Who helps the caregiver financially? There has to be a way for the caregiver to get some financial support.

Oh boy do I understand your situation. First sorry that your going through this but your a great person for doing what you are doing. HARD WORK..... I was working and makeing 3500 a month and mom fell and I guess you could say fell into my lap. So needless to say I quit my job and I now get 600 a month from the state called IHSS in CA. and it just makes my bills. I'm grateful to have that at least for now since I can't do both work and mom at this time. It's been a year and half and it's not been easy but I'm doing the best I can. Be careful when you apply for aid because in CA. mom had to get on medical which qualified her to get IHSS to pay me and the classes I had to go to for careing for her but the kicker is she owns her home and when she passes they the state can take it and sell it to get back what she used to help the next person. It's a mess this whole caregiving thing but just do the best you can get help where you can and make sure you ask exatly for what you need along the way. I'm learning everyday and never thought I would have no life sorta. My health is falling apart and I am fighting that battle with meds and counsleing just to get out of the house is a struggle. I'm only 43 and feel like I look older but mom cared for me and it's my turn. So enough about me. Take care of you and do the best you can. There is not a book and you sometimes have to keep calling places and talk to different people to get anywhere. Took me six months to figure out IHSS the it took another six before I saw any money. Things were tough but have faith and good things are there you just have to change how you look at things. God Bless us all. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. : )

My brothers called me home 6 months ago when I was living out of the country. My mom was dying of congestive heart failure (80 years old) and they needed me to live with her and take care of her. I quit my job, moved back to Va, and now I am here not getting paid one cent. I am upset! I take care of my mom in every area...laundry, food shopping, food prep, and sitting with her daily to occupy her time. She's gotten better, but shouldn't I be paid? Mom has bonds, savings, but lives on her SSI and retirement. She does not want to pay me. What do I do?

My brothers called me home 6 months ago when I was living out of the country. My mom was dying of congestive heart failure (80 years old) and they needed me to live with her and take care of her. I quit my job, moved back to Va, and now I am here not getting paid one cent. I am upset! I take care of my mom in every area...laundry, food shopping, food prep, and sitting with her daily to occupy her time. She's gotten better, but shouldn't I be paid? Mom has bonds, savings, but lives on her SSI and retirement. She does not want to pay me. What do I do?

I have cared for my mother since September, 2011, after Irene hit and my Step-father dies. I do all of the driving, making appointments, doling out meds and reminding her to take them, dealing with EMT's when needed, and rehab after a stroke this past January. I am a college student. Is there any way I can get paid for taking care of mom? Cathy MacDonald

What is guardianship for an elderly parent with dementia?

I live in El Paso, Tx. I care for my dad, whose income is 2200 per month. That's good for the bills and household. He needs full time care, so I can't work. Is there a way for me to get paid something to have enough to pay for a sitter every once in a while, so I don't burn out?

I am 30 years old in tx and have the same questions, my mother is 65 years old and has stage 4 cancer, I have had to quit my job to care for her, we are fighting for her medicare. her care at this point is thru the indegent care at the county hospital. I am completely clueless as how to help with those legal issues. as for her health, i am a certified nursing assistant and have been for years, it is my calling to care for the elderly and my passion and now that i am home with her and caring for her it is not out of the normal for me to assist her with her normal activities such as bathing, eating, cooking, dressing, ect...it is what i have done for others. I just need a lil financial help.

I live in CA and just took my disabled mom in 2 weeks ago. Although she needs a lot of assistance with ADL's, she is mentally sharp and quite fun to have around for me and my children. The hard part is the time it takes from me and my family, and the financial aspect. She is on Medicare and Medi-cal and receives very little money (she can's afford to live on her own at all). I am new to this and am going from one web page to another asking for assistance and/or advice. Can someone tell me, where do I even begin?? Thank you so very much.

I take care of my mom 24/7, she lives with me, I am Medical POA, my sister is Financial POA, my sister refuses to pay me or respite for her care. She does pay for her living expenses only. I want to set moms care up so I can have respite and a little income for myself as I cannot work outside the home anymore. Mom can afford it. What are my rights, to me my sister is denying her the care that needs to be set up for mom and paid for. I have tried talking with her and it always ends up in an argument, what can I do to get this taken care of?

I am a single mother of four children in Hartsville, TN who recently befriended a homeless vet of 76 years of age. He was indeed homeless, penniless (recently had been violently robbed) and obviously very ill. Taking him in I began a lengthy process of recuperating his identification and other documents lost during the robbery. Afterwards I began to contact physicians and setting up appointments to get Gil's health stabilized. He has been with me for a month now, 24/7 care with over fourteen different medications, tending to four children and still working as much as I can at fifteen year profession as a drywall finisher *I'M TUCKERED OUT* the understatement of the year. Mr. Gil's children want nothing to do with him except for the youngest son that is currently incarcerated this has been an extremely educational journey so far. I found this site and I pray it helps one of ya'll as it has assisted me a great deal. http://www.veteranaid.org/apply.php. Gil fought for our freedom as well as every other current and/or veteran. He deserves better than to be left out in the heat or cold and perish alone with out compassion or help. Love the elderly because with out them we would not be here today. PLEASE STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND HELP THEM. MAY YOU BE BLESSED WITH THE SAME COMPASSION WHEN YOU BECOME THEIR AGE.....

Roxanne, isn't that your parent's money that is used to pay the hourly fee? I don't think this solution is available to people caring for loved ones who have no assets. If there is no money in the checking account, there is no money to spend on her behald to hire a lawyer. Certainly we can all be paid directly by the person we are taking care of -- but only if that person has money.

My mothers Connecticut Probate Attorney told me, after he learned I was her POA for a year and took no fee at all, that: "as a lay conservator, you are allowed $50.00/hour, as long as you document everything you do and keep track of all your time and mileage."
I decided to split the difference, and pay myself $25.00/hour, so I do not look greedy to Probate when I hand in my annual accounting.
I became conservator January 2011, and I keep a very detailed journal.
YOU CAN BE PAID. Just go through the system and if mom has a probate attorney notify him/her and work it out IN WRITING. If she does not have one, hire one for her, and you can give him the retainer, out of HER check book since it is on "HER behalf."
Help is on the way...and you deserve it!

It is a real shame that caregivers are so socially invisible. We're all in the same boat, trying to do the right thing by our elders yet we are not independently wealthy.

In NY we have the nursing home waiver program that will pay 1/2 to 3/4 of the rent and help with nurses and aides. In Pa there seems to be nothing.....I have a 64yo sister with end stage COPD and I've tried to get help by put room shares to help with the bills. As she make $749 per month and nothing else. All I get is abuse from the condo board and threats and nasty comment by the Pa dept of aging in MONROE. I purchased her home so she wouldn't b on the street and all I get is abuse from the departments. I live on Long Island and she lives in MT Pocono and I have tried to help but only seem to get abuse and nastyness. Are there any grants that might help... Assess the medicaid program no one takes and therefore there are no doctors either.... I have tried for the past 5 years to get help from Monroe Adult protection and took 5 years for llittle. She was misdiagnosised at Pocono Medical Center that distroyed her life. MISDIAGNOIS 8 hours of brain surgery.....Ha

I am told that "way back when" churches used to do all this kind of stuff, including building hospitals and colleges.

When someone had a need, a REAL need, a group of people would step up with time, money and materials for the person in need. There was no government entity and no bureaucrats. Just a handful of people wanting to be useful.

Times change.

My Mom 73 has had 6 strokes,has demensia,pacemaker,has had a 5 bi-pass had her arm amputated in 1953. Her last stroke she lost ability to see and hear very well
no use of her arms or legs. I placed her in a nursing home for 3 months for rehabilation and they made matters worse she feel out of her wheel chair while infront of the nurses station . Blew her knee out ,broke her nose and had a subdural brain bleed and in a coma for several weeks. I moved from Wisconsin to Rio Grand Valley and am 51 to help her as I am the only one who can and willing.
I was going through my own stuff lost 2 homes to forclousure and a buisness.On my way here got rammed on the back on Hwy 35 in Kansas ,had to leave my truck ,r.v. cargo trailer and have my harleys crated to harley dealer in Rio Grand .
I have been through the mill .....I was hired by a agency and get paid 7.25 per hour for 4 hours a day ??? I will probably loss my other home because I don't have the income to even pay my rent yet I am still here in Texas and work 16 hours a day .
I called Elderly care and aging ,they reffered me to a agency non-profit called Senor Companion Program to help me some ,but anything is better than no help and for this I am grateful:)

Yes, Denise, we are in the same boat.
Ted, I do belong to the NFCA, you don't even have to pay the dues if you can't afford them. They recently sent a 2011 Family caregiver toolkit and planner/calendar to me at no charge. Due to lack of time, even though now reduced to working part time, I barely have time to read their newsletters which I get electronically but I did contact them in the past when Pres. Obama was first elected and had a website asking people what changes were needed. I suggested to NFCA that they send an email out to members asking them to submit the same issue - that all states provide the same amount of funds to community care and that more funds be devoted to in home/community care vs nursing home placement. There have been lawsuits pending on this .

As I said, I am burned out but could muster enough energy if some organization would take this on. We are the silent suffering, yet in many cases we are saving the govt a lot of money. My mother would be eligible for medicaid coverage in a nursing home but from my experiences with stays their for rehab, I won't do it. It was even more stressful to me trying to oversee what went on in the nursing homes/assisted living than when I have her at home. But some don't have that choice. There should be choice, care for them at home and receive adequate funding or improve the monitoring of nursing homes and assisted living carefully to ensure adequate care

Denise-As previously mentioned you are possibly able to have some state or even federal assistance with your finances--Is it possible to speak with a social worker from a nearby eldecare agency, and find out what is available for you-and get on board any such programs?
This could take a lot of stress off.
Best,
Hap

I think I have heard of this organization, but you know Ted the bottom line lis most of the funds still come from the State and if you live here in Maryland all you hear is there is a freeze on the program. Now what I would like to know is how do you put a freeze on the elderly!!! The Alzheimer Assoc also has a program they will refund up to $600 of funds you spend on your loved one, now the problem with that is most of us caregivers dont have $500 to $600 to sspend and wait to get reimbursed in a month or 2. My State also has the same program where they will reimburse you up to $500, you have to fill out this application, but right now there are no funds available.

There is one organization that I know of that is trying to improve the situation we face- The National Family Caregivers Association, www.thefamilycaregiver.org , Is very politically motivated and worth becoming a member of.

Tiredcaregiver you hit it right on the head!!! I dont know what state you are in but it sounds like you have gone or going through the same thing I am. There is really no solutions to the caregiving unless like you said you are wealthy or have assests to give out. You understand just what Im going through. Merry Christmas and a restful New Year to you.

This entire system needs an overhaul and change of thinking b/c it is going to get worse as more of us age. I don't even think long term care insurance is the answer for the future, not only b/c it is so expensive, but also since many more will be aging and needing care that private insurance will not be able to keep up and will fold, like the insurance companies did when having to pay out for major hurricanes. Even tnose of us whose parents have minimal SS or SSI income and no assets do not get much help if you chose to allow your parent to stay in their home and help them, at least in my state, maybe 24 hours aide help a week, which is something but not if your family member needs 24 hr care and you have to be out working over 40 hours a week. Yet they will pay $10,000 per month Medicaid to a nursing home for less attentive care. What I could do with $10,000 a month to care for my parent! I have no children, paid local school taxes for years without complaint, yet when a family member ages and they are not independently wealthy and you have to work to live, your only choice is to put them in nursing homes or do what many of us are doing, losing our financial security and burning ourselves out. The laws should be changed to give more to help keep those elderly who are able to live in their communities with proper assistance, including to family members, than forcing them into a nursing home. Tbat would include instituting home visiting nurse practitioners who could monitor the health without requiring constant trips to dr offices just to get simple things taken care of.

Thank you Ward, for reminding us all to make the best of what we have and to try to enjoy.

we are all in the same boat! I am assuming we are all 50-60+ and are caring for our parents. Mine has Alzheimers, I am blessed KY has adult day-care it is from 8:30 to 1:00 this gives me a break and her some outside socialization. You are so right I quit a job of 8 yrs. in childcare to stay home to care for her. I keep 3 children but I took a large pay cut my hourly wage is down from $7.90 to $5.64. Dinner & a movie plus $10.hrly for sitter is about $170. so that doesn't happen often. Maybe 1x a year. So I know how u feel when the gov. pays the nursing homes $10.000. a mth why can't we get some compensation they would save loads of money anyway. Have a wonderful Christmas I will remember each of u in my prayers.

I see I'm not the only one in this situation. I really wish there were some kind of comprehensive explaination, we seem to be stuck in the donut hole of all donut holes
If anyone does come up with something, please let the rest of know?

Do you live in PA? There is something called the attendant care program through the Adult Aging Agencies. They can come out to evaluate your parents. If you are not the POA you are able to work dor your parents and get paid. I do not know what state you are in, but try calling the AAA of your county. I hope this is helpful. This is both for disabled adults 18-59 and aging adults 60 plus. Let me know what you find. happy holidays to you and your family, and it will be well with you. God bless

I live in Md. Every place I call has a waiting list or she gets too much money monthly. And no thats not after her rent, thats why I had to remove her from the day care. Basically here in Md the bottom line is there are no more funds, and you would not believe some of the gov workers I talk to. They say wow what kind of work did your mom do that she gets $2,182 a month? Maybe I see another picture, this is 2010. Im tired now anyway and dont have the energy to fight this beaucratic state. Im trying to move to Wash State. I just want to be comfortable and cae for my mom until no longer able. Guess I just wanted to vent. Thank both of you for responding to me. Thanks for your prayers beta, thats all I have now and it carries me daily

well if she has 682 leftover after the monthly rent thats good my mom gets $700 a month thats it so she cant afford a home- but ya i having hard time too -all siblings live far away- she sleeps alot i wake her at noon but will keep eyes closed til about 3 alz and dementia- i take her to my bible studies- she keeps her eyes closed -but i dint want her at home needs to be around people- you may be able to go thru in home supportive services to get paid for her care you can get up tp 96 hours a month -im in cali where are you - good luck- my husband works and gets paid good so thtats how were makin it good - will pray for u

What state do you live in? check out IHSS a state program you could be paid for caring for your mother... it is federal so it has to be in your state. Call the county,see if there are faith based places where elders usually get help(Jewish family services, Catholic Charities) you do not have to be of their faith to get help. Call Elder services in the county she lives in and ask for a social worker to come out and do an assessment. the limit on monthly income here is 2000.00 a month( for your mother) but there are ways you can spend it down( they include health care medications,etc.) please don't give up!