My Mom is 92, living in a private home that gives elder care. She has dementia, is unable to walk, even with a walker, is incontinent. She has times when she gets very combative and abusive; slides out of her chair to the floor, crawls around, screams, hits, refuses to eat or drink or take meds. She is on Ativan, so when she gets like this, the fact that she won't eat or drink only makes the craziness worse. The aides at the home can't do anything with her at these times. We're afraid they're going to kick her out, and we have absolutely no other options for her (have been on a waiting list for the only decent local nursing home for over a year).
The owner of the care home suggested that we call our Dr. and ask him to write a prescription for Hospice Care, which he did. Someone came and evaluated Mom. We got a phone call on Friday that she will not be accepted for care-- she doesn't qualify. This is heartbreaking for us-- the help that they said they could give (regulating meds, seeing that she gets out to the porch or out for a wheelchair walk, chaplain visits, help with Medicaid (we're almost out of money for Mom's care), keeping her calm--) all sounded like the answer to our prayers. Now we're back at square one. Or rather square one hundred. We were told that she needed two "qualifiers"-- we thought the dementia and her weight loss (she's down to 127 from about 160) would be enough. But the hospice woman said that since she was eating (the day she saw her), the weight loss doesn't apply. Any suggestions? Thanks.
Hospice is helpful, they provide patient comfort and pallative care, but it is intended as an end stage.
Your mom may not be there yet, physically. A NH for dementia may be a better fit for your mom. Hospices tend to be staffed for more near end, less combative patients.
The second company correctly saw colon cancer was her main issue, and she even had a new palpable lump in her gut. Dementia is a secondary diagnosis with them, and she was accepted.
My advice is to have her evaluated by a second hospice. If there is some diagnosis besides dementia that can be her primary diagnosis, that is the way to approach it.
It didn't sound like you are battling any life threatening illnesses? Maybe see if the Dr would call and give a better description to the Hospice facility. If not, try...try again. : )
Keep asking. Talk to the Dr's nurse or case manager they may be more helpful and understanding than the doc.
If I understood what you meant by a private care, I think these are small facilities, and they likely do not want to deal with a complicated case.
Best of luck
My heart really goes out to you!! My father was admitted to a rehab facility and we were told that "patients with Dementia getting over an infection have no reason being back in the ALZHEIMER'S and Dementia Ward... He was not even there 24 hours before they put him in the ALZHEIMER'S and Dementia ward locked down. I was not happy... He was sick, he didn't need to be there....
The Nursing Homes we visited were ok ; however, the wards were locked and the nurses were young and did not communicate with patients unless they had to!! Not impressed!
thank you
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