I have a horrible cold and cough and don't want to give it to her. This is the longest I have gone without seeing her. It's been 3 days and I feel terrible.
You don't say where your mother is living, but if she is in an assisted living or memory care facility, please stay home until you are well. Many of the residents of these facilities are in fragile health, and don't need the added stress of a viral illness. Also, it is hard on the staff to care for multiple residents who are ill. If she is in a facility you know that she is being fed and cared for, so you can stay home and take care of yourself.
If your mom is living in her own home, could you ask someone else to visit and check on her for a few days until you are better?
My mom has been in assisted living with worsening dementia for almost five years. She cannot remember my visits, so even if I was there an hour ago, she will call and ask me why it has been so long since I was there. When I ask how long it has been, she will say several weeks or even several months, so I have decided that it really doesn't matter how often I visit as long as I make sure that she has everything that she needs. If your mom's dementia is at the same stage, she will not know how long it has been since your last visit. Rest up, get well and then take her a little treat the next time you visit. She will focus on the treat and not even think about the time since your last visit.
I'm in the same type of situation except I caught my cough from my mom. Plus we had freezing rain last night - it might start melting by this afternoon though. I've got supplies I need to take her - but it's really nothing that can't wait a day. I'm thinking I'm gonna skip today and shoot for tomorrow. Maybe you should do the same. Honestly I don't think my mom will really notice the difference. Often when I visit she'll say "it's been so long..." When I was actually there two days before. Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself and wouldn't you feel worse if you passed your cold on to your mom or another resident or staff? Nasty germs spread like wildfire in tight living quarters like AL and NHs. Even a simple cold could turn into a serious illness with the elderly - do everyone a favor and tuck you and your hacking cough back into bed. Can you call your mom instead? Get well soon!
If your mom is living in her own home, could you ask someone else to visit and check on her for a few days until you are better?
My mom has been in assisted living with worsening dementia for almost five years. She cannot remember my visits, so even if I was there an hour ago, she will call and ask me why it has been so long since I was there. When I ask how long it has been, she will say several weeks or even several months, so I have decided that it really doesn't matter how often I visit as long as I make sure that she has everything that she needs. If your mom's dementia is at the same stage, she will not know how long it has been since your last visit. Rest up, get well and then take her a little treat the next time you visit. She will focus on the treat and not even think about the time since your last visit.