Follow
Share

The Doctor has already said surgery. My mother said NO to that. I am her daughter, so will I be responsible under the law if the problem causes her death?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Whetever sort of surgery are we talking here, on an 86 year old, that without it, could be life threatening? And at 86, shouldn't she have that option to say no to it? I would if I were her!
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

What was the doctor's response when she decided against the surgery? Did he suggest you get hospice involved? At her age I can understand that she feels she has had a full life ans isn't willing to go through surgery.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

If your mom has not been declared incompetent - then she is capable of making decisions for herself, even if the decisions are poor ones.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Benevelynt, no it is not your fault. She is free to choose. If you have siblings, make sure you are all on the same page. I would also refuse surgery at 86, but I would protect you by putting that in writing by signing a MOLST. (medical orders for life sustaining treatment). Ask the MD.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I would think that it's common for an 86 year-old to refuse surgery. I would make sure you have her Living Will and POA's. I would try to honor her wishes.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I think you're looking for confirmation that you will not be liable for whatever happens if your mom does not have the surgery - and you will not be. The advice to put a POA (power of attorney – sometimes called a healthcare proxy) in place is something you would do now before your mom becomes incompetent, so down the road you will not have this issue. However, it seems you and your mom have a difference in opinion on her care so she may resist a POA to you and/or be very rigid in her instructions in the POA - and you would have to follow those instructions. So be mindful of that. Guardianship is only an option if you believe someone is incompetent and is a danger to themselves and you petition a court to grant you the legal right to make medical and financial decisions for them. In this case, your mom seems competent so that's not an option. You mostly have to just live with whatever decision she makes at this point.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Do you have POA for your Mom? Is she competent? Does she have a DNR in place? Like kimber said, if she is competent it is her decision. If not and if you do not have POA either Mom needs to execute one or the only option is guardianship.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

If hospice isn't necessary then why are you worried about her dying at home? From what I've read the #1 regret people have about hospice is that they didn't call soon enough. They are so much more than a support for the final days, they offer social workers, chaplains, respite care and they make sure all the paperwork is in place for an expected death in the home. It wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I would have POA's and LIving Will since it's possible she may get sick and be unable to say what she wants. If she is not able to speak or write,, then the Living Will and Healthcare POA, will be needed.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I still wonder why you don't disclose the surgery. That is the most important fact in responding to this post. Also living 15 years beyond age 86 begs the question of quality of life. Enjoy life to 90 without surgery vs extend life to 95 and not be independent. Who knows without knowing your mom's recommended surgery. I think it is absurd to speculate or discuss without that info!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter