There are so many wonderful places now days. Peoples view of the elderly is changing and with that comes better housing and better caregivers. I have been to quite a few really nice places that have locked facilities just do your leg work.
Ask the doctor for more information, e.g. is the doc talking about a psychiatric facility? That's what it sounds like to me because these are places that you cannot "escape" from.
My best friend's husband had to go to a lockdown facility because his Alzheimer's caused him to wander and he became aggressive if she tried to stop him. They lived on the edge of the desert and it was dangerous for him. The place she got for him through her area's agency on ageing was wonderful. They didn't lock the doors in the daytime, because they had gardens they could wander in. figure 8 sidewalks, circle sidewalks. It was all enclosed by a fence. There was a second fence around the entire facility so they couldn't get out the driveway which of course was locked. I noticed they had fake "kitchens" and women would wipe counters, move plastic dishes around, and pretend to dry dishes. It always smelled great. There were several "front" doors with doorbells, one lady would go outside, shut the door, ring the doorbell, and come in again. I know not all places are this nice. There were some in the next community that didn't let the clients outside. What was even better, this great place was cheaper than the ones in the next community. He was content there. As he became worse, he was moved to another building on the compound, then the third building for bedridden patients. He passed away earlier this month. But, I will always remember that place.
We recently purchased a bed alarm for one of my clients. It will alert staff if she tries to get out of bed at night or if she tries to get out of chair during day. The are suprisingly affordable around 35.00 so worth the peace of mind and one extra layer of protection
Is it possible that she has a UTI? (urinary tract infection) When Mother would get those, she would wander and she could be extremely fearful making her aggressive. After I got a good urologist involved, we went for months UTI free. She suffered from mild dementia due to the previous infections and stroke, but when she died, she was mostly herself. To keep her home, here is what we did. I installed a remote doorbell on her bedroom door so I would know if she left the room. I put up a baby gate that she was unable to open due to its complexity "child proof" between her and any outside doors. This was between the living room and kitchen. The front door has a double cylinder dead bolt lock. I had a baby monitor in her room. At the time of her death, I had considered installing cameras. You don't state her problem. Is it wandering or is it violence or just insane behavior. My friend's grandmother would smear feces on the walls. Yes they revert to being a baby again.
If dementia is the problem, you can find a list of secure (locked) dementia units in the resources section of alz.org. That would be a good place to start. Visit the ones in your area and pre-decide which ones would be acceptable to you. Usually, secure dementia units are for people who have dementia and can walk.
Every region of the US has an Area Agency on Aging. Find yours in the phone book under national organizations.They will help you with an evaluation, and rcommendations for out of home placement and how to apply for funding sources.
ramiller - Yes. My 94 yr. old MIL is in a beautiful facility. She is in the locked section which only means that anyone entering or exiting must have a code to punch in to get in or out. In this facility, it is only the staff that has this information. Her previous facility was not a locked facility and she did get out and took a walk. Thankfully the staff realized it before she got too far - she did not have her walker and her confusion was worsening.
The residents are kept busy and engaged during the day - they cannot be in their rooms for long periods. Which, for advanced dementia patients is a good thing. Safety and well being must come before hers or our wants. It takes a while, but the residents most usually get used to their new surroundings. If only my own mother and brother would see the benefit of being around other people. UGH!
Doctors arent God. No one would help me either. Suddenly the siblings all were too busy to help and it was devastating to say the least as I also had 2 childen and home and a full time job. Being dpoa, I sold my mothers assets and moved her in with us. Her assets paid for home care. Once that runs out you can apply for a medicaid waiver for at home care which I am in the process of now. Keep good records. I used daycare when mom could walk, it was a long time weaning her into liking it there, I stayed the first many times. I worked with a man who had his wife in a different daycare and when his wife became aggitated and wandering,they gave him a 2 week notice that she had to leave. It was a lock down daycare too! He called the doctor who put his wife on medication. Near the end of the 2 weeks the daycare changed their mind and said she could stay , the meds had kicked in. He was so upset over the whole ordeal that he took her home anyway and arranged home care. No one can tell you what to do except the dpoa and your hearts. good luck, it'll work out, its just such such such a long road!!!:0(
I was a caregiver in a lock down dementia unit. If she is a risk to herself or others she needs lock down. Usually lock down is for people that will wander. Doctor sometimes just give up on patients but because of your love which is the best medicine. Use wisdom and get another opinion before making a decision. Lock down is the best solution for some bur not all. Will be sending prayers for the best solution.
Lock down sounds scarey but in reality it just means in a facility where she cannot get out, one with alarms on doors and key codes. Many of these facilities are beautiful and you would never know they are lock downs. Please call your Area Agency on Aging they will help you connect with a social worker what will then help with placement. You are not alone there is always someone to help. And as others have stated more info will help us guide you. Stay in touch many great people here to help.
Go to www.aging.gov and find your state services. You'll find contacts for local organizations there such as your Area Agency on Aging. They can help you decide what the next steps should be.
There does come a time for many with dementia where it's too hard to keep them safe if you are the only caregiver.
I think you need to ask the doctor to be more specific. Does he think she needs a locked psychiatric facility? Memory care? What are her impairments and are medications being tried to calm her? Let us know and we'll try to help.
The residents are kept busy and engaged during the day - they cannot be in their rooms for long periods. Which, for advanced dementia patients is a good thing. Safety and well being must come before hers or our wants. It takes a while, but the residents most usually get used to their new surroundings. If only my own mother and brother would see the benefit of being around other people. UGH!
There does come a time for many with dementia where it's too hard to keep them safe if you are the only caregiver.
Please update us when you can.
Carol
You can see another physician or go by what you are told.
JUST KEEP HER SAFE.
GOD'S SPEED.....♥.....