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I don’t know whether or not to tell my husband that he cannot come home due to his risk of falling & progressing dementia. He keeps asking when???

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Is he now in rehab? It is difficult to rob a person of hope while they are in hospital or in rehab. If he is in hospital I would suggest that you strongly advocate for some rehab time so that you can see how far back he can come, then reassess, but meanwhile make it clear that it will depend on how independent he can be in the home, as you are now limited by your own issue as to how much you can help. If he is in rehab tell him that you will take it a day at a time. If, however, the decision is already made, and is "set in stone", then be honest as to the fact, and the reason. He won't be happy. May cry. May be angry. But those are honest reactions to sad things, and perfectly normal. Just tell him you love him, and will visit, and to try to take things a day at a time. Depression over all our losses in age is normal; we cannot be happy about them, and shouldn't be expected to be. Not everything can be fixed.
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