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My grandma is 68 soon. Today I lost my temper with her and yelled, she hasn't been out of bed much at all in the last 6 months. I doubt she'd had a bath for nearly a year until today. She had a bowel movement on her bed, I had asked her if she went to the bathroom after I smelt something. She lied and said no. So I can went about my business, eventually I had her get up... it was everywhere. So I yelled and got upset that she lied and continued laying in it, I made her get into the shower. After finishing her shower on our way back to her room, she wouldn't stand up straight and walk. She was leaning back and walking all oddly as I held onto her, eventually she slipped into the floor. I got her up once but then she fell again, and I didn't have the strength to lift her without her help. I ended up calling a nursing home and asking them if she could be admitted, after that.. she walked fine and got up easily. I wish I knew what was wrong with her or if she's just lazy? It makes me feel so bad yelling at her, but I don't know what else to do.

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Your grandmother is quite young. Can you tell us if she has a physical health history or a mental health history?
Are you her caregiver?
Does your grandmother take medications?
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If grandma is perfectly fine after hearing you on the phone to a nursing home, then she's playing you, plain and simple. I have no idea what's medically or mentally wrong with her, so a doctor should definitely diagnose her, but based on her behavior, SOMETHING is wrong! You enabling this type of behavior is not a good idea, either. Perhaps laying down the law and telling her, in no uncertain terms, you WILL take a shower 2x per week, you WILL come down to the kitchen eat your meals or you will not be eating, etc etc.. Maybe then she will understand you mean business. She'll need to know if this type of behavior goes on much longer, that you will have NO OTHER CHOICE but to have her placed in a facility where she can be cared for 24/7 by a whole team of professionals. That you are in no mood to do that.

She may change her tune quickly, she may not. Again, a doctor's evaluation will be very beneficial so you'll know exactly what you're dealing with here. A bit of tough love in the meantime is warranted, in my opinion, based on her being perfectly fine after hearing you on the phone. I call bologna on that.

Good luck!
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I agree that your gramma is pretty young to be displaying "dementia" symptoms, but it's not impossible. I would take her in for a physical, make sure they test for a UTI (because one symptom can be confusion and behavior changes) and discretely discuss your concerns about her not getting out of bed and hopefully they'll do a cognitive exam or refer her on for other testing. It would be cruel to treat her as a "lazy liar" if she's really not. There's no way to know for sure. She may not have dementia or ALZ but may have a mental health issue. FYI dementia patients can have an odd gate (my aunt has it, sort of shuffles funny), but I think that's usually in the moderate stage. She may have neuro issues that affect her balance and stride. I hope you can figure it out so you know what you're dealing with -- and for your gramma's sake!
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