Her dad died yrs ago. For 4yrs she's failed to keep up property taxes, HOA & abandoned. Her assets are 2 million & I know I can help her, but don't know how to when she's isolated herself & has both parents ashes with her next to bed..help
You should see a lawyer and he will assist you in seeking guardianship either by yourself or by the state. Does she have diagnosed mental illness or dementia that you know of? How old is she?
OP's profile says her mother is 70 yrs old and is in a "toxic" "abusive" relationship:
"...involved in a relationship that is abusive mentally & hasn't had any medical visits..no doctor & her fathers properties are in serious jeopardy & has abandoned all finance decisions in property she lives & fathers home..property taxes delinquent on both property's..unable to communicate to me & her relationship is toxic & is being isolated from me & he too has elderly parent & is isolating his mother from 2 other siblings..he is not protecting her or helping her & is emotionally abusive & controls with threats that keep him in control of all she does! "
First question is...Does she WANT your help and does she NEED help? If she does not want your help then back off. Why get yourself into a situation where she will be angry and you will be frustrated that she is abusive or refuses your help. If she NEEDS help will she accept help from you? If not then another family member should step in. If there are none or they do not want to for ANY reason then let the State take over and she can have a Court Appointed Guardian and they can make all the decisions for her. (not sure if the family would want that if her assets are what you say they are.) Or you become her Guardian and place her in a facility where she will be cared for. Her assets will go to pay for her care, any remaining when she passes will go to heirs. (I do suggest that you talk to an Elder Care Attorney before making any decisions.)
If she is not declared incompetent there really is nothing you can do. Other than getting the situation on the radar of the authorities.
Are you sure she can actually afford the property tax on this real estate? Sometimes people forget that just because you have expensive real estate doesn't mean that you have 2 dimes to rub together, she could be cash poor.
If these properties are important to you then I suggest that you speak to the assessors office and find out how you can buy them and put them in your name before they go to auction for delinquent taxes. It is getting close to the time so you should start before it gets to a point of no return and it will if it is not dealt with.
The person with whom she has a relationship, her husband, partner, boyfriend?
That makes more than 'just us two'. If she chooses the relationship over you, then you have an uphill legal battle.
If he is toxic/abusive and also isolating his own mother from his two siblings, that is elder abuse. Get together with his siblings to stop this criminal act by calling on APS.
There is, at the very least, financial abuse by not keeping up his fiduciary responsibilities to your mother. imo.
"...involved in a relationship that is abusive mentally & hasn't had any medical visits..no doctor & her fathers properties are in serious jeopardy & has abandoned all finance decisions in property she lives & fathers home..property taxes delinquent on both property's..unable to communicate to me & her relationship is toxic & is being isolated from me & he too has elderly parent & is isolating his mother from 2 other siblings..he is not protecting her or helping her & is emotionally abusive & controls with threats that keep him in control of all she does! "
If she does not want your help then back off. Why get yourself into a situation where she will be angry and you will be frustrated that she is abusive or refuses your help.
If she NEEDS help will she accept help from you? If not then another family member should step in. If there are none or they do not want to for ANY reason then let the State take over and she can have a Court Appointed Guardian and they can make all the decisions for her. (not sure if the family would want that if her assets are what you say they are.) Or you become her Guardian and place her in a facility where she will be cared for. Her assets will go to pay for her care, any remaining when she passes will go to heirs. (I do suggest that you talk to an Elder Care Attorney before making any decisions.)
If she is not declared incompetent there really is nothing you can do. Other than getting the situation on the radar of the authorities.
Are you sure she can actually afford the property tax on this real estate? Sometimes people forget that just because you have expensive real estate doesn't mean that you have 2 dimes to rub together, she could be cash poor.
If these properties are important to you then I suggest that you speak to the assessors office and find out how you can buy them and put them in your name before they go to auction for delinquent taxes. It is getting close to the time so you should start before it gets to a point of no return and it will if it is not dealt with.
That makes more than 'just us two'. If she chooses the relationship over you, then you have an uphill legal battle.
If he is toxic/abusive and also isolating his own mother from his two siblings, that is elder abuse. Get together with his siblings to stop this criminal act by calling on APS.
There is, at the very least, financial abuse by not keeping up his fiduciary responsibilities to your mother. imo.
Mom is competent and that makes her fully responsible.