Why am I so angry?

Jessie, I know exactly how you feel. If my sig other says to me one more time "just relax" I am going to scream as those are fighting words for me. What does he think I am, a robot?

sandy22, I get mad a lot, so you're definitely not alone. Last night when I went to bed I suddenly started feeling very angry with my ex and all the stuff that has happened this last 5 years caregiving. I tried to talk myself out of being angry -- you know the old forgiveness routine. Then I thought maybe I needed to be angry. I mean, people can accept stuff so passively, being told to forgive. Or with elders, we're told not to have anger because they're old or have dementia. Then I wonder what can WE be angry at? Why is it okay for others to be angry, but not us? Well, that just p*ssed me off more, thinking that people think for some reason that it isn't okay to be angry.

Now, being an a**hole is a totally different thing. I reserve my right to be angry, but not to take it out on innocent folks. And I won't take it out on my mother, since that would be unfruitful and destructive. But I'll be darned if I'll deny myself the right to feel angry about bad things that should not have happened to me. I think you fit into the same category, sandy, with all that is going on in your life.

Sandy, I read your profile, I would be spitting nails myself if I had to be hands-on care for an elder, plus trying to be there for a hubby who is dealing with cancer. You are doing the work of many full-time caregivers and no one seems to care or even take notice [except for us here on the forums].

From reading some of your previous threads and posts, it sounds like you've been running on empty in your emotional tank. Would it be possible for you to afford to see a therapist? I hope so for you need some face to face help with someone who will not run you down, drain you or mess with you.