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Mom is 87 and lives at home. She worries alot; especially the past. What ifs, shoulda, coulda, wouldas all the time. She does okay, then if she and I begin to discuss something that is upsetting to her, liking going to the doctor, she begins that uncontrollable mouth trembling, and words she is trying to speak, start to shake. Is anyone experiencing or have experienced anything like this?

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Most likely, she has anxiety issues and bringing up these topics is very upsetting to her. Continuing to discuss these things with her and not redirecting to more pleasant topics could bring on a full-blown panic attack. When you see this happening, change the subject. If you know a subject will upset her, avoid it entirely.
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onlychild55 Feb 2019
Thank you; she refuses meds or going to a doctor. Is this any sign of early dementia?
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Ugh, you made my nervous tic come back.

My mother used to start her dry irritating cough bouts. Did she want a cup of tea? Yes please that would lovely. Why had she not used her walking frame? - cough cough cough cough cough...

I expect it's stress, actually. These poor ladies' brains are already under pressure, we add in a difficult emotion, presumably that's the trigger.

It is extremely trying. I do not know the answer, just sending hugs and sympathy.

PS With the doctor's appointments, I should go right ahead and make the appointment - if she wants to cancel it or she won't go then you can reschedule, but the chances are she'll go with the flow especially if you can keep everything calm and gentle and matter of fact.
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onlychild55 Feb 2019
Thank you
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onlychild, some of what your Mom is going through is stress related.

My gosh, even I, myself, had the voice trembling due to the stress of helping my very elderly parents. Everyone could hear it in my voice.

The late great actress Katharine Hepburn had a voice trembling as she got older. My late Mom's voice started to sound like Katharine's once my Mom got into her 80's.
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I loved Katherine Hepburn. Yep, she did have the voice trembling.
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My mom does that too. She has tremors from Parkinson's anyway but if she is stressed the shaking does not stop. It's weird. Stress aggravates everything! What's bothersome to me is that if I wish to remain calm, I have high blood pressure and I don't want to excessively worry like she does, she thinks I am not concerned. Drives me crazy.
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Some old people are just magnified versions of themselves when younger. I have known some really obnoxious people that only got worse as they aged, opposite of a fine wine.

And they make sure you don't ignore them. One woman I know has that hair scratching thing to make a bald spot so you will say that she should stop scratching her head. Oh my gosh, she gets so mad because I don't notice people's quirks. She points it out. I tell her that I don't notice things like quirks and she gets furious. So then she told me her hands were getting blue and I told her to call 911 or her daughter. I can't deal with hypochondriacs!
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Our mom has a hand tremor. Been around for a few years, since we knew she had dementia. After ALZ Dx, it got worse. Whenever we visit her. We probably give her anxiety,because she tried to cover this up for so long.

There are are psycotrophic meds which will cause tardive dyskinesia, uncontrolled body movements. They are usually permanent. Our mom is on one of these meds.

We treat our pets better than this.
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It’s scary to see the changes as we age. You’re right about side effects. All meds have them.
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