The two of them were closer when my son was younger, but as he's gotten older, he doesn't want to hang out with him as much. And now my 10 year old wants nothing to do with him because he won't leave him alone. We all live together so my grandfather isn't alone or in a home. He has become so obsessed with my son. He walks into his room anytime he walks by, sometimes just walking in without knocking, sometimes over and over again until my son is screaming at him to go away. If my son isn't home, he will ask me every couple min if I know where he is. I'll even write on a dry erase board where everyone is, but he still asks. In the middle of the night, he will get up and go into his room. There have been times I will be downstairs and I'll hear them upstairs yelling and cussing at each other. I'll break it up only to have to run back a min later to break it up again. It's a constant battle everyday. I try to explain to grandpa he doesn't want to be bothered then he just yells at me tells me to off. This is just one of many bad behaviors grandpa has picked up in the last couple years. Idk what to do it's causing a lot of stress on my kids....
As I said, first obligation is to your own child. Period.
Whether this is dementia or mental illness causing such behavior, your grandfather needs a psych evaluation by a REAL doctor who can diagnose him properly. You'll then know which type of facility to place him in.
I realize you want to keep him out of a NH but you may need to place him. Its not fair to your 10 yr old to have to deal with this kind of thing or ur other kids. Seems Gpa cannot be reasoned with and this is one if the first signs of Dementia. Your family is #1. They need home a soft place to land.
Just want to make you aware of this.
Take action NOW.
Elderly with start of dementia can fixate on people. This can absolutely become inappropriate & sexual.
Many have been abused as minors by family members in this way.
Protect your son RIGHT NOW.
Dare I ask what the others are?
Your son in entitled to his own space in his own house. He should have a lock on his door.
If grandpa has not been diagnosed with dementia then he should respect your son and allow him his privacy. Obviously he has not grasped this concept and that leads me to believe there is some cognitive decline that should be diagnosed.
**side note here this might be a difficult conversation to bring up to your son but it is IMPORTANT has your grandfather tried to grab your son, exposed himself to your son or even said anything to your son that would frighten him in ANY way? I think this is an important discussion to have with EACH of your kids separately and in private preferably away from the house so the know no one else can hear the conversation**
If as you say grandpa does not have dementia then you give him a move out date (the sooner the better).
If he has dementia whoever is POA for him can make the choice of what MC facility he will become a resident of.
If no one is POA and no family wishes to become his Guardian the Court will appoint a Guardian.
A conversation with a Elder Care Attorney might be in order.
PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN
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