Mom moved in with us 5 years ago. She is 91 (in 9 days). Before that I drove 45 minutes several times a day to help her with step father (invalid). She is just getting old, very easy going and very very happy in my home. I think I'm getting some burnout - depressed, isolating myself, etc. I am taking very good care of her, and I love her so much...but I have this gut wrenching feeling of guilt...even I don't know why. No one in family helps...don't even come around or send cards - haven't for years - my husband is very good about her living here and he loves her too. I just don't understand what "Guilt" means or how to deal with it. I should not feel guilt, but I do.I'm giving her so much love and care and I don't resent her?? Some people call me a Saint....but I sure don't feel like one...I feel like I'm not doing enough.
Well, I am glad that you are in such a very good mood now and wish you well with your stress relieving techniques. Let us know if we can ever help you with your down days of being on guilt trips. I wish you the best!.
my mother is 92 and she is very negative..she lives with me And rarely thanks me for anything All she does is complain. My brother rarely takes her over night which I would love for him to do as I need a break. She is jealous of my friends and my boyfriend. She calls him names behind his back to me and it upsets me that she does this. I really like this guy and he is very kind to my mother..I feel like I am getting an ulcer because of this situation. What can I do? I would like to run away but I own the house we live in...maybe I need a support group.
I think you need a support group, boundaries, look at the thread on this site "the power of emotional blackmail, get a therapist, look for somewhere else for your mother to live and thereby reduce the stress that is causing this ulcer.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/power-of-emotional-blackmailers-176430.htm
Right now you are in a very unhealthy emotional dance with your mother. It takes two to dance. So, choose how much longer you want to dance and then take steps to proceed accordingly. If you choose to stop the dance by setting boundaries, be prepared for her not to like that, but you need to do that in order to stop the dance and protect yourself from being used further.
Good luck and let us know how things progress.