The most challenging thing in this circumstance of caring for my elderly handicapped mother is the lack of respect from siblings. It's THE most painful part of my existence and it's so deeply raw and painful. My only comfort is to tell myself that when mom passes, I can finally walk away from them. They no longer have to be in my life. Yes, I can trace their bullying back to my mother, who has always treated me as the family servant. So, I keep asking myself, why on earth do I stay? Because I'm broke? Because I"m too afraid to leave and be homeless? I see I've never learned defense skills. I've learned how to be a professional servant. I'm very good at it and I've worked all my life, but have chronically quit jobs due to bullying, which I end up attracting from a co-worker, or sometimes a boss. It's like I don't know any other way of life. I'm shocked I'm not dead. I don't know what keeps me alive. I have no will of my own. No boundaries whatsoever. Respect must have to be bread into you from the start somehow. I don't know how to create it at 50 years old Do I go off and live in my car and find respect? What do I do when I have a handicapped mother who my siblings refuse to deal with and my entire family treats me like it's my job to take care of her? I used to think I was blessed to have a purpose in life. Now I just wonder, how on earth have I managed to stay alive this long. Survival of the fittest certainly does not apply to me.