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My husband has heart prob 3 bypass, diabetes, gout, and now cancer! 7 surgery. he eats with a feeding tube! 29 years am tired.? and how can I have a life again will I ever? I am 70 not much time left

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Will it end? Yes it will end and it will be a relief to you and to all that have cared for your loved one. My mom just died on Sunday after a long battle with Alz. I was there and watched her pass over. I am so glad she doesn't need to suffer any more. She was bad off for the past 8 years and was no longer able to eat, drink or blink her eyes. Alz. is a horrible disease that affects the entire family, from when they are first diagnosed and become paranoid (people stealing from them) to the moderate stage where they become, often, mean and angry, to the end stage where they can no longer do anything for themselves. So yes, it will end, and you will be sad and tired and relieved that it is finally over. Blessings to all, Linda
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I have no answers. I just want to offer you a hug.
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I know you're tired. It sounds like your husband is quite the fighter. It is hard watching them having to fight one more battle. I can imagine that you are ready for some relief. Did his doctor let you know anything about his prognosis? Will the feeding tube always be needed, or is it a temporary thing?

How you are feeling is so normal. We feel guilty thinking it, so many times people don't admit it. But I know many people understand exactly how you feel. Big hugs of comfort coming your way. I know down the road there is light for you.
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Yes it will end and there should be no shame in thinking/wishing all the pain would just stop. Have you spoken to a doctor for yourself? Sometimes meds are very helpful when treating depression. Do you have any help with your husband? If not would family be willing to give you a break so you could have sometime to yourself? I really hope you get some help, being a caregiver can be very hard and all-consuming. I wish you all the best to you and your husband.
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came home tonight and went into my bed room all my sweats pants and shirts were clean and folded on my bed!!!!id you washed my sweats?? he sais yes if you wore them one more night I was going take you to the homeless shelter!!! love this guy
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I think those thoughts come with burnout and depression. Depression of wanting our lives back how they were. I have those thoughts daily. Just wishing it would all end. I feel so ashamed at te same time. Guilt for having those thoughs yet guilt and resentment for not feeling I can be with my 5 kids as much. Feel like I'm losing at both ends. I know it will end but realistically it could be years. My kids will be grown. 😔
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Yes it will end, but try to remember every day is a gift. Find one happy moment each day and carry it with you. When he is gone, you collect all those happy moments and cling to them.
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For Christmas my daughter did a wonderful thing for us. She had people send her statements of things they remembered about us. not together but about each of us. She copied all of them and put each in a enveloped one to be opened each day!!! 32 each has been fun! some have made me laugh, some made me cry, some was WTH I never knew that, those were from my kids friends.
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I definitely sympathize with you. I am not in the same situation but my 93 year old mother drives me crazy!!! She keeps saying she wants to die. She is not sick but she is getting frail. Sometimes I wish she could just join my father who passed away six years ago. Then I feel guilty and ashamed. I can't say this to anyone. All her friends have died and she is all alone. She stays on her bed reading all day. Not interested in a senior center. Just goes on errands with me. My daughter works full time so has no time for my mother. My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how hard it is. Sending you love and hugs . Please don't feel guilty. You are human.
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I wish you all the best -- hopefully this new year will bring us all more love and compassion and above all the strength we need to continue in our caregiving modes. Happy new Year everyone! and blessings to all! Linda
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