My husband has been in hospital for 5 months following surgery that left him totally inmobile. I hope to bring him home soon and care for him at home. His children have abandoned him. They only care about how much money they will get when he passes away. So sad. He is not on life support but is total care. Any suggestions on what I need for care?
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=bringing husband home for care
There was a similar thread about a week ago, but I can't find it right now. If I can, I'll post a link. It was a post about bringing someone home from a facility, with a lot of good suggestions on what to look for and how to plan.
But some things to consider: You wrote that he's totally immobile. I'm assuming you'll need 24/7 care for him. That's a significant commitment, and probably a costly one as you'll need equipment as well as 24/7 caregivers. Do you have the funds to pay for this, or will you need to apply for Medicaid? Have you thought about the cost and personal privacy compromise of hiring 24/7 caregivers?
Has there been any discussion at all of going to a rehab facility as a first level step-down to home care? Or is his mobility of a nature that can't be improved at all?
I'm sorry about the kids being jerks. You'll inherit everything when your DH passes, just change the will/trust and leave the little monsters out of it completely. My grandma did just that.
Good Luck with this huge, life altering move!! And be sure to take care of yourself, along the way. Caregiver burnout is serious and you need to be in top form to take on a very sick person.
By chance was your husband ever in the military? I was thinking of all the good programs that are available for troops that come back being immobile but later are able to get around using motorized wheelchairs, etc.
Hospice was mentioned above, but note that Hospice is used only if your husband's doctor has deemed your husband has 6 months or less to live. From what you wrote, that doesn't sound like the case. Correct me if I am wrong. I hope that is not the case.
You definitely cannot do all of this on your own.
Your local Agency for Aging may be able to help.
There should be a social worker or such where he is now to create a discharge plan. Talk to them about what you need and if it is realistic for you to care for him by yourself. If he is total care, this will be very difficult.
Do not bring him home unless you have POA, both financial and medical.
His kids (adult children) will be coming out of the woodwork to make your life a living hell, thinking they are protecting Dad and their inheritance.
Hire an elder care attorney (NAELA Certified), and if you both don't have your future financial plans secure, do it now. You may lose your home.