Did anyone ever worry that there are posters on here that lie?

Nah, I don't worry about it. I assume some people on here lie. If not, it must the only board in cyber space where there are no liars. But we are not sending them money or setting up dates with them or giving them our social security number. So where is the harm? Someone desperate enough to be a catfish on a caregivers support form probably needs attention as much as a real caregiver.

If someone is saying hurtful things to others, we pretty well police that ourselves and also have the option of reporting the hurtful post with a single click. It doesn't really matter whether the hurtful poster is a genuine caregiver or an imposter. Nasty comments get lots of feedback and can eventually get the poster kicked off.

If I knew for sure that someone claiming to take care of both parents and making nasty comments to other was really a college student who doesn't even call her parents except for money I would be inclined to report that to the site administrator, but I wouldn't go out of my way to track that down.

It is an interesting topic. Not one I'd lose any sleep over on this particular board, though.

Good to know. I do worry , it is my hobby. :^\. I kinda didn't think , though, that it could cause any harm. But I wanted to see what others thought. Thanks for your feedback, jeannegibbs!!

oh hell yea. my avatar of kaiser wilhelm 11 is so pretty it gives ME an erection. im kiddin with ya mishka. i dont really care what motive one has for visiting these sites. some people just like to be controversial but controversy still provokes discussion and the various views are infinately educational. im a guy who already gets some pretty skeptical looks from hospice and docs so i want to do an exceptionally good job of caregiving just to teach em a lesson about judging people based on their appearance. its as ignorant as racism and just as damaging..

What would be the point of a lie on this forum? With caregiving, real life can be stranger than fiction. so I have to say honestly that I have never read a post or a story and thought to myself...that's gotta be a lie.

I wouldn't worry too much.

( sigh ) im such a sarcastic d**k. just funnin with ya mishka. i think your very sweet..

Soooo, I told my husband about my question and he said people are going to think I am a catfish, I am not, I am actually brutally honest -it is part of my OCD. I worry if I lie something bad will happen. If I were going to be a catfish I sure as shite would not make me have OCD and a drinking problem.

So, two votes for who cares. Interesting! Good to know. Thanks Capnhardass!! You actually make a good point. In fact that is the basis behind the term catfish. This documentary filmmaker talks with the husband of the lady who was portraying herself as a young single beautiful woman and the guy goes "on fishing boats that catch cod the cod was dying in the barrels because they would not swim around once captured. So they added catfish. The catfish make the cod swim, they are the catalysts" or something like that -I paraphrased. IOW these catfish keep things lively.

I did or think you were being a d**k, capnhardass! Maybe I misread your post haha.
So three for not to worry. Thanks Tony!! But , really, I was more interested in not, do you think there is a catfish but rather, if there is would that be OK. But still good answer!

Not or, meant did "not" to you cap and thanks for the sweet statement. I fear I come off rather nutty! But , again, I just cannot lie so...

OKAY-I am an idiot!!! I just got your profile change Capnhardass!!! Hahahahahahahhahahahahaha !

Tony, you are pretty new here. A year or more ago there was a real doozie that went on for weeks, soap-opera style. It was pretty entertaining, actually. Anyone who didn't want to waste time on it didn't have to, and I saw no other harm in it. Some people gave serious advice, believing it was a true situation or just in case. Some were annoyed and expressed that. And some just went along for the ride.

I worry a little about people maybe holding back a lot of important details about their situation and fishing for encouragement to do something they really know is wrong, and getting it from us if they fish the right way! But worrying makes a bad hobby :-) and I think you just have to keep both heart and brain in gear. But if cap'n hardass turned out to be a real catfish - let's say he is actually a sweet young lady who never kicks anyone's butt in real life - I would be so disillusioned and heartbroken I don't know how I would stand it.

Very interesting, vstefans, I had not thought of that. -the fishing for encouragement part-I seriously doubt Capnhardass is a sweet young lady! Egads! No way. If anything he is more of a bad a22 than we know ;0) ( with a soft heart, tho)

its been fun bein the capn for 13 years but im going to change my truck signs to " criminal mischief " masonry pretty soon. long story. if ya cheat me outta money when im already really treating you well im probably going to run over your lawn hydrant , enjoy the geiser in my rear view mirror and tell the judge i shoulda ran over your throat instead.
wait, this isnt the anger management group. never mind..

vstefans, I think that is why some of us resist a little and prod for more details when something smells fishy. I really don't want to encourage somebody to do something that I wouldn't approve of if I knew the situation better. This is often the case with posters saying how awful their siblings are, especially against siblings who are doing the actual hands-on caregiving. Sometimes their complaints are fully legitimate, but sometimes I suspect that they just want approval for what they themselves know to be selfish, as you say. Another case is when siblings disagree over end-of-life situations, where there seldom is a "right" approach and often no villains, just different sincere beliefs about what is best. Nothing we can do to prevent that, but sometimes I think a little probing is appropriate.

Yes, jeannegibbs, I often wish we could get the other sibling on here to tell their side. I actually almost said that to a post tonight but held my tongue, er, fingers. I didn't didn't' post anything to that question instead.

In the interest of honesty I posted my pic for my profile . It is me. I don't know why it is so dark. I used the computer camera. Anyone eles brave enough to post their picture? The real you? Come on, some have already!!

But MishkaM, how do we know that is you? If you are a catfish you could use anyone's picture! LOL.

Some people do post their own pictures. Some people post a picture of the person they are caring for. (Wish I knew which was which sometimes.) Some people post a picture of something they like, and many people don't post a picture at all.

Does it matter?

No, not really. I don't want to post a picture of my family as I talk so openly about them and I don't think it right. But, eh, for me, well. This is a new picture and cannot be traced to any other site so no one would know who I really am. Mishka is a nick name -not my real name. I just want to protect my family as I talk about them a lot.

Is it me or not? Good question. You can do a google image search and see if I snatched it off of another site . But I didn't . You'll have to trust me :0)

I think that it's a very strange place to be a poser on. I mean, if I were going to be a poser, it wouldn't be on a website for the aging & caregiver support! I'd look for some unique, jet-setting, artistic, mega wealthy, power hungry, global shaping, forum that held everyone's interest & admiration. I'd make my poser untouchable, unacheivable, and surreal. I'd have stories of espionage, mystery, and world changing events. I'd associate with royalty, be ridiculously wealthy, possess the ultimate in higher education from the best schools, and boast of my philanthropy, and 12 languages I mastered. Finally, I would make my beauty & sexiness beyond reproach, and my resistance to commitment unpenetrable. I would be the Queen of the Universe! And, then it would be time to make my boss lunch, and I would float back down to my loft less world of being a good caregiver....:)

Sounds lovely ,calicargiver! I guess the point of a catfish is to escape their real life , huh? I personally think that a person could be a catfish on here because it gives them the opportunity to either A- garner sympathy or B- act like an expert and hand out judgments. Awww,, heck, now I sound like a catfish again!!!! ;0)

Has anyone seen that movie/documentary yet? Or the TV series that followed it. The movie was really interesting but GET THIS--- now there is speculation that the movie itself is a hoax! Well, sorta. The documentary is supposed to be the real life , real time experience of this guy named Nev ( who my husband says I have a crush on--do not. ;0) who falls in love with this beautiful 20 something girl on line only to find out it is a 40 something ( oh, the horror -an OLD forty something- I am 41 hee hee) woman who is married with 2 children with severe disabilities. Some people say the whole thing is staged others say Nev picked up that the woman was not who she says from the get go and decided to string her along and film it and others say it is a true documentary. I think it is probably staged some but, overall, a true story.

I once convinced a whole room of peers-teenagers from a town I did not live in-that I was Amish. They were making fun of the Amish people that lived near them. And I was getting mad so I turned to my friend and said-"go with this" and I told them how I was Amish and met my friend and how she would meet me and I would change at her house and then go out. They totally bought it!! The whole party got quiet and was listening to me - at first it started out as a conversation between me and the two or three guys that were cracking on the Amish. Then everyone stopped what they were doing and started asking me all kinds of questions!!! I had to think fast. I got myself in pretty deep!!!! LOL . All I wanted to do was make those few guys feel bad for saying such judgy things and I ended up practically do a presentation on life as an Amish teen! Thank goodness I took acting lessons!!

Maybe that is what happens. Someone comes on to a forum or a comments section of an article to answer and posts something not quite true to make a point and then has to build on that and defend that lie with another and pretty soon they are a whole different person. I hope that , if there were a catfish, that person would know that they are a valuable person without the subterfuge. That honesty is better. That being an expert is not always a good thing. That using pictures of someone that is not you is wrong, on any forum or social website. Hypothetically speaking.

OMG. NO, I have never lied about anything. I tend to minimize my problems when I had my Mother with us because I could not believe things were that awful.
I have read a few posts that made my jaw drop, but mostly in a way that I could not imagine anyone taking the crap they do here, think it's "normal" and the caregiver posts that they go through WWIII and are so thankful to be doing it. BS!!! Now I'm running out of the house screaming pulling my hair out! Not really. Am I a catfish?

I'm really new to this forum and came here because I need some sort of way or place to talk about what I'm going through specific to the issue of caring for me parents. I'm pretty active on Twitter, Instagram, Foursquare, GetGlue and Facebook. I've been active in those networks so long it's kind of difficult for me to make up a story without someone I know outing me catching an inconsistency or something that sounds made up.

There are so many interactive forums on the internet, I can't imagine why someone would find this particular forum an interesting place to troll. But like others have said, there probably are some trolls on here as there are everywhere on the internet.

OK, Mishka, I'm going to change my avatar from my Mother when she was in her 20s to Cricket and me last fall. When the wedding photos come back, if there are any good ones of me, I'll post one. Now that I am old and fat, I don't look so good anymore:((( WHAAA That's the TRUTH!

I had someone send me a message saying they wanted to get together with me (in a romantic way) despite the fact that I was twice his age, happily married and lived across the country from him and only responded to one of his postings. I chose to ignore the message and any further postings from him. I think he could be a catfish.

No , Christina , you are not a catfish!!! Haha. I can't lie now-seriously-with my OCD if I lie I think something bad will happen. But I used to lie a lot as a teen. Just to get out of trouble. I was little bit of a wild child.
Beth, Hi, welcome to the forum!!! I am so glad you made your way to the forum. I hope this thread doesn't bother you! This is a nice place overall and a great place to vent and get advice!! Yes, with the Internet it would be hard to stay hidden. I did not use my real name on here-but a nickname as I did not want to talk about my Mom's mental and physical disabilities and have it come back to her real identity through me. But I did get comfortable and post a real picture of me but it had not been used anywhere but here. IDK. It is a brave new world in many ways.

Love your picture. Very pretty. I like when posters use their own picture because I like to "see" the person I am "talking "too. But I got sick of seeing my own face. Haha.

eguillot... ?!?! OK. whatever you say, Babe. When I was on Twitter I had a few young guys tweeting me in a flirty way, but I'm immature, so I think I came across sounding young. Not like I do here, very old and very wise. Ahem. Only one old guy flirted with me there. I googled him. heehee:)))

It'd be pretty pathetic to troll here but stranger things have happened. If trolling is their hobby who am I to say they can't do it? I figure they may not be "real" but most of the rest of us are. And what I've learned on this site has been so enlightening! I've seen what I should've done, what I shouldn't have put up with and what I can carry into the future as my husband's health is failing. Can't put a price tag on that. If a troll asked a question, and it helped me find answers, more power to them.
I am like Christina, I have held back some of my details because they're too painful and hurtful to even imagine I lived them but I have unfortunately. Trolls or not, I enjoy coming here.

OHHH, you guys posted while I was posting! Haha. Love the profile pic Christina!!! Who is Cricket? Both of the ladies are lovely on this photo!!!
Equillot-WOW- I guess I would be flattered but kinda freaked out. You hottie you!!!! Love your picture too!!!!

Seriously Christina! LOL. And I have a picture up on my profile, so it's not like he couldn't see I was 103! Ok, 56. But I even said I'd been happily married for 27 yrs (now 28). So WTF???? I was actually offended when I got the message. Thought about reporting him, but he didn't say anything that could be taken as offensive. So I figured I'd just ignore him and he'd get the message, and he did. Very weird. It's not like I'm even slightly youngish lol

Cricket is my BFF. Met her on the Grossed Out thread. We actually have a real life relationship. Yes, eguillot is very pretty. Being thin helps. Boy, I hate getting matronly in the physical when my brain is still 25. It's humbling. But it does go with the old wise gig I have going on. Mary is also very pretty;) She is my Sis. The good one:)