I'm worried this in law who has POA now is trying to ruin me. Any advice?

You need supporting witnesses who will testify to your good character. The postponements are in your favor, because there is time for others to observe your mother's dementia, including the MD's at the nursing home. It will become very clear that she is confused. The truth always emerges in the end.

Mmn. I hadn't watched the YouTube videos until just now.

I don't think they help very much. I don't, either, think they suggest abuse; but they do indicate that you're still trying to deal with your mother as though she was a fully competent adult in a reasonable frame of mind. Since the subject was your allegation that she had said she wanted to kill you - the sort of thing one tends to say in the heat of an angry moment - it isn't surprising that she wasn't keen to discuss it. She apologised to shut you up.

For future reference, if you want to have a meaningful conversation with anybody, but especially an older person, turn off the TV first.

sigh, the more the public becomes educated about dementia the better things will become. hospice for instance is already trained to spot the inconsistancies in an elders wild allegations. as difficult as it is with the paranoia and all , the more self confident you can be, the better. ya haveta stand up to people. one hospice nurse was forever implying that i was a parasite, being a wild looking male caregiver. i finally whipped out my pic book and showed the lady my own home which made hers look like a dump and i can say that without ever seeing hers. people are inherantly stupid, you haveta educate them.

Prior to NH is there any medical history or diagnosis that supports dementia?
Even anecdotal evidendence from neighbors that support your character or her condition? Can you get and different lawyer?

I'm going to be honest.. I watched your video and it made me sad. You need to learn more about dementia and proper care giving!

When you repeatedly asked Mom about her comment about killing you should have ignored the comment and changed the subject.. The only thing you did was continue asking what she said so you could prove some self satisfying point! She is not acting this way on purpose! If this is how you handle her outbursts then she is much better in a NH..

Posting your mother in a video on youtube without her consent can be a violation of her privacy. Considering your legal problems, I would remove them. Her POA could sue you on your mother's behalf for invasion of privacy. Considering you are having problems with this POA, why add to your legal problems.

A restraining order cannot be made legal for a year or more without a court proceeding where a judge rules on the evidence. You should have been notified and had the option to appear and defend yourself. Did this happen?

Outside of dealing with that issue, I'd say make sure you have stability for your own life first on where to live and finances and deal with the situation with your mother later. It sounds like the basics are being taken care of for her so maybe it's okay to sort things out on your end first.

Assache, I appreciate your judgement, and I agree that the video is sad, and something I'm not proud of, but thank god I have video of the combativeness, and behavior issues associated with dementia. Her mentioning, I was doing all the TALKING is important, and her obsession of trying to run out the house on her own is important as well. Am I perfect? NO Am I the best caregiver in the world? NO I did my very best, and love my mother with all my heart, and have been by her side 24/7/365 without an ounce of help for 10 years, and gave her a life she otherwise never would of had.

You poor sod.

First, re-read PStegman's comment. She's right, and you should be comforted. Just try to keep calm, because while the truth will out it does sometimes take its sweet time about it.

So you're back in your house, good. I don't know what your main source of income is: has it been affected by all this? Do you just need to sit tight and tide yourself over 'til the next instalment, or do you need to take more active steps? What about friends locally, can they lend you a hand?

Even if the current NH is refusing to test for dementia, you have medical records of mini-strokes and presumably your own records of your mother's deterioration. It's almost as though vascular dementia is a given unless someone can prove otherwise, which sort of puts the boot on the other foot, if you see what I mean. So, if someone wants to prove your mother has got capacity, they'll need to run tests - and the truth of it will out that way.

I'm sorry you haven't had luck with your lawyer. There are some idle rat-bags out there, and you can't tell by looking, unfortunately. Have you tried the Alzheimer's Society's website (it's not just for AD, they cover all the other dementias too) for advice on getting legal help?

I'm also sorry that things went so badly with the police when you were arrested. I expect you were pretty agitated, but it's a pity that the officer you encountered didn't take a look at the whole picture. Messy, complicated, and you get the dirty end of the wrong stick that everyone's got hold of. I'm so sorry.

Like everyone else, I'd like to know where this in-law fits into the picture - it could make a big difference.

This thread says the doctor at this facility is incompetent. Your other thread says she's getting excellent care, yet you're thinking about calling APS because she's not being diagnosed for dementia and therefore somehow being medically abused. It sounds like both you and your mom are now each in a better place. Concentrate on cleaning up your legal problem. You still haven't provided any details on who the in law is or how this person is reportedly trying to ruin you.