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I have been taking care of a friend for over a year now, he never married nor had kids. I did know him almost 3 years prior to becoming more close (as friends). When I went through a very hard time he was there to help me. Something I have always appreciated and will never forget. Now, I started helping him more around the house and since he was a hoarder I cleaned it inside out because he suffers from every illness i can imagine which it helped him tremendously. In the recent months he started to experience health problems and fell several times causing him to bruise, scrape or even have a concussion. Gladly, when the worst fall happen i was around to help and seek medical help immediately. He also attempted suicide in which i seek help and because he gave me power of attorney over his medical decision i knew i had to do something to help him. After getting treatments and all sorta help for everything he has been going through in this last few months I offered him to move in with him. He was abuse as a child and never had a family so i offered him mine. Since moving in I cook, clean, do his laundry. Pretty much everything for him to make him happy and keep him happy. His life has change so much for the best. He is now sleeping more than 10 hours a day when before he was lucky if he sleep 2 hours in a whole 24 hour day. Now, I can keep a closer eye on him in case there is an emergency but most importantly give him the love of a family he never had. But, I have also been getting backslash from his family (who by the way didn't call or visited him in over 10 years). All the sudden they want to know about me and are accusing me or elderly abuse. Not just them but also his car insurance agent. I dare him accuse me without knowing me. The point is i'm completely heart broken because last thing i want is to get in trouble or live a life hearing all this things. I honestly don't know what to do. Breaks my heart to ask him to go back to his home when i get he is much happier around people in a healthier home, with a healthy family. Please give me any type of advise....

P.S. I am not a caregiver and I do not get paid for any of this.

Thank you!

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My reasons for sticking around?

He was sexually abuse as a child by his own family members (brothers and sisters). He is consider disable since birth. He can walk and do everything on his own. Over the years he took care of his mother until she passed in 2003. He has feed himself frozen tv dinners for the last decade and has been suffering so many illness. I mean he takes about 14 pills a day and his health has improved since now i'm controlling his diet by feeding him homemade food, giving him fresh vegetable and fruits. I avoid anything that could hurt him or that is not good for him. His health has improve so much. He was suffering from depression and like I mention in my question he attempted to suicide. Was in a mental hospital (since he was consider suicidal) for a little over a week. His family never visited him and they knew what had happen since i did informed one of them. The state was very supported since it was also tough for me to see him suffer and since i didn't know how to help. Eventually, he overcame all of those demons and for the first time i introduce him to God, now I take him to church twice a week and he loves it. HE is changing for the best and it's so obvious. I see his life as tragic and I feel it is about time he is happy. He is 74 but seems much older. it's not easy living with a senior (can't lie) but I know in my heart I have to be there for him to help him find a little happiness. I may find myself trouble with his family or whoever but if this is my pay for trying to help someone be happy then I will have to deal with it. I rather face that, than not sleep since my conscious will not let me forgive myself for giving up so easily.
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We did see a lawyer a few months back and his living will, power of attorney all that was done. Lawyer also made notes just in case his family (niece and 90 year old sister) wants to fight it. He is not rich or anything and in fact he is losing the only thing he had (his home). I can't help him financially but i'm giving him a home. I'm not worried if anyone comes out to investigate me since I got nothing to hide. It's the drama they are putting me through. I have been in contact with his doctors, drive him since sometimes it is dangerous for him to drive to all of his appt. As of now, I am not being investigated or no one has called. It is all the hatred, jealousy from his niece, sister and neighbor (who is also 90) who telling him all of this. I did let him know that if he family feels I am somehow abusing him he is free to go live with them. By no means I am forcing anyone to live where they are unhappy. He did mention how happy he was, and the decision he made was the best. He also ask his niece if he could live with her but her response was obvious. She was way too busy to take care of him. I do not confront his family or friend. I try to stay away, I understand everyone will have their own opinion. It just hurt to see this could really affect everyone and in the end it will end up hurting him more. Thank you all for your comments it really has helped a lot.
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I agree with what the others have said. Don't worry about being accused of doing something, you know and he knows that you're not doing anything wrong. But you do have to protect yourself because you're in a vulnerable position. Keep meticulous records and account for every dime and make sure you are able to provide these records on a moments notice.
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Sorry, didn't notice where you said he had no kids. Then what family are you talking about, siblings, nieces ,nephews? Still if you intend to stick with this surround yourself with the legal papers you need. I just hate to see you get grief just because you tried to do something kind.
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They are looking for money. None may exist but that doesn't mean they won't look.Well, I would have first told you don't move him in with you but that horse is out of the barn. No good deed goes unpunished. Now you may be facing a legal quagmire.If you are going to take on this much responsibility realize there is a lot of legal responsibility to go with this. If your friend is of sound mind get to a lawyer ASAP! Start getting all the legal papers you need if you are serious about taking care of your friend. I am going on the premise that he doesn't have a wife or a common law wife. If he has children, even though there has been little to no contact technically they are still considered legal next of kin.However, he can change this legally, you said you have his POA, well you still need DPOA,and MPOA and even with this I would still have him make out a living will.Do this before there is any question of his mental status although if he was a hoarder his mental status could be a legal question and you could be accused of taking advantage of someone who is not mentally all there.You have taken on quite a lot of responsibility for someone who is even biologically related to you and I hope you understand what you may be in for.
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Don't sell yourself short tanners85 you are a caregiver in the true sense of the word!
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previously " unthought " about emotions will surface at a time like this . for you , the patient and everyone involved . of course it gets complicated . most family are looking for a confrontation if nothing else to quell their own guilt . dont sweat it . aps sees the rivalry and jealousy every day of their lives . dont give the family the confrontation that they desire . youve " good " work to do . you dont have time for their petty games ..
aps suspected that i had some kind of financial motive for getting so involved with my aunt too but when they came to their senses they realized that my aunt only has 2 gold dollars to her name and i gave them to her . their job is to be skeptical first in order to protect the elder until proven differently . aps even suggested that i could buy my aunts shack and property cheaply . they were testing me . man did they get a fooling when i explained to them that i didnt want or need it ..
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Can your friend speak up for you if, for example, family reports you to APS?

I'd say just ignore them all! But you also might need to take some steps to protect yourself, depending on what their "charges" are and how articulate your friend is able to be.

And how does the car insurance agent fit it?

Be proud of being such a caring, generous friend. Keep us posted on how this plays out. We are rooting for you!
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