My 75-year-old mother is diabetic, has HBP, several strokes and a mild heartattack and moderate vascular dementia. Over the years she has had incontinence problems and would try to get to the bathroom most of the time, but when we were out all day she wouldn't go to the bathroom even though I'd go 2 times. We would get home and as she would get out of car or to the front door she would stand with her legs apart and have urine running down her legs (her doctor put her on different medications, all to no avail). She would live on Pepsi and ice cream if you let her. She doesn't know what water is. Now that she is living with me, after having rehab at RH and home health at my home, she acts all nicey nice and she gets around and does things on her own with them and then tells me that she WILL NOT do the exercises. When the therapy was done she does enough to get through therapy and no more. This has been her 3rd time being in RH for rehab. Now she uses a rollator as she is so short of breath walking from one room to another and she has to sit down. I let her sit on comode while I clean her up and when I have her stand to pull her clothes up she automatically says I have to sit down. She sure didn't do this for therapy as she wanted them gone. WHAT REALLY BOTHERS ME is she WILL NOT GO TO BATHROOM even when I tell her it's time to go. She says I just went or I don't have to go. You have to go over and push the button on her lift chair and literally MAKE HER GET UP AN GO. She wants to be waited on hand and foot. She wanted a popcicle and I told her it was on the freezer door so she could get it as I was busy changing her bed she said I will. She never did. 2 hours later I made her get up to go to the bathroom and she went right back to her chair and told me to get her one again, to which I reminded her she can still walk and know where they are so she can get it. Still never did. If I give her ice cream, she will put the bowl on floor so my dog eats what is left or she will drop candy papers all down beside her chair. I now have baby ants everywhere. She has done the candy paper thing for years even when she didn't live with me. I am so frustrated with waiting on her hand and foot. She has her meds., food, shower, clothes changed and goes to doctors' before I get to take care of myself, my husband or even my poor old dog. Why is she so lazy? It's like she took care of my dad (with my help) for 1 1/2 year before he went in nursing home and passed 19 months later. It's like she feels a sense of entitlement that she should be taken care of because she took care of my dad. I think she just tries to be even more selfish and demanding than before. I should treat her like she did me when I was a kid playing outside. She'd get tired of me running in and out (being a kid) and she'd lock the door and I'd bang on it wanting to use to bathroom and she wouldn't let me in and I'd have to crap outside. She also slapped me so hard she busted my mouth till it bled and I was only 5, but still remember it. I (being a kid) stuck my tongue out at her and WHAM. She acts like her true colors are coming out. She wants to sit on her butt and be waited on. I'm in worse physical and mental shape than she is and I'm not sure I should even be taking care of her. Sometimes wish I hadn't been raised to think a child should take care of their parent. Don't blame my sister for not wanting to take care of her anymore than she has to or my mother's granddaughters for not even offering to come take her to their house for a couple hours so I could have my little crackerbox house to myself. I love my mother, but I sure don't like her much anymore and at times I get so angry and resentful I wonder if she's safe being in my care. Just being honest. I'm sure lots of you feel the same way but don't want to admit it. I HATE THESE FEELINGS!!