Why is my Mother with dementia changing so rapidly?

soulfulgirl, it does sound like your mother is slipping away. My ex's aunt would repeat our words to us. She couldn't communicate except this way during her last months of life.

People with Alzheimer's progress at different rates. There is no predicting what areas of the brain will be involved and how fast the disease will progress. It is sad to go through this, because I can tell you love your mother a lot.

Have her checked for a UTI...

I'm in the same place with my mother right now. I could have written it word for word. I have been struggling with my mothers decline so fast in the last just even two months and it is hard to watch her slip away so quickly. I know I'm in denial but she does have dementia, I know it but she says she is just fine and doesn't remember what the doctor told her only a week ago. She calls me and asks what time it is or what day it is. She forgets that she called me and say's I called her! It gets kind of funny at times but watching her decline is hard on me. My brother doesn't understand and and I gave up on talking to him about it. He says she sounds fine on the phone. My aunts say the same thing. She sounds fine on the phone. But they don't see her every week like I do. And they all live far out of state. So I'm the only one that does and I feel like I have no support from her own family of brothers and sisters. They think I made it all up or something and that the doctors were wrong and she shouldn't have been put in Assisted Living. I know it has been the best thing for her but it is hard to watch her decline so quickly. This is the only place I can express my sadness and know that it is real and others have gone through the same thing. How do you get over watching them decline right in front of you? When will I know that the end is near and I need to call her brothers and sisters to tell them she is not going to be able to talk to you any longer because she's forgotten who they were? Do I just let it go and have them figure it out and not have a chance to see her again? I'd like them to know but they won't listen to me anyway. I have to make most of her decision for her now and they are only going to get harder as time goes on. Like she will go to the bathroom and I know she has diarrhea and I'll ask her have you been having diarrhea for awhile and she will say no. And she is back into the bathroom in 5 minutes with it again. So I make a appointment for the doctor to see her and she says what for? Then proceeds to tell the doctor no I haven't been having it for at all. I hate contradicting her in front of the doctor so I try to fax the doctor ahead of time but that doesn't always work. Should I just get use to this for the next 5-10 years? It is going to be really hard if it goes on that long. Someone give an idea how to accept this bitter pill easier.

Its so sad and frustrating to see such a sharp decline. And even more difficult when staff and family don't acknowledge your concerns. With my dad its important for me to rule out medical conditions like UTI's, and also let family know about issues and changes even if they disagree. And most important is spending time with my dad because he's still here and every once in a while I see that familiar twinkle in his eyes, or smile, or...

I think VaD is probably more common than is reported, golden. My father dementia that was primarily VaD mixed with some Alz. I think the same thing is happening with my mother. In doing research, it was difficult to find very good information on VaD online. Most sites mention it, but don't really address the differences in symptoms very well.

Right now my mother is having an unusual new symptom of swelling in her legs that isn't responding rapidly to Lasix. She's diabetic, so I'm watching. We're going to the opthamologist today, which was inconvenient -- I couldn't give more Lasix this morning. So many things wrong, with treatment for one thing causing problems somewhere else. I wish she didn't have to take the strong bp medications so we wouldn't have to deal with the leg swelling, but it is the way it is. There has to be a better answer than Lasix, which is hard on the kidneys.

One day maybe they will have a magic pill that fixes everything all at once with no side effects. Dream on. :-)

About 6 weeks ago my 91yo Mom with dementia began a severe decline. She had to be started on a med because of delusions, hallucinations and some paranoia that caused her (and me) extreme mental distress. The night before starting the med she was awake for almost 24 hours very delusional, paranoid and trying to get out of the house. It was horrible to see her like this pounding on doors and windows calling for someone to help her (in her mind I was the bad person keeping her locked upstairs so she couldn't get to her wedding). The med seems to have helped some. It does seem to sedate her but I would much rather see her sedated than go through that mental anguish. She's also really become unable to communicate very well at all. For example, if I ask her a question she'll answer with a totally unrelated answer or just give me a blank look like she hears what I I'm saying but it doesn't register. She can no longer find her bathroom, or her chair in the living room or her bedroom. She has trouble getting into the car now. She needs direction for all tasks now. The last couple days she has had more episodes of urinary incontinence. I am beginning to think that her care may be becoming more than I can provide. Currently I am her 24/7 caregiver. I hate this disease!!!!!

I am currently going through the same situation - my mother will rapidly decline, then level off, then rapidly decline again....it is a vicious cycle because she never regains what ground she loses. When I take her to the doctor she will call me a liar when I tell him how her health really is. She has been an RN all her adult life so I think that ties in with some of the denial. She has difficulty speaking in complete sentences and has forgotten how the use the television remote. My siblings all live 150 plus miles away so I am the only one to care for her; I moved in with her in 2014. Sometimes I question myself about the severity of it then when one of them comes to visit they are in shock at the rapidness the disease is taking. It is truly heart breaking. I try to put myself in her shoes - she is scared, she sometimes realizes that the end is near and there is NOTHING she can do to stop it. I want to be able to hold her hand until the very end and let her know she is not alone.

My dad died 35 years ago very suddenly. I was with him that morning and he was gone that afternoon. I always thought that was the worst way to loose a parent. After all these years of working with seniors, I now know differently. There is no easy way to loose a parent. But saying goodbye for years to a parent has to be a grief that is with you forever, even before the actual death. My heart goes out to you and all who write on this support group. Comparing your mom with others is useless. This is her, only her. You have to walk this time in her life with her. I have faith in you. You can do this.

Soulfulgirl - the same thing happened to my father except it happened physically and during a five week rehab stay. Daddy walked in under his own stream - just a bit slow for him and a little shaky. He had been diagnosed with CHF but it hadn't really become an issue yet. He was at rehab because of a prostate issue. Also he had developed a UTI from pulling his catheter out - 3 times! I know - ooweee! Dads rehab stay was suspose to be 2 weeks. But at that time he started having breathing problems and became very weak. When he was released after five weeks he could barely use a walker. 3 years later my mom was in the same rehab from a fall. I started seeing her deteriorating mentally at an alarming rate - we got her out of there as quickly as it was safe to do so.
Guesswho - I had the same issue with my brother - although he lives about 20 miles away he would only see mom twice a month at the most - and at the time she could hold it together pretty well for an hour or so. I saw mom three times a week and I would call him when I saw some alarming things. He never believed me and/or thought I was blowing things out of proportion. Often he would start yelling at me so I stopped calling him. In the past year she had a few occurances while he was visiting - he would call me after his visit as stunned and shocked as if she had grown wings before his eyes and flew around her apartment. I gotta admit I would get off the phone with him feeling quite smug! Brother retired in July and now sees mom a couple of times a week. While he still at times is in denial - he has certainly changed his tune.

golden, your mother is so much like mine in what you describe. My mother's steps turned to shuffling about 10 years ago. I think she has had VaD for a long time. She had two major falls before all these things happen. She said she tripped, but I now wonder if she had small strokes that caused her initial most serious decline. She fell the other day and she declined again. I think she had a small stroke that caused the fall and the decline. She is now avoiding going out, though she still wants to do the familiar things like going to church.

My father also had VaD, too. He wasn't diagnosed until after death. He was very similar to my mother, with gradual change over many years with times of rapid decline. I imagine he had small strokes at these times. It is hard that there is no treatment for it, really, except trying to keep the blood pressure and chemistry right. Beyond that, all we can do is wait.