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He was misunderstood at the hospital because he's hard of hearing and didn't understand a lot of what the medical staff was saying although I told them. They ignored me and now because of this and him being combative he's in some locked unit practically being held as a prisoner and is not deemed there nor incompetent. What can we do if he never wanted his estranged daughter to have any say so over his life and he is angry. What can be done, can he choose his own surrogate?

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Is the daughter going to apply for permanent conservatorship is the question here? If so, and if your husband is competent to go to court and express his wishes coherently, a lawyer will be provided by the court to him and to you to fight this action. However, if your husband is combative this will go against him. I read your profile and see that your husband has had some testing that says that he does indeed have some mental deficits and dementia. You should see an elder care attorney AT ONCE. Your estranged daughter may already be working with social workers where your husband is to find ways to make a temporary conservatorship permanent. Your elder law attorney can help you to fight this action. Take any medical testing you mention in your profile with you to his office.
I have a concern also, here. Your writing to us on the profile is perfectly understood, but this post is a bit garbled in presentation. Do you have some deficits yourself that may preclude yourself from acting in your husband's interest, given the needs to provide for him if he is released to you? If APS were to visit your home would they find it in good condition to care for a man with your husband's current needs?
I wish you good luck, but this is something you must now see an attorney about. There really is no other option if you have already spoken with the facility where your husband is held, and have not got good answers.
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Do you have POA in place for financial and medical. If so, I would think that overrides the daughter as surrogate. And it was done awfully quick when you just went home for a while. What was the urgency they could not wait. I wouldn't think the NH has the legal right to make the daughter's surrogacy permanent when a wife is available.

The deafness part really makes me mad. My husband has a problem every time he is in a hospital. I tell the staff but they don't relay it to the next shift. My husband has to wear his hearing aide all night in case a nurse comes in. And then to be woke up and be expected to be alert. I used to tell them he was hard of hearing. They seem to be more sympathetic when I say he is deaf.

Has your husband before now had a diagnosis of Dementia? Sit down with the DON, Director of Nursing, and find out what is going on. If he is in rehab, then Medicare is paying 100% only for the first 20 days. 21st to 100 is only 50%. Not all supplimentals pay the balance. If this is going to be a hardship on you financially, tell them you can't afford the xtra days. The daughter has no control over the financial end of things. If your told he is combatant and has Dementia, ask if he has had a neurological consult to confirm that. If not, they have no reason to keep him passed the 20days. That he can be safely discharged to your home. If they cannot give you a good reason that he needs to stay there, then call your State Ombudsman and ask for an investigation. If the Ombudsman doesn't do anything, call a lawyer. Your husband has rights.

When you get him home, if you don't have it already, have him assign you POA for medical and financial.
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AlvaDeer Oct 2021
Gwennie's profile has a lot more info, JoAnn. She says that the husband has had some medical workup that shows white matter changes and dementia. His behavior would indicate there are some concerns, also. If the daughter has a temporary conservatorship that would override a POA which I doubt is here in any case, as no facility could easily override a wife and go to a child and appoint for any care. I agree with visiting the DON first thing on Monday and find out if there is any conservatorship or guardianship in effect, and think Gwen should see an elder law attorney right away.
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