Who I should be seeing: psychologist vs therapist vs mental health counselor?

Why in the name of Pete are they not in a nursing home where their medical needs can be looked after properly?

my breakdown was so bad i was barely able to drive to my regular drs office. She prescribed escitalipram which is antidepressant with antianxiety properties. Truly, i should have been taken to hosptial but i was the only one caring for mom.... when the dr came in the room i was in true lala land playing with my coat zipper on the chair and leaving my body..... Dont let yourself get this bad- i should have gone to see a therapist. ask your doc, maybe all you need is counseling to give you the tools you need to express your needs or strength to press for help.

Maren88, what will happen is when your inlaws pass, your hubby retires and wants to do things, you will still be on that emotional tightrope and feel a decade older then you are. My gosh, you probably are only in your 20's or 30's. You mentioned "no kids yet" so that tells me that is in your future plans.

My sig other has a bucket list of places he wants to see and things he wants to do. I have zero interest because I am trying to pick up the pieces of caregiving for years, even though it wasn't hands-on under the same roof, it still was emotionally exhausting to me.

Just curious, does your husband take over the caregiving on the weekend, doing everything? Or just helps doing just this or that? He may not realize how overwhelming it can be.

A normal*

I know it's his parents, trust me, I use that excuse to validate a lot of things. But I know he's tired too. A breakdown for me includes crying, questioning if getting married was the right thing for us and just secluding myself from my husband and his parents. My in laws are young but look really old because of all the illnesses they have. They both have kidney failure so they're both on dialysis. I have to sit with my FIL at dialysis 3 times a week for 3 hours because he pulls his needles out. He's had multiple strokes, triple bypass and was in a coma after the surgery and had to be taught how to do everything again: walking, eating, chewing. He still isn't the same. Memory is iffy and cognitive thinking is out the door. My husband tells me all the time he'll quit his job to switch places with me but he's in a manager position and this is a sacrifice for our future on my part. I started taking care of them shortly after we were married so this is abnormal part of our marriage. It's been hard but I just need someone else to talk to. Staff and nurses at dialysis are a huge help but they're probably tired of me venting all the time.

Can you describe what a bad breakdown looks like in your house?

Stress does that to a person-makes you doubt your own sanity.
It may be that you are ok mentally, but just need a little help.

However, the definition of insanity is:
"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

Your stress reaction is a red flag that something needs to change.

Go a.s.a.p. to your local senior center and attend a caregiver's support group, free, or a donation. Then say yes if anyone is going out to lunch after.

Then, go again.

Why is your husband using you as free help? It's past time for a heart to heart talk.

"Bless my poor husband's heart. He works almost all day, comes home and has to hear me complain about his parents and take care of them because I'm going crazy." Well, they are HIS parents...

I see by your profile that the inlaws are very young, FIL with ALZ at 59 and MIL 61. Is there some reason they both need constant supervision? There are several posters here that have cared/are caring for a spouse, many of them decades older than your MIL. I don't question the decision to have them live with you, but I don't understand why you can't get out and have some kind of life outside the home, either paid employment or volunteering. IMO having something to focus on other than all the irritants that come with having your home taken over by your needy inlaws would do as much or more than a therapist could.

I have tried both, a Psychologist and Therapist. The Psychologist had no background with dealing with elderly loved ones nor with serious illnesses. She did give me some good advice but after awhile I decided the sessions hit a road block.

A couple of months ago my primary doctor recommended a Talk Therapist, and boy did I luck out. It was worth the wait to see her. She is around my age, and had issues with her late parents as they aged. Talk about a perfect match. We can pretty much talk about anything. She had helped build up my self-confidence which disappeared as I was helping my late parents. Plus I had other issues which were causing just as much stress as my parents. IT will take awhile to get back on the right track, but at least I am on the right train :)

If your in-laws have funds, hire a paid caregiver to come in to help them. You have to go through a few caregivers from an Agency to find a good fit. And don't shadow the caregivers as they do their work, this is your free time, get out of the house if you have the energy. Find a part-time job or do volunteer work to give you the great feeling of really being needed.

My preference is a therapist or counselor who is a licensed clinical social worker., LCSW. They have a foot in both worlds of psychology and society which is a good combination.

Taking care of two seniors in your home with one of them having dementia doesn't sound like a small thing to me. What does your husband say about it? Does he understand what kind of responsibility you have? I would think that going to a job would be a lot easier than staying home and doing what you are doing. Plus, you have it 24/7.

Great idea to see a therapist. I have no idea which is best. Do you have insurance coverage? I think I would check to see how that works and who is in-network, conveniently located, comes recommended, etc. I like professionals who have experience, simply because they have seen things and lived more and generally more comfortable with themselves, but, that's me.

In your situation, I would first schedule a physical with your pcp, just to check as to whether you have any underlying physical stuff (thyroid, b-12, anemia). Ask your pcp if s/he has any recommendations for a talk therapist.

In my experience, it's less the title that the person has than the quality of the relationship and the "goodness of fit" that allows you to work of these sorts of issues sucessfully.

Arrange respite, and start thinking about your exit strategy when this becomes too much for you to do.