Rosalind, does your Mom already have a Will? A properly written Will would allow for the possibility of a spouse dying first and specify how your Mom's assets should be distributed at her death. In addition, each state has Laws of Intestacy stating who the heirs are in the case there is no Will. A current will or the intestacy rules are often (though NOT always) what the person would want. Keep us posted.
Rosalind, why does a will matter? What matters right now is getting mom the care she needs with the funds she has. Perhaps she can qualify for Medicaid after spending down her current funds on private pay care.
Have you sought advice on contesting dad's will? It's not something I would ordinarily suggesy, but I wonder if you've given that any thought.
Rosalind you have the right intentions, but right now is not the time. Mom needs to mourn her loss and then clear her thinking before she make important decisions like that.
I do understand but mom gets very confused I just want to take care of things before she is diagnosed with dementia, although she talks very clear to me. Thanks so much for your help and support
Asking your mother to write a new will so soon after your fathers passing is a bad idea. As would be expected she is probably emotionally frazzled. Should there be any hard feelings regarding inheritance at the time of your mothers passing there may be legal grounds to challenge her new will - that she was under duress and pressured by you to make changes. Unless your mother is expected to pass in the next few weeks - and her current will leaves everything to your father, leave it and her be for a bit. You both need to grieve and have clear heads before making major decisions. My sympathies on the loss of your father.
Rosalind, go see a lawyer and FIRST go over Dad's Will. If the person he named Executor has health issues, you ask probate court to appoint someone else. Now is not the time to change Mom's Will; first settle Dad's affairs.
Rosalind, you've posted this question 3 times, I think you are feeling a little frazzled. I'm sorry for your very recent loss, take a deep breath and SLOW DOWN, you don't need to rearrange your entire future in 3 days. Even though you want to get things on an even keel and get your life back to normal the reality is that it all takes time. To paraphrase an old proverb, make life changing decisions in haste, repent in leisure.
Have you sought advice on contesting dad's will? It's not something I would ordinarily suggesy, but I wonder if you've given that any thought.