Did anyone ever worry that there are posters on here that lie?

I had one persistent poster keep hinting for a more direct contact than AC. I ignored his request. We corresponded via post but I finally got tired of his request. So, I asked him straight out why he keeps asking for my email. I told him that I don't give that out. He wanted a more personal contact with me than here on AC. I refused. Well, that was that. He left it up to me to carry on the conversation. Which I stopped when mom passed away. Was he a catfish? I don't know. I think he was a lonely much older man than I am. I think he just wanted friendship. But then again, I was getting hit by an older man at Kmart and didn't know it. I just thought he was being too friendly and exaggerating by saying how beautiful i was....then there was that time I didn't even know the bagman was trying to find ways to carry my grocery bags to my car. The cashier kept giggling. So, maybe my read of the poster here on AC could be off just like those other two.

Equillot, I giggled at your post. People nowadays do not honor the marriage vows. Maybe that's why he was persistent. You're one of those rare people who knows what love/loyalty/marriage vows mean.

I tend to believe everyone. I take their words "as is." I've actually had one poster here warn me to be careful since I seem to think everyone is my friend. Well, except for the few who had hurt me. You would think I would learn my lesson but I don't. Even my 21 year old niece rolled her eyes when I told her how shocked I was to be attacked here. She says this happens everywhere - on all forums.

For me, I really don't care if they're a catfish - as long as they don't attack other people on this site and hurt them. I'm glad that I'm no longer suicidal. I wouldn't have been able to handle the attacks. But I do worry so much when I see others attacking others here on AC. I've seen over and over, after being attacked, how the newcomers ask for AC to delete them from here. They came here for help and instead got attacked. I have lost 3 of them so far. How sad....

Interesting thread. Yes, I'm new here. No, I'm not a catfish. (I too just learned that term recently.)

For any female who gets an email from ANY guy wanting to "start a friendship", "be pals" or anything at all like that, PLEASE be very, very careful.

I have a friend, in her 50's, who went onto match.com and posted a profile. Next thing you know, some guy contacted her. This woman is the naïve, vulnerable type. Within two weeks, she was "in love". Within another WEEK she was "engaged" and looking forward to living happily ever after with the man of her dreams. Whom she had never laid eyes on!

I'm not even going to go into the rest of it, but it was a "romance scam". The latest and greatest out of Ghana and Nigeria. Thankfully, he only got her for $160. She balked when he next asked her to send him $1,000.

Lots and lots of info on this particular scam at "romancescams.org" and also at "scamvictims.com".

As far as this site having a catfish, IMHO if you are sure about it, I think you should post the info and let the chips fall where they may.

Guys, I really am not worried about this. Seriously. It was a fun show and I was bored and I found out we had a catfish on here. Someone who lies. Someone who has created a whole web of lies and fake personnas. It was terribly easy to find out. I was sick in bed with a horrible cold and BORED -so bored so I google image searched some stuff and WHAMMO -there it was. It was very interesting. I just wondered after reading the lies, if anyone on here would care. This was awhile ago. This thread just resurfaced.
I am not going to out the person. It is really just sad, IMO.
Now-can we please talk about Capnhardass as his stint at Goodwill. Heehee. Like calicargiver said we need a fun , humorous, thread , momkeeper -you can ignore this thread if you want.

Momskeeper, you are right -I do need a hobby! Worrying is not such a good one, but either is being snotty. Maybe you could sit with my girl, she has a great sense of humor!

Personally, I don't really worry about it or care. I have too much going on in my life going on with my Mom to worry if someone is being untrue.

It's funny...because I thought about starting a "humor only" discussion. But, I can see that it has already taken on a life of its own. I need this...I really need this! I spend so much time trying to make my boss happy, and make her laugh that it's nice to have something to laugh about myself. It relieves a lot of penned up stress. Hey hard ass...maybe you should've tried "apple pie shots" diluted with Everclear! The judge surely would've been sympathetic to that!...oh, wait a minute...that's a Christmas drink. Never mind.....🚤🚤🚤🚤

So if I am being hones I have found tho lately that I tend to mix things up or be off a bit about lil things n details, major stuff stick pretty close tho. Would never intentionally lie...just the old age setting in for me...oh gosh ma here I come to join ya in your lil world....

Have you ever thought about what they think about when they are in there own little world....is anything going on and they are just not able to articulate it or is nothing going on, in their heads..idk that just popped up in my mind!

Maybe 24-7 caring for 97 year old Mom the past 3 years has damaged my sense of humor but you sound like you need a hobby. Better yet, come on over and sit with Mom. She isn't happy unless she has something to worry about and you two would get along great.

When I need to escape 'paradise" here, I volunteer to do the publicity for AIDS Ride South Africa the past four years. Then I feel like any circumstances of mine are miniscule compared to what people put up with. There are always people out there worse off than we are.

I am not concerned if someone lies... after caregiving for a million years, you just get a 'feel' for who is truly asking for help, or who has wonderful and loving suggestions.... and yes there is drama, doubt any forum is without it, but admin keeps a good eye out for us, and doesn't allow too much nonsense to go on.... basically we are all too tired and jaded to fall for BS.....

Yes I asked myself when reading your question is what would be the benefit of "catfishing". But to eventually run a scam. I would def be weary if it lead to someone trying to scam me...but I believe how comatose I feel, I wouldn't fall for it! Or if it led to any other hurtful behavior. but otherwise, although insincere, and I don't approve of it. what is the real damage...and maybe they are the one who ends up helping someone in need! IDK....still honesty is the best policy!

Why the hell would anyone want to use this blog for bullshit would be beyond me.

Sorry. I guess there is axxholes like that out there. I suggest don't give your phone number or where you live.

I don't think it's an issue what people, real or fake, post on the list. I think the real issue is what happens when people become online friends with other list members. It's important, imo, to take internet friendships, including platonic friendships, slowly and carefully and try to be certain what's real before becoming too emotionally invested in the friendship.

lol goodwill gig.

I had never heard the term 'catfish' before now.

I think someone said that on any forum online there are people who lie. For whatever reason. To make themselves prettier or to make themselves feel as if they're right about everything. I guess there are a number of reasons why someone would lie.

But lying about being a caregiver is a pretty silly thing to lie about. I'm sure there are other forums online where attention-seeking behavior has a pay off but if someone signs up here just to be part of a community, in this case a caregiving community, that's a pretty sad little lie. I can see if someone were on, say, a cancer support forum and they lied about having cancer. They'd get lots of attention and get to be a victim = an emotional pay off albeit a sick one. But what's the pay off here? We're all caregivers and a catfish on this forum would just be one among many.

But to answer your question, no, I wouldn't care if someone were skulking around here, pretending to be a caregiver. I don't want to confuse by saying I would condone it, I just really wouldn't care one way or another.

As far as outing a catfish it'd be awfully tempting to do so I must admit and if a person were caught lying I would think they'd just slink off the forum never to be heard from again. I can't imagine someone being outed and then standing their ground.

So to recap: I don't care if there's a catfish lurking around. And if there is, out them if you'd like to get rid of them. If they're not causing any drama and are just desperate to belong they'd be pretty benign so to out or not to out? Whatever you think is best.

:-)

my god i just realized my pic would pass for a catfish if the moustache ends were longer..

Well, hi Capnhardass!!! You look like your picture of that Prince whoever guy!!! Except for the tee shirt! You and your run ins with the law!!! Haha. I think you look very nice. Next time smile!
It is nice to see all these faces attached to their posts! Maybe I will put mine back up or another one.

oh well. the only other pic i have is one of myself doing community service at a goodwill store. of course that deserves an explaination itself. lets just say do not cram your hovercraft thru marion indiana at 1 am washing down zans with everclear. judge haas is a real flat tire, man..

ill post my pic but please keep in mind it was taken in 2007 and i was on a particularily horrid hepc treatment and i look pretty gaunt. also i was as phsycotic as a shithouse rat. lol

AlwaysMyDuty - I refuse to give the heels away - they are the last vestige of my youth. I still have visions of getting in shape and dancing the night away, in heels, much like they do in Dancing With The Stars - even though I've NEVER danced like that lol.

And Christina, that 30 lbs came from not exercising. At least it did with me. It came from sitting around the house with Mom and trying to fix foods that would help her gain weight. She didn't gain a whole lot, but I sure did!

It has never occurred to me that anybody would lie on this site. This is not a contest for a free big screen TV. Most of us are overwhelmed, burned out caregivers.

eguillot, I'm laughing my rear end off about the heels. I just went through that same thing last Friday at my step-son's graduation from Navy boot camp. I thought the auditorium was close but nooooo, it was half way across the base. Yikes! My feet still hurt. The heels are now in the Goodwill bag. It's hell to get old hee hee

oh, eguillot, now we are competing to see which one of us is fatter. I see how you are. LOL!! It's the miracle 30 pound scenario. Where the hell did it come from?!
Thanks, Mary:) Love you, dear friend. xo
Welcome, Beth! Most threads are more deep than this one, but I welcome a bit of light-heartedness. The catfish are jumping around here. Just wait...

This was fun, Mishka! You are a darling girl! Even when we are not sure exactly what to do in certain situations, it helps to have support and different opinions. Everyone does care here. Enjoy the Present--it is gone so quickly. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. Maybe not what we expect or hope for, but what we must embrace, as it becomes the present. I'm all philosophized out for the day:) xoxo

Christina, you are a riot!! I love your sense of humor. And thanks, I'm proud to be your Sis, the good one. :-)
Thanks MishkaM for asking this question. Good answers from all.
Welcome, Beth. We have such a good group on AC for the most part. There are some stinkers but I try to just ignore them except for the ones who issue insults and then I have to defend myself. Oh, I learned to defend myself somewhat when taking care of my late mom, the hateful narcissist. Anyway, I read your profile and I was born in Denver. Pretty place!

Hottie! LOL - Well, that picture was taken when I was a little thinner than what I am now. I was still working back then, so hadn't gained the 30+ lbs that I've packed on now. I'll have to put up a more current pic of Mom & me - we just got one the other day when we went out to see Penn & Teller.
Like you, Christina, I hate getting matronly when my mind still thinks I'm a kid. The other night I was all dressed up and went to get some high heels to put on with this fancy outfit I had on (I'd waited almost 2 yrs to have an occasion to wear it), walked one trip around the house and my hips and back were hurting so bad from the heels that I ended up replacing them with flats. Like my Mom says, "Getting old ain't for wimps".

Yes, Always, this is a nice site. I feel like I have learned a lot as well. I came on here because I see that my role with my Mom is changing and going to change even more so. I get very anxious about change. I do not like it! Coming on here helps me get a grip on an unsteady future . It helps me figure out what may happen and what my role may become. Sometimes I worry all night about how I am gong to deal with my aging parent and if I can handle it. I have a horrible tendency to worry about all the things that can go wrong -I spin scenarios in my head that have not even happened and try to fix them. So coming on here and seeing how all you good people handle hard situations really helps me. And I like to help others. I think , because I so often feel that I cannot fix my problems, I try and fix others. :^\

Cricket is my BFF. Met her on the Grossed Out thread. We actually have a real life relationship. Yes, eguillot is very pretty. Being thin helps. Boy, I hate getting matronly in the physical when my brain is still 25. It's humbling. But it does go with the old wise gig I have going on. Mary is also very pretty;) She is my Sis. The good one:)

Seriously Christina! LOL. And I have a picture up on my profile, so it's not like he couldn't see I was 103! Ok, 56. But I even said I'd been happily married for 27 yrs (now 28). So WTF???? I was actually offended when I got the message. Thought about reporting him, but he didn't say anything that could be taken as offensive. So I figured I'd just ignore him and he'd get the message, and he did. Very weird. It's not like I'm even slightly youngish lol