Will it always hurt??

Nance, my deepest sympathies on the loss of your mother. My mother passed on May 7th. My comfort is knowing that my mother is no longer suffering stuck in a wheelchair, or searching for what to say, or feeling lost, and that she is at HOME with God finally, which is where she wanted to be.

My mother will live on in me, and your mother can live on in you and all we do for others. I will make sure that others know about her experience, and how I learned from it, and be sure to do what I can to help family and strangers alike.

The pain of losing our mother may never truly be gone, for death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

I truly believe that Mom is not gone, just gone ahead!

Wow-now that Mom is gone, my two sisters that never helped out, blame me for her passing. I'm 71, Mom had to be placed in a NH the last 9 months because I couldn't handle it anymoe.
The 2 sisters have large homes, they refused to take her-I have a 1 bedroom apartment, Mom and I lived in the same apartment building, she on 3rd floor, I on 1st.
I took care of her for 20 years, they would visit twice a year, no, they do not live out of State. Their ages 61 and 59.
Guess I just wanted to vent--is this ever a winning situation ??

It's been a bit over 5 weeks since Mom died, I thought placing her ashes in their final resting place was hard but I'm finding out that time really hurts. Her unconditional love for me is gone forever-the visits- the hugs-everything.
When dementia took her personality-at least her body was here to see and love.
Bless all you caregivers and enjoy the time you have left with your loved one.

oh nance , im so sorry about u losing ur mother . i just now saw this .
sorry that ur sisters blaming u . what do they know ?? they re not the ones that cared for her like u did . u done what u could and at ur age , bless ur heart .
it is hard work to take care of elders , im only 48 and i do feel like im 90 yrs old at the times . wear and tear on my body and it is a hard job carin for elders .
thank u for tellng us to enjoy the times we have left with our love ones . im feeding my dad tomatoe soup and grill cheese , u can just hear him say ohh mmmm yumm ohhh yummm , :-)
bless your heart and take care xoxox

I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. I lost my mother July 2 of this year....That is my question will it always hurt.....
I have good and bad days.....but it seems as time goes on the days are harder....it has been 6 weeks ....and it seems like forever....I went to a support group the other day....they say the first year is the hardest....but what about the years to follow....
I will keep you in my prayers....
and to those that are still being caregivers...it is rough at the time...but it is well worth it...

The first year is the hardest particularly holidays and special days.Your in shock first and numbed out and then the reality sets in.Thats when the saddness and intense grief start up [its very normal to feel this way]You question yourself if you did everything right. Nance, that is what your sisters are going through[guilt of not being there] and they are trying to ease their hurt through you.You will feel over whelmed at first,besides losing your best friend there will be a void and your daily routine that gives you comfort changes,but its only temporary.Once the reality hits,you'll get a new routine,you'll rejoice in your wonderful memories and your mother will live through you until ya'll met again.The process is different for different people. I wept for months,particularly when I was alone.I felt like a little girl,I wanted my mama.When my mom lost her mom at 103 she also felt the same way.

Thank you all for your support-I truly feel like a crying machine this week, even cried like a baby reading your replies and I'm not the pity party type of person---

Nance... the best way to honour your mother's life is to try to help others learn from your experience. That is why I still come here. I have found comfort crocheting. I feel closer to my mother when I am crocheting.

The pain of losing our mother is one that can't be explained to those that didn't have a close relationship with their mother. But I honour my mother's life by doing for others.

With regards to your sisters, try not to worry too much about what they think. I have 'siblings' that have one their interests at heart. But again, I try to maintain my dignity by not playing into their hands.

Stay strong my friend. And may God comfort you and help you.

Nance, what is also working against you is that you have been doing this so long, you're probably completely 'at sea' as to how to live normally again. Give yourself time, be thankful you don't have the regrets that your siblings certainly have and go ahead and cry. At some point you'll pull yourself up again and start thinking about the future. Till then, it is what it is...grief/life.