My Mom is 92, living in a private home that gives elder care. She has dementia, is unable to walk, even with a walker, is incontinent. She has times when she gets very combative and abusive; slides out of her chair to the floor, crawls around, screams, hits, refuses to eat or drink or take meds. She is on Ativan, so when she gets like this, the fact that she won't eat or drink only makes the craziness worse. The aides at the home can't do anything with her at these times. We're afraid they're going to kick her out, and we have absolutely no other options for her (have been on a waiting list for the only decent local nursing home for over a year).
The owner of the care home suggested that we call our Dr. and ask him to write a prescription for Hospice Care, which he did. Someone came and evaluated Mom. We got a phone call on Friday that she will not be accepted for care-- she doesn't qualify. This is heartbreaking for us-- the help that they said they could give (regulating meds, seeing that she gets out to the porch or out for a wheelchair walk, chaplain visits, help with Medicaid (we're almost out of money for Mom's care), keeping her calm--) all sounded like the answer to our prayers. Now we're back at square one. Or rather square one hundred. We were told that she needed two "qualifiers"-- we thought the dementia and her weight loss (she's down to 127 from about 160) would be enough. But the hospice woman said that since she was eating (the day she saw her), the weight loss doesn't apply. Any suggestions? Thanks.