I know you can't chose your family but I was wondering if anyone had advice for me. I am embarrassed and ashamed to be related to such money obsessed selfish people.
I often wish I had a very elderly and generous and wealthy great uncle who will die peacefully and leave me scads of money. :-D
That's about the only thing in my family I'd change. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, eh?
Oh, I'd change the brother and SIL to the same people but without the cancer. And I'd like to see my mentally ill brother and nephew restored to full health. But mostly I am satisfied with the family I have. Certainly they don't embarrass me.
I think the same thing all the time. I have two older sisters who are not involved with helping with my Dad. I feel like an only child. The only reason they talk to him is because he has money from the sale of his house.
How can you be embarrassed by something for which you have no responsibility? You didn't ask for them, you don't control or influence them, what they do is nothing to do with you.
But perhaps it would be easier for you if you simply resolve to have nothing further to do with them, can you do that?
If not, your only remaining option is to tell them what you think of them and, slightly more constructively, what standards of behaviour you would have hoped for from them. They'll probably tell you to get stuffed, but at least you'll have tried.
There are many of us here with dysfunctional families. There is nothing you can do to fix it. The only thing you can do is detach from it so it does not have such an impact on you. I kept trying and hoping things would change with my family, but lifetime behaviors will never be overcome unless all want the change.
They are my immediate family. I don't feel responsible for their behavior, I'm just embarrassed to be related to them. I know every family has messed up people in it but I'm very turned off by their actions.
That's about the only thing in my family I'd change. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, eh?
Oh, I'd change the brother and SIL to the same people but without the cancer. And I'd like to see my mentally ill brother and nephew restored to full health. But mostly I am satisfied with the family I have. Certainly they don't embarrass me.
But perhaps it would be easier for you if you simply resolve to have nothing further to do with them, can you do that?
If not, your only remaining option is to tell them what you think of them and, slightly more constructively, what standards of behaviour you would have hoped for from them. They'll probably tell you to get stuffed, but at least you'll have tried.
How closely related are you?!