Why do elders lose the ability to answer simple questions?

Llamalover,

Good question.
Rejection of any kind can hurt.
Sorry you went through that.
People can be unkind and irritable, distracted.
It was about her, not any fault of yours. 🦙️

Llamalover47,
Are you asking about people who can’t answer questions due to dementia or just won’t answer questions for no apparent reason? I ask that because my mother has been opposed to answering questions since she was in her twenties. My earliest memories include my mother refusing to answer simple questions from people in my immediate family. There was no dementia. She does have depression and anxiety. It was very frustrating and hurtful to ask her questions and have her keep silent for days, sometimes for weeks. I cried, begged and pleaded with her to no avail. She would talk about other things. She could speak fine. Just refuse to answer simple questions. Sometimes, neighbors or family friends would intervene with her. She always answered questions from people outside the home. Just my dad, siblings and I who she refused to answer questions. When she finally did answer, she would bite your head off...very hostile, like it was our fault:( She’s still that way a lot of the time. I chalk it up to mental illness and/ Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I’m no expert. JMO

Yes! My mother definitely cannot answer a question and it drives me batty! She cannot tell me what she needs at the store in terms of toiletries, just that she desperately needs a lot of things. So I blindly buy what I think she may need, then listen to how I bought tooooooo toooooo much! The simplest question is left unanswered ALL the time, especially now that her dementia is worsening, but she's always been very indecisive and non committal her whole life.

My husband can't cope with multiple choice or non specific questions. Coffee or tea ? Will send him into a tailspin. I have to ask do you want coffee? If he says no, then do you want tea? I can't ask him what do you want for breakfadt?. I have to ask, do you want cereal?.No, do you want eggs? Yes. Do you want bacon. No. Do you want sausage? Yes.
I also have to tell him one concept at atime. I can't say put your shoes and socks on and get your jacket. He just stands there like a deer in the headlights. His poor broken brain just can't cope. And that makes my heart hurt.

I suppose that there are several reasons for this.

My mother hated being a burden on us.

So her pat answer was, “Whatever you fix is fine with me.”

I didn’t have to ask and there were plenty days that I just went into the kitchen and cooked.

I wanted to offer choices sometimes or simply know what she was in the mood for.

Sometimes she would tell me if she was in the mood for a particular food. She was happy to have it and expressed thanks.

You know what? There are days that I don’t have a clue as to what I feel like eating or cooking! Same for my husband.

againx100: Thank you for your response and agreement.

I don't know why but yes. My mom, 78, looks like a deer in the headlights when I ask her something. Not always but especially if it is to explain some vague thing that she's just told me that doesn't make any sense to me. Oh well. Just something I've to come to accept, but not enjoy.