
Do you have other family that is able or willing to help? As a last resort you may have to call Adult Protective Services. You are in your 80s and need help with this. You are walking on eggshells and need help.
Disable the car! Move the car so he cannot see it. He has ALZ if he doesn't see it he'll forget about it. My daddy had ALZ - He forgot that he had only a state id and he did not have car insurance. I would have to remind him that I did the driving and he could not drive without insurance. When I reminded him that he did not have insurance he would yell at me and ask me why he didn't have insurance. I would tell him that he didn't need to drive that I would take him to where he needed to go. I was the worse daughter ever! Didn't care - too bad. Save lives was my concern!
I am sorry for what you are going through. I am in the state of California and I was told that when a doctor gives an Alzheimer's disease diagnosis, that doctor is supposed to notify DMV. It is selfish, irresponsible and dangerous to drive with cognitive impairment. You could lose everything you have EVER worked for. If there is an accident and a lawsuit, of course, what does the attorney search for? BLAME. Regardless of who caused the accident, your husband will be automatically liable.
Does he have an actual diagnosis of Alzheimer’s from a Dr?
I'm not sure if this is true, so PLEASE check this out for yourself in your state. I’ve heard that if there is a dementia diagnosis in a persons medical records and there’s an auto accident, if the insurance or police see that diagnosis the insurance company may not pay for any claims for that accident. Again, I’m not positive so check with your insurance company and/or ask the police dept.
So if there’s a wreck and cops are called, if they or anyone else involved feels your husband isn’t “clear”, if it comes out he has dementia (thru medical records), you and he could be liable for whatever damages have been caused. That’s a frightening thought.
So that and just the idea that he may get really hurt or hurt someone else would be enough for a clear thinking person to stop driving. But since he is not clear thinking anymore. Does he have an actual diagnosis? Even if he doesn’t and police or others involved think he is of clear mind, they will either think he’s drunk or has dementia and they will check.
Be prepared to drive him wherever he needs to go. Take the keys and hide them - give them to trusted family member or friend. Have his car moved to family or friend. Keep your car keys hidden and your car locked. You can be “secretive too”. Ask Dr or get advice from police dept on ways to handle…I’m sure they run into this sort of thing a lot. Have Dr explain to husband that he can no longer drive…sometimes bad news is taken better from a third party.
Please keep us posted on what you do and what works so others can know.
I would get him to the dr to get diagnosed . With my aunt she had to go thru a simulated driving test and they took her license away. So I would really get to your Dr to get him tested
The next time he gets a car from the rental agency call the police tell them you saw this vehicle driving crazy all over the road it almost hit you(you don't have to tell them who you are). Next you write to your governor of the state tell them your husband has Alz and he is a menace behind the wheel and you are trying to stop another accident from happening(you could probably send an email to them). You reach out to anyone or everyone that will listen to you.
If he is aggressive call 911 report him. They will take him to the hospital to evaluate him. There you tell the social worker that you can't have him at home and it isn't safe for you or him to be together.
They will get more aggressive and it won't end great believe me. I would be on the phone with every attorney in my area explaining the situation so that you find one that will help you in this matter. Also protect yourself meaning if you have a joint account make another account in your name only transfer your money there. If you have joint credit cards cancel them. Make it harder for him to rent a vehicle.
For all the agencies that rent vehicles I would call corporate and tell them that your husband has had 3 accidents. I would let them know that its on them now you have warn them that he is like this.
Prayers that you can get the help that you need. Keep calling someone including the police to get the help needed.
My mother has dementia, and after moving back to California, she was very serious about getting her drivers license. I made the appointment and she did not pass the test two times.
Her doctor also said she should not drive and was in the process of alerting the state but I let Mom take the license test anyway because I knew she would fail.
Someone suggested talking to doctors and attorneys and that is really good advice. Contact your husband’s doctor in conjunction with a family law attorney and find out what you can do. If you are his power of attorney, then you will have more power to stop him from driving.
And if he becomes more aggressive, or you feel in danger, sleep in a different bedroom and lock your door or maybe it’s time he lives somewhere else.
I know it’s really really hard. My sister and I take turns with my mother and even though she’s not aggressive, being a caretaker is extremely stressful and exhausting. You must take care of yourself and save yourself from what does stress can do to your body and mind.
I will send you a prayer and for your husband as well.
It is time to go to the DMV and make a report.
In most states he will be called in to do a test. That will be that.
You will need to disable the car or have it safely removed (preferred) until then.
Not only may he be hurt, but he is menace on the streets.
If you cannot accomplish this it may be time for placement in mc for his own protection and for the safety of others.
I am so very sorry.
Your car you keep secure so that he does not have access to the keys.
You can have a mechanic put a switch on it so that even if he gets the keys the car will not start.
You could also get one of the "Club" locks and put that on the car.
Lock your car, keep the keys with you so that he can not even get into the car. I still wear my keys on a clip that is clipped to my belt loop. I did that so my husband could not take the car.
This is a non negotiable if something were to happen where he damaged property, hurt or killed someone you would be ruined financially especially if there is medical documentation that he has dementia.
The doctor can also inform the Secretary of State (Drivers License Department) that his drivers license should be revoked.
Talk to his doctor about medication for the anger
There are many many posts on this forum asking the same question. You can search those and read the responses. A very common problem but very urgent he is stopped from having access. You won't be able to get him to agree to stop so you must take other actions.
Don't end up financially screwed from HIS dementia. He could get sued and loose everything. It's not your fault, you cannot control it. He is headed for placement.
Let his Doctors know about the 3 crashes. Not his right to drive and possibly kill innocent people. Contact your county agencies to ask for a Social Worker to help, or call APS.
He's not going to be the same person you married, and will only get worse. He's angry because he probably realizes he's not the same, and not going to handle it well, since he CAN'T. He needs medication to tone his behavior down.
Once you start a divorce, the money gets frozen. Sorry you have to deal with this.
Someone driving with any of the dementias is no different than someone driving drunk, and they must be stopped sooner than later.
Are you aware that if your husband were to either kill some innocent person or severely injure them and the police were made aware that he has dementia that you and he could be sued for everything you have? And would you be able to live with yourself knowing that you should have stopped him from driving but now he's killed someone? If that isn't enough to scare you into doing something to disable his car of take away his keys, I can't imagine anything will.
Things I’ve seen while taking care of family who had dementia: Eating leaves found on the ground. Emptying the whole pill minder for the week on the place mat and starting to eat all of the pills. Trying to walk out the door at 2 a.m. Waking up in the middle of the night and peeing in inappropriate places.
I know it’s hard to imagine the extent of the damage they can do. I’m sorry you are going through this, but you have to take major steps. Placement would be my choice.
Legally, you report him to the DMV. Depending on your state you can do this online. When you provide proof (dates of accidents, reasons, etc) they will send out a letter telling him to come in for a test (this also varies by state). You need to intercept the letter so he never sees it, and allow his license to expire.
Literally, as others have suggested (and hoping either you or someone else is his PoA):
- relocate the cars to a secret place, also hiding the keys.
- hiding or cancelling credit and debit cards, checkbooks, etc.
- preventing any online access (changing the password, cancelling any new account he opens)
I realize this seems daunting but there is no other way. It will be hard at first and then things will improve. My Uncle killed his own wife in a crash he caused because no one stopped him. Others on this forum have similar stories. You are in the best position to stop him. He will get mad, and you must ignore it and do whatever it takes.
If he gets verbally abusive or physically threatening then don't hesitate to call 911 and report this to the police. This may keep him in check or else they may remove him from your home, depending on how he reacts.
There are no magic wand for this situation. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Have as many family, friends and neighbors in on this as possible. Make sure they know to never lend their vehicles to him. Ask them to provide rides for his appointments and errands so he doesn't feel stranded. If he manages to get a car and you know he's on the road, call it in to 911 every time.
I've had to end driving privileges for 3 seniors and this year probably going on the 4th. It's never been easy. I wish you success.
Does he have a formal diagnosis from a doctor for ALZ? Give this to the rental car company too. And yes take away his credit cards, etc and access to ALL bank accounts ASAP. You don't want him draining your accounts.
When you call it in, you'd say that he is a danger to himself and others, which is true. They'd take it from there.
If not, file for guardianship with the court.
See his doctor about medications to calm him down.
Call 911 if he's out of control and have him taken to the ER for a psych hold where they WILL medicate him.
In the meantime, disable the car. Slash the tires. Enterprise WILL rent him a car w/o insurance....they'll just sell him THEIR insurance.
Call the local car rental agencies and tell them your husband's name and that he has dementia and will be coming by to rent a car. DO NOT RENT HIM A CAR.
Cancel all the credit cards and debit cards and have ONE new card of each type reissued in your name ONLY.
Hide the checkbook(s).
Call around until you find an elder care attorney thst DOES handle guardianship and divorce, if that's what you want. But your husband must be placed in managed care of some kind safely before you can leave him otherwise. Speak to the attorney about that too.
Good luck to you.
You want to end the marriage because you have no way to control his behavior. You fear he will be sued from whatever havoc he causes and YOU CANNOT CONTROL HIM. He is aggressive and determined, and unable to listen to reason..
Start looking for a studio to move into, while you protect whatever share of property is yours. This is a terrible position to be in! It will stress you out health wise. Filing for divorce stops your financial responsibility for his behavior. You may not need to divorce once he gets placed. You are a sitting duck now otherwise.
Once he is placed in a secure facility, you can move back home. You can be his advocate (if you wish). Do you have family or close friends you could stay with for a few months? He needs to be Baker Acted, 5150'd or placed in a MC/psych facility by force. Him driving and renting cars illegally is the start of more aggressive and dangerous behavior, Protect YOURSELF FIRST.
Sorry you have to go through this. Good luck!
How did he get to the rental place?
You need to contact the Dr and have the Dr notify the DMV to revok his license, you can contact them yourself. Once the license is revoked he can not rent a car as they will check.
I would ask for a letter stating that so you can show the car rental places. It should state he also can no longer sign contracts.
He must be very good at "showtiming" to get to rent a car. You need to do something. Get guardianship and then place him. See about splitting your assets so yours can't be touched if he ends up killing someone.
https://www.dmv.virginia.gov/licenses-ids/license/medical/review
We also took my MIL’s car to the shop and it never came back. All other keys are kept in a small keypad safe. Really-she would even try to take my husband’s big work truck if she can get the keys.
Do you have other family that is able or willing to help? As a last resort you may have to call Adult Protective Services. You are in your 80s and need help with this. You are walking on eggshells and need help.
My daddy had ALZ - He forgot that he had only a state id and he did not have car insurance. I would have to remind him that I did the driving and he could not drive without insurance. When I reminded him that he did not have insurance he would yell at me and ask me why he didn't have insurance. I would tell him that he didn't need to drive that I would take him to where he needed to go. I was the worse daughter ever! Didn't care - too bad. Save lives was my concern!
If you share assets with him and he gets sued from an accident, you both may lose everything you own.
He should be placed in memory care.
I'm not sure if this is true, so PLEASE check this out for yourself in your state. I’ve heard that if there is a dementia diagnosis in a persons medical records and there’s an auto accident, if the insurance or police see that diagnosis the insurance company may not pay for any claims for that accident. Again, I’m not positive so check with your insurance company and/or ask the police dept.
So if there’s a wreck and cops are called, if they or anyone else involved feels your husband isn’t “clear”, if it comes out he has dementia (thru medical records), you and he could be liable for whatever damages have been caused. That’s a frightening thought.
So that and just the idea that he may get really hurt or hurt someone else would be enough for a clear thinking person to stop driving. But since he is not clear thinking anymore. Does he have an actual diagnosis? Even if he doesn’t and police or others involved think he is of clear mind, they will either think he’s drunk or has dementia and they will check.
Be prepared to drive him wherever he needs to go. Take the keys and hide them - give them to trusted family member or friend. Have his car moved to family or friend. Keep your car keys hidden and your car locked. You can be “secretive too”. Ask Dr or get advice from police dept on ways to handle…I’m sure they run into this sort of thing a lot. Have Dr explain to husband that he can no longer drive…sometimes bad news is taken better from a third party.
Please keep us posted on what you do and what works so others can know.
If he is aggressive call 911 report him. They will take him to the hospital to evaluate him. There you tell the social worker that you can't have him at home and it isn't safe for you or him to be together.
They will get more aggressive and it won't end great believe me. I would be on the phone with every attorney in my area explaining the situation so that you find one that will help you in this matter. Also protect yourself meaning if you have a joint account make another account in your name only transfer your money there. If you have joint credit cards cancel them. Make it harder for him to rent a vehicle.
For all the agencies that rent vehicles I would call corporate and tell them that your husband has had 3 accidents. I would let them know that its on them now you have warn them that he is like this.
Prayers that you can get the help that you need. Keep calling someone including the police to get the help needed.
may have some advice, even though your husband is not driving drunk.
Her doctor also said she should not drive and was in the process of alerting the state but I let Mom take the license test anyway because I knew she would fail.
Someone suggested talking to doctors and attorneys and that is really good advice. Contact your husband’s doctor in conjunction with a family law attorney and find out what you can do. If you are his power of attorney, then you will have more power to stop him from driving.
And if he becomes more aggressive, or you feel in danger, sleep in a different bedroom and lock your door or maybe it’s time he lives somewhere else.
I know it’s really really hard. My sister and I take turns with my mother and even though she’s not aggressive, being a caretaker is extremely stressful and exhausting. You must take care of yourself and save yourself from what does stress can do to your body and mind.
I will send you a prayer and for your husband as well.
Hugs