Why does this have to be this way?

I've just looked at your profile.

Er, how do I put this? Oh, I know.

Go home!

Seriously, call your mother's local elder care services and report your mother's precarious living situation to them. Tell them you have a child to consider. Leave. It's less than two months, you have not formally accepted responsibility for your mother's care, the whole thing is just ridiculous.

GO HOME.

I too read your profile, and I can only repeat what Churchmouse has already said. Go home to Tennessee. You may have been groomed for this but you can walk away from it. You may need psychological counseling to help you work through your feelings about it, but you should get that counseling in TN, after you get home.

Of course the doctors told you to stay with her. That solves the problem at no cost to them. Lots of people will tell you things like that. They only have their own best interests at heart, not yours. I believe you should only give up your life to care for someone if you love them enough to want to do it and not consider it a sacrifice. That's clearly not the case here. Monitor your mother from a distance and if she runs into trouble again, call adult protective services. Don't be the human sacrifice. It's not worth it and in the end, it's your life.

Buy your ticket back home today. Contact your former employer and see if you can get your job back. You should be eligible for FMLA, yes? See if the HR department can apply that retroactively to the time you took off.

Crazydae, you are right, there is something more going on with your Mom than just depression.   It could be Alzheimer/Dementia, or an urinary tract infection [which can mimic dementia].   Have her doctor run a UTI test on her.

I see that your Mom had hired caregivers and let them go.  That tells me she can afford to pay them. 

Time to pack up and get back home to TN.  By the way, who has Power of Attorney for your Mom?   If it is your sister or brother, let whomever deal with Mom.   I know you want to do what is best for your Mom, but the environment isn't healthy for you.

As for your boyfriend, good heavens if he is scouting the websites for someone else after two months, he's not worth it.   Seriously.

You call Adult Protective Services not to ask about eligibility for services. You call them to say that your mother is living alone and incompetent to care for herself. They need to do a wellness check and perhaps get the ball rolling for the state to assume guardianship.

I'm with Churchmouse! You and I have a very similar situation, except that DSS took my mother from her home and I now have her living in my home. Lord, help us. Dear, you may have a little depression yourself and it is completely understandable. Get out now. Call Adult Protective Services and go home. Get yourself some much needed care. Be strong!

What are you doing in CA? Your life is in TN. Return!

So you were told to look after her, fine. That doesn't have to mean moving in and giving up your own life, you can arrange for her care from your home in TN. Yes, call APS and tell them she is a vulnerable senior who is living in her own home, ALONE.

I called APS when I got here and they can't help. Mother has too many assets and is not eligible for any services. She is very paranoid and believes all the caregivers and house cleaners she hired before that are not family have stole from her.